jayne Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 My boyfriend and I are both 30 year old professionals. We've been friends for years and started a romantic relationship 3 months ago. He was very slow at moving forward with me physically...I just thought he was being respectful. When I told him I wanted more, we started moving forward...and then I realized that he had a very small penis. 4 inches erect and thin. This does not bother me. We have only been intimate 3 times....he got an erection the last time we were together, but he did not orgasm. What can I do to make him more relaxed so we can have a satisfying sex life??? Link to comment
GettingOverIt Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Has he specifically said anything about being self-conscious regarding his size? If so, then you might want to try other methods (hands, oral, etc) and slowly build his confidence... If he is really self-conscious to the point he can't enjoy things, then you may have to take extra time down there. Don't try to rush anything, and he may not orgasm for several times... You may have to reassure him that it's okay he didn't, and then go back to just 'playing around' with him... Link to comment
jayne Posted January 21, 2005 Author Share Posted January 21, 2005 thanks for your input. He has not said a word to me about being self-conscience about this. However, he did recently tell me that he lost over 100lbs about 6 years ago....he spoke about his tough childhood full of name calling and loneliness. This surprised me as he is 6'2 - 185lbs - and has run in 3 marathons since I have known him! Do you think I should say something?? Amanda Link to comment
arwen Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 I think this can be an issue that leads to real insecurity for men. Kind of like women with really flat chest (like myself...). I think it takes time. Just let him know he gives you pleasure. Touch his penis, without hesitation. It's a sensitive matter! Maybe after a while you can try to satisfy him orally? I mean, a woman doesn't do this when she thinks the thing that her man has down there is too ... icky, right? I think it would be more useful to have male advice here, although also for members here it's a sensitive subject, I would imagine. Maybe it's not only the penissize. For the first time in my life I am with someone that I have been friends with for a while before we got involved. He had been in love with me since day one but I had a relationship. We moved slowly on the sexpart as well. It's just more strange to go from friendship to another level of intimacy, maybe that plays a role as well. One last thing I can think of concerns the fact that he didn't have an orgasm. As his penis is thin as well, how does he feel inside for you? If you don't really feel him moving, it might be difficult for him to come just because his penis is too thin to feel enough resistance from your vagina. Have you tried to really thighten the muscles of your vagina during intercourse? I mean sort of contracting them? It might help... good luck and you relax too!!! Ilse. Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 NOOOOOO Don't say anything!!!! You have to stroke his ego (no pun intended) . Guys are very sensitive about that area of their physique. The only way size should be brought up is if he does it himself. I think I agree with poster that says you just have to build up his self confidence. Despite that he hasn't said anything about it, Im sure he feels insecure about it. Just show him with actions rather than words that he's manly and desirable. Hang in there! Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 He is obviously insecure about something in the relationship. Could be his penis size, transitioning from just being friends to being intimate, or a hundred different other possibilities. You need to talk to him about it because no one here will know for sure. Turn to the source of the problem for the solution. Link to comment
dreamweaverdude Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Well I would tend to agree with the princess here, dont mention to him at all unless HE initiates the talk. If it truly is NOT an issue with you , then SHOW him by yours actions it isn't an issue, I'm not the most blessed man in the world either and I tend to cut jokes about me every man handles it different. GOod Luck...... Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Im sure that you can think of other activites that can be equally if not more pleasureable for him. The key is both of you being comfortable with eachother once that has been established then you can get into deeper discussions about the issue. As for right now find out what he finds most pleasureable. Link to comment
tbenson2 Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 aside from what others have said, try different positions. go down on him and once he's fully erect, get on top. tbenson2 Link to comment
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