Should I tell her I'm seeing someone new?

[Lovelavie]

I got out of a one year relationship about two months ago, and after that I started hooking up with a friend whom I've known for about a year also. We'd hang out together when I was with my BF but I never acted upon it and neither did he even though there was a lot of chemistry between us. Turns out we've been "together" for a month now, and he's made it clear several times that he wants a relationship but I told him I'm not ready to make it official just yet.

 

I really like him and I find myself falling for him more and more. He treats me like a princess, and honestly I've never been treated better by a guy. My exes never did half of what he's done for me and I know he's like this because I've known him for a while now. He's gorgeous and he's got a great personality and we get along REALLY well and I can see us being together down the road... However, one of the reasons I'm not taking a step forward is because of my mom. She doesn't really believe in love and she always says she regrets getting married and she doesn't seem to understand relationships even though she's been with my dad for 25 years. I get really stressed out with her because she told me she doesn't want to see me in a relationship any time soon and that she thinks I'm not ready for one. I may not be mature enough to have a really serious relationship, but I'm having fun with this guy and I respect him and he respects me and it's all good, it's not like we're gonna get married tomorrow.

 

Anyway, with that said, I have to hide it from her when I go out with him and make excuses, I've made a bunch of excuses but I can't keep doing this for much longer because my guy will start questioning it even... however I'm so afraid of her getting mad at me and calling me a like she's called me before that I'm afraid of telling her I'm seeing someone. She thinks it's too soon for that, but the truth is I'm completely over my ex, he was a jerk to me and I've realized he's not worth it... and I found someone way better.

 

All my friends know I'm with him, he's introduced me to all of his friends, even his family knows! I slept over at his house this weekend and I had to tell my mom I was at a friend's house.

 

I mean come on, I'm 21 years old, I'm about to get a job, I go to college, I seriously don't know what goes on my mother's head that I can't be with someone "just yet" like there's a rule for it and like it's my fault that we got along so well. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to approach her and tell her about this, I feel like a teenager because this situation is so ridiculous!

[CraigHowes]

Is your mum going to live your life for you or are you? Haters are gonna hate my friend, you tell your mum all about your new man. Who cares if she likes it or not, your a grown woman and make your own decisions.

 

Just be honest with her. Say I've met someone and I'd really appreciate it if you would be happy for me. That's it then you go along and have fun with your new man woo.

[ParisPaulette]

Well, if you're 21 years old sooner or later you will have to put your big girl pants on and realize you do not "owe" anything to your mom or to hide who you go out with for fear she's going to say something mean to you. You already know that will happen, so big deal. Are you going to spend the rest of your life hiding for fear over what the woman says or are you going to go out and live your life?

 

Tell her you're going on a date and that's that, none of the rest of it is her business. You know this would be her reaction if you lived in a monastery for a year (actually she'd probably complain about that too) and so what are you going to do? Stay locked away in the tower forever or ride out into the world a free woman? And yes, you need to get your own place and to move out and limit contact with your mom if it's that bad.

 

Easy for me to say I know, but if you are old enough to drink and drive, you are old enough to live the life you want with whoever you want. It's your choice if you let anyone, even family, browbeat you into hiding.

[jetsuo]

To be honest i think you should just remove your focus from your mums opinion.