Btmnk21 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I’ve posted a few times regarding my ex/girlfriend . We started dating over a year ago, then broke up last summer, and got back together this past November. Why we broke up? We were fighting all the time and I was being disrespectful during those fights. We mainly fought about one thing, my previous girlfriend from 2004-2008, who in 2008 we realized we were better off as friends and roommates and ended our romantic involvement and became friends. My gf met my ex-gf a few times, but no matter what I did or said she would claim from time to time I still loved my ex. Even stopping all contact with my friend did not help. She would bring her up at least once a week if not more, and when the real nasty fights would happen she would almost regress into a screaming, crying mess saying the most awful things, running outside in the cold half naked, or throwing and breaking things. Our new relationship, Nov 2014- she said she would stop mentioning past and would control herself from going “off the deep end” as she put it. For several week things were good. Then one night in December she got really drunk and again starting mentioning my ex. Upon sobering up she laid the blame at my feet because I remind her of my ex-gf. A few days later on the way to a party I asked her to not get so drunk, and she flipped out and lost control. She blamed me for ruining her fun and trying to control her. She even tried to jump from a moving car. Then several weeks go by and things calm down. However last night she had another episode. I cooked a meal and instead of using ground beef I used buffalo. She ate some and said it was good. I told her it was buffalo and she flipped out. She forced herself to throw up the food saying she hates buffalo (I didn’t know this). She began to cry and shake, she said she wanted to die. Then she brought up my ex gf- saying I would not do that to her (now it’s been 7 years apart). Normally I would get mad at her, but I just walked away to the computer room. She followed me and kicked the door open breaking the lock. Then she said she was sorry, and just wanted to talk, but a few minutes later she called me a name and kicked the trashcan over. She dared me to call the cops. She was crying so I held her and told her she needs to talk to a therapist like we said months ago. She agreed and seemed a little better. Later that evening she was saying negative things about herself- that she is stupid and worthless. She asked if I would be okay if she wasn’t around anymore. I ignored it- not sure what else to do. Then this morning she was getting ready for work and I was still asleep. She woke me up screaming at me to talk to her because she was scared to drive (it has snowed the day before). Then she went downstairs and screamed at me to find her keys. She couldn’t find her so she said she was taking mine (how would I get to work?) and then screamed until I came down and found them (they were right next to her). She then followed me back upstairs and wanted me to hold her. I wanted to sleep and told her that. She stormed out and slammed the front door. I am honestly so lost and confused. I am sick of forgiving her. I am sick of her bringing up my past and using it against me. I want her to get help but I don’t know where to start. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 One of you needs to move out. She is an immature child with anger issues and a drinking problem. She clearly doesn't think she needs help. And you appear to have reached your limit. If you still want to try, tell her she has until the end of the month to enroll in an anger management course, because life is too short to be subjected to her behavior on a constant basis. Link to comment
relevart Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Her getting help is on her, not you. You've talked to her about it, but you can't kidnap her, throw her in the trunk of your car and take her to a counselor. You've done what you can do. Personally, I would not stick around with anyone treating me like that. At the very least, it's time for a Come to Jesus meeting where you say she must get help or find a new guy to treat like ish. Link to comment
MisUnderstood9 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 ya i would of stayed broken up.. that is ridiculous. I would of ended it right then and there. No one needs to deal with sh*t like that. Be done, this is ridiculous -- its meat, she said she liked its obviously she doesnt hate it. Complete crap. Get rid of her. Holy CRAP I cannot stress that enough! She is soo immature I am surprised you just havent packed up and left cuz I would of, in a heat beat. I probably wouldnt of taken her back period. She needs professional help and she isnt going to get the help until she realizes that the outbursts she have driven away people that she loves -- including you. I am actually SHOCKED that you are putting up with this! Link to comment
bulletproof Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Understandable that you want her to get help, but as others have pointed out, you cannot make her do that. At this point you have to ask yourself what's going on with you, that you are okay with this type of behavior. Even if she starts therapy tomorrow, it's probably going to be a long time before she's behaving in a healthy manner. People typically don't change overnight. Might be time to go. Link to comment
zebragirl Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 She has an anger problem or something and it's not going to get better unless she gets the help she needs. Link to comment
Dcgent Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Wow...she is an absolute mess and you need to move on and away from such a toxic person. There is no good coming out of this relationship. You need to work on gaining your self respect back, as this woman really stripped you of it! Link to comment
sheiscourtney Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 She's crazy! You need to break up with her and she needs to get counsiling. Behaving like how she is, is not good for either of you. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Drama relationship!! I'm going to guess the sex is spectacular, and that's a large reason why you stay. A counselor told my brother's good friend something very true but for some reason not obvious to a lot of men...normal, sane women are good in bed too! Yes, it's true! I realize some people crave the adrenaline rush of a drama relationship. They mistake the anxiety and nerves for "love". They are addicted to the plunging lows of a fight followed by the extreme highs of making up. My ex loved drama relationships. He believed sex could only be good after a screaming fight, because the fight would be followed by a passionate reunion with sex. Geez, what a nightmare. If you are one of those who craves a drama relationship, you'll probably stay. However, it makes no sense to complain about the drama! If you don't want a drama relationship, then I suggest you end things before they escalate to physical fights, police being called (and someone, probably you, getting arrested), destruction of your personal property, etc. PS: My ex's most recent drama relationship resulted in his GF burning down his house. They are together still because, as he said, she only did it because she loves him so much she lost control of herself. So he's forced to live in the rafters of a local business, but hey, he still has his drama relationship! Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 A counselor told my brother's good friend something very true but for some reason not obvious to a lot of men...normal, sane women are good in bed too! Yes, it's true! I've spent 44 years searching and still haven't found one that was. Maybe its because I'm using psycho chick sex as the benchmark. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I've spent 44 years searching and still haven't found one that was. Maybe its because I'm using psycho chick sex as the benchmark. Well, as long as you're willing to put up with broken personal property, being screamed at, getting scratched, pinched, slapped, even kicked and punched (not during sex I might add), being called horrible names, being threatened, having her bring around her male buddies to kick your butt, police being called, getting arrested, etc. I guess the wild sex is worth all of that. But yeah, I'm not a psycho and I'm told I'm a firecracker in the sack... Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Well, as long as you're willing to put up with broken personal property, being screamed at, getting scratched, pinched, slapped, even kicked and punched (not during sex I might add), being called horrible names, being threatened, having her bring around her male buddies to kick your butt, police being called, getting arrested, etc. I guess the wild sex is worth all of that. But yeah, I'm not a psycho and I'm told I'm a firecracker in the sack... You mean there actually woman who WONT do all that? Who knew? ;-) Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 You mean there actually woman who WONT do all that? Who knew? ;-) IKR? Who knew??!! Now you're going to tell me there are men who don't cheat the second I'm not around. Crazy stuff there. OP, yep, there are actually some nice, cool (and hot) girls who don't act like your current GF. And they like sex too! Link to comment
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