Ladytmt Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 So i keep thinking that this guy who recently tossed me like a piece of trash because he's so in love with someone else and he has "equity" in her is now a changed man. He has hid his facebook page again, hasn't been on the dating site i met him on in about a week, etc. did he just discover how in love with this person he was after he screwed me and probably a few other women over in the week they were broken up? This guy never came out and admitted he had a girlfriend...just told me he was "supporting" her until she could get back out on her own, as if they weren't getting along. And as to why he wasn't available at times it was because he gets poor phone service in his area, busy with work, having to care for his disabled uncle, etc. during the week he and her were broken up i found all of these to be lies. His phones get great service he just powers them off !!! And i saw his uncle and the man can do for himself, so these lies all make sense in that she was in the picture and he wouldn't admit it. Who does this to a GF they supposedly love and are in love with? It may not be true but i keep thinking that he used me and changed for the better for her!? Is this twisted or what!? Tired of these thoughts and i really want to tell this woman about her cheating man Link to comment
mg22 Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 How long did you date this guy? Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 How long did you date this guy? We didn't date Link to comment
mg22 Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 He was probably just feeding his ego on other women until things with his ex resolved. Many people both men and women need that ego boost when they are going thru problems with there ex's. Don't take it personally. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 If you didn't even date and were simply a booty call, why are you putting so much energy into this. Why waste more time on him. You know he's a cheating lying creep, and no, character rarely changes. I hope to god that when he contacts you again for sex, you will value yourself enough to not respond. Sorry, but there were red flags all over the place with this guy. Check out link removed Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 If you didn't even date and were simply a booty call, why are you putting so much energy into this. You know he's a cheating lying creep, and no, character rarely changes. I hope to god that when he contacts you again for sex, you value yourself enough to not respond. Sorry, but there were red flags all over the place with this guy. Check out link removed After seeing his profile online i assumed he was single and i wanted to pursue something with him he knew that so i guess thats why he kept giving me all of the excuses i mention in my post but i stuck around thinking things would change but this chaos happened I have blocked him so i don't know if he's been contacting me or not. I spent the majority of that week with him then he gives me the " let down easy" speech of i'm the perfect woman and i'm wife material but he loved her and didn't want to start over because of "equity" they have had and off and on relationship for about a year Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 How long did you date Are you still following on FB Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 How long did you date Are you still following on FB No im no longer following him on FB..as i said we didn't date because he kept giving me the excuses i mentioned in my post Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Hon, why are you putting in an ounce of energy into someone that you didn't even date??? I don't get it!!!! Why do you care? How did he use you, and toss you like a piece of trash if you never went out? It sounds like you get over involved with people you do not even know. I would address this, as it not healthy. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 Hon, why are you putting in an ounce of energy into someone that you didn't even date??? I don't get it!!!! Why do you care? Its hard to explain during the week they were broken up i felt drawn to him we talked a lot, i was attracted to him, his personality, sense of humor. I initially met him back in april and we just talked by phone during this time i did like him and i wanted to date him but like i said there was always in excuse so i stuck around and when he told me they broke up i thought i had my opportunity. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Please read the additional comment I added to the last post. Also, you never want to be someone's rebound. Don't wait around for people to break up, as the likelihood that it will work for you is nil. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 Please read the additional comment I added to the last post. Also, you never want to be someone's rebound. Don't wait around for people to break up, as the likelihood that it will work for you is nil. I said he used me because he knew i was looking for a relationship but yet he still continued to call and want to see me and talked to me like he wasnt going to be with her telling me the book was closed with her Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 You knew the dynamics of the relationship. Were talking to him while he was still with her, or only when they split? You really need to look at one's actions and not listen to their words. I t will save you much pain. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 You knew the dynamics of the relationship. Were talking to him while he was still with her, or only sporadically? Sporadically. He was calling me from different numbers. I wasn't calling him. I continued to talk to him because he had me thinking she was awful and he wanted to get away from her Link to comment
mg22 Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Maybe the guy didn't want to hurt your feelings. He never looked like he intended to take it forward with you. Maybe you thought he did but maybe he just wanted to be your friend. Next time don't wait around for anybody !! Link to comment
Lester Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 "Do cheaters ever change?" - Wrong question, instead, ask yourself why you are asking such questions. It's a non-relationship with a crafty man who could get you very sick for a very long time. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Sporadically. He was calling me from different numbers. I wasn't calling him. I continued to talk to him because he had me thinking she was awful and he wanted to get away from her OK. Lesson learned. Don't ever be some guy's psychologist. Also, you should not have been talking to him while he was still with her. Period! You need to seek people who are available - so you are not a rebound - so that you do not waste your time. Red flags all over the place! You were not used, and also to blame, for sticking around in hopes that they would split up. Look for available men. Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Yes, cheaters can change. Anyone can change. They just have to be willing to put the effort. Drop this guy like a hot potato. Sooner or later you're going to get burned. It's not worth the time spent healing over your wounds. Good luck. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 "Do cheaters ever change?" - Wrong question, instead, ask yourself why you are asking suck questions. It's a non-relationship with a crafty man who could get you very sick for a very long time. Well be it this situation or the one i had 3 years ago where i really was cheated on by someone i was with for 2 years. Maybe that relationship and this non one has made me question cheaters and make me feel as if i am not worthy because of these 2 men Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 OK. Lesson learned. Don't ever be some guy's psychologist. Also, you should not have been talking to him while he was still with her. Period! You need to seek people who are available - so you are not a rebound - so that you do not waste your time. Red flags all over the place! You were not used, and also to blame, for sticking around in hopes that they would split up. Look for available men. Ive blamed myself enough trust me i feel worthless because of it and i am bottom line. Everyone is trying to run a game. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Well be it this situation or the one i had 3 years ago where i really was cheated on by someone i was with for 2 years. Maybe that relationship and this non one has made me question cheaters and make me feel as if i am not worthy because of these 2 men You're not responsible for others actions, only in who you chose. As I said before, there were glaring, neon flags with this guy, but you chose to ignore them. You need to look at YOUR patterns as to who you chose. If you continue to end up with creeps, then you're the common denominator. This current guy was a disaster from the start. Don't see yourself as a victim, but the role you take in who you chose. Link to comment
Someday_Soon Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 Cheaters can change, but it can be a slow uphill battle. It may take a lot longer than you're ready for before he finally truly decides to settle down. Link to comment
Kernal22 Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 No. Don't do it. It's not worth it. Link to comment
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