Hit a relapse after almost a month of feeling moved on.

[JackJackxD]

I am a dumpee of a 2.5 years relationship, and we've broken up for 5 months now. We are currently in no contact and have been doing so for nearly 3 months. Just a few weeks ago I found that she has blocked me on Facebook.

 

In the last month, I was feeling fine, almost as if I've moved on completely already. I wasn't thinking about her all the time, and even if she did come up on my mind it didn't bring up any emotions. I still think she is a great girl, but I felt like she has nothing to do with me anymore. It is like finding money on the way home could make my day better, but not finding any money would not make my day any worse. In this case, if I could get back with her they sure, that is great. However, if I don't get her back, it won't mean that my life would be filled with sadness. That is genuinely how I felt at the time. I go into lectures and tutorials and still see her, but I just get on with my own work and focus on the things I have on my hand. Again, seeing her didn't trigger any emotions.

 

However, a few days ago it is just as if someone turned on a switch or something. I suddenly started to miss her, and everything started reminding me of her. I could walk by someone in the street and the scent of their perfume would remind me of my Ex-GF. I started getting the intense feeling of regret, like I passed on something amazing and that I will never have another chance to get her back again. All the bad things that I thought about previously to justify that she isn't that great of a girlfriend just got thrown to the back of my head. The future started to look pretty dime again, as I feel like she will always be the No.1 girl, and that my future relationships will never be as great as this, and that I will have to settle for the second best (Hope my future SO doesn't see this xD).

 

I really thought I've moved on. Being able to feel like you've moved on is great! I felt free, and was able to feel happy without feeling like something is missing from my life. Before, I used to hit relapse after 3-7 days. 1 month has been the longest time I felt like I've moved on, and I thought the regret/sadness would never come back again.

 

Does this happen to you guys even though it has been a long time after break-up? What can be done about it?

[Ms Darcy]

That's the thing about truly moving on. It's a process and there isn't any length of time you have before you move on. You just keep doing what you were doing and try to get back to that positive space. You will move on and find someone better for you for sure.