Heres the contact letter yay or nay

[EclipseXkim621]

It's been a year ago today that me and my exboyfriend had broken up, and well, I admit, I've been really down and out today. Looking at old pictures, sleeping, listening to these depressing songs and writting a lot. It's been a long journey in becoming strong and receiving my pride back and I wouldnt want to lose that.

 

Its been 4 months now when we decided its over for good, and that we will not talk anymore..I have NOT initiated any contact at all.. Its been him saying "Merry Christmas, Happy New years" etc. You know, the typical things. He's been on my mind a lot, I haven't found a man half as decent since the breakup, and I feel the same for him as I did a year ago. I am the one who messed things up between us, and I feel like he's the one. I love and miss him..a lot.

 

Although, I should except the fact that we're done, and that he's moved on and over the whole situation, I still feel this "hope" inside of myself..Which has caused me to write this email to him, It's saved and I have not sent it yet.

 

Feedback on it, and weither or not I should just let it be and not send it or..if it could help a little and heal my heart a bit more..would help. Or any changes I could do to it...Thanks everyone..

 

 

Hey you, I'm just saying hi. You were just on my mind a lot today I guess..a year since we broke up, I don't know why or how I remember that. heh. There's not much meaning in this email, I just wanted to know how you have been, and stuff like that. Not like I should really care or even be asking, but hey why not right? I wanted to text msg you, but I have no idea if you even have the same # anymore. I see you online from time to time, and can't bring myself to just IM you and have a normal conversation.. I dont know why, I guess just because the last time we talked, a couple months ago, we decided things were done-weren't going to talk anymore_which have been my intentions all along, but when I get to thinking, like I have been, I go and do something like this. I've been over the whole 'hope' stage of course and gone on my way since that day -- so I think that's why I'm able to write this to you. Something in my heart feels so much for you though.. that it just gets at me a lot...at times. I really don't even know how to say the things I want to say, so I guess I really won't try.

You must be rolling your eyes at this point and saying like 'leave me alone' or 'seriously, get out of my life already'. haha, but, oh well, it's alright. Obviously I will be fine with all that since I'm planning on sending this to you. I just wanted you to know that you're still on my mind, I still feel something about you..that I can't even explain-I wish it wasn't this way, things would be so much easier heh, oh well though.. atleast I got it off my chest, which is just what I've needed to do. Maybe I'll hear from you sometime, 4, Kim

[ang3l2004]

I say send it if that is how you feel and you need to get it out there is nothing wrong with that and then mabe just mabe he is thinking or feeling the same way and even if he is not atleast you got what you needed to get off of your chest out in the open which will make you feel better as well good luck and keep your head up!

[EclipseXkim621]

Thanks a lot for the reply I'm so nervous heh.

[ajk]

i wouldn't send that email. it has a self-effacing tone to it...

and is saying things that are the opposite of what you said in your post about it, so i think you will only regret not being completely honest.

for example, you wrote you still have hope and want to work things out, and the email says you've 'been through' that hope stage. you're not telling him the truth, so how can you expect to connect to him?

 

also, things like "not that i should really care" and "i know you must be rolling your eyes" are anti-communicative. i would definitely take those kinds of statements out, but overall, i would rewrite the whole thing, REALLY take the time to think about if you can really handled the relationship again, or if you just need to ask for his forgiveness and take things one day at a time after that.

[annie24]

what did you do to mess things up? Have you already apologized for it? I personally wouldn't send that e-mail - yeah, like the other post said, it's self-effacing. If he writes back anything other than, "yes, I love you, I want you back" you'll be hurt and disappointed. I'm all for avoiding more pain. I'd just send him a quick e-mail like, "Hey - how have things been? We haven't talked in a while. I also wanted to say I'm sorry for the situation in the past. I hope you're able to forgive me." Just open the dialog - See where things go from there.

[Tryingtobestrong]

Hi Kim,

 

as your breakup was a year ago and you have not spoken to him in 4 months, I dont think you would do much damage by sending a mail, as long as you can take a short, inpersonal reply.

 

I agree with the other posters though, that if you do write this mail, then be totally honest. If you are brave enough to put yourself out on the line, then do it all the way.

 

Tell him how you feel and see what he says. Dont put yourself down in your message.

 

At least if you send him this mail you wont have to wonder anymore. How does the saying go? 'We regret the chances not taken!'

 

Good luck with everything!

[littlelaxer]

hey,

i would just like to add that if u do decide to send an email at all, in my opinion i dont think u should send that one. Like said before send a short one just asking how hes doing, what is he up to. Even though u might not be thinkin of him all the time, from reading this letter it kinda shows that this past year of u two being separated he has been on ur mind constantly. And if he is, which is fine cause we all understand that, i dont know if u want him to think that.

 

There are points in the letter where ur saying stuff along the lines of hope. Its almost like what u say in the letter is ur last thread of hope for him. I know its tough but i think u would come off as a stronger person if u kept the email short and kinda cheerful just asking how he is doing and what not.

 

Unless u think this would make u feel better go ahead and send that letter. I was just lettin ya hear what i think.... 8)

[Mentor]

I agree with ajk on this one, don't send this. The message you are sending is of two minds. You clearly are not sure in your heart what you want from this, or else you are not being fully honest with yourself, or him.

 

I think you need more time....

 

Good luck!

[PrincessLinzay]

I agree with the other posters, if you're going to send an email, don't send that particular email. You need to write it in an honest manner, and stop downplaying your emotions and sidestepping the important issues.

 

You definitely don't want to put yourself down in the message either. Just tell him how you feel and then leave the door open for him to communicate with you if he should so choose. Just be real.

[EclipseXkim621]

I really really wish I would have waited, but, I pressed that 'send' button too soon, and I regret it with everything in me. He read it, and there was no reply once so ever..I asked to be hurt this time, i really did. You all were right-I don't know what I was thinking, thank you all though...here I go again, at step one... I really should have thought harder before sending it, it seemed so..hopeful but depressing at the same time, heh, just the way I felt at the time..which..i really shouldn't have shown. Thanks a lot though, this just proves how low I just put myself. ouchies.