Can anyone make sense of this ?

[Sunnysidex1]

I've just found out the exact reasons I was dumped a year ago and just wanted to see what people thought

 

Reasons for the BU were as follows:

 

1: she wasn't happy (I didn't like her talking to her ex-bf behind my back especially due to the sort of texts he was sending and she basically choose him over me)

2: I cheated ( I would never, some guy friend told her I did and she believed him. Coincidently, she started dating that guys best friend a month later)

3: A friend of mine (apparently) told her things I have done in my past and she thought I wasn't the person she fell for.

 

yet to this day she is rude and absolutely nervous around me, is this normal ?. Is it normal for a dumper to make up reasons like the above ?

 

 

Thank you

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm sorry, but why are you still associating yourself with this nonsense? This has been going on for the past six months, it's time to let go.

[lukeb]

What makes you think that there is a need to make sense of it. There is a need to accept it and moving on but that is not the same thing as making sense of it. She doesn't need to have any reasons except for the fact that she doesn't want to be with you anymore. Break ups are difficult and it is very difficult not to see it as a rejection on a very personal and intimate level. It is understandable that you would try to make sense of it, but again that doesn't mean that it is necessary.

[Sunnysidex1]

I'm sorry, but why are you still associating yourself with this nonsense? This has been going on for the past six months, it's time to let go.

 

Sorry, I should have mentioned. I cant escape it due to working and studying with her and her friends. While I have for the most part moved on the constant entanglement of our lives is overwhelming and I don't have the resources to escape it yet. Im constantly subjected tho this s*** on a daily basis and im trying to make sense of it all. Guess its a battle I cant win tho.

[Sunnysidex1]

Thank you that's exactly what I needed to hear.

[saluk]

"I've just found out the -exact- reasons I was dumped a year ago"

 

Nice try. Dumpers will tell you whatever reasons are convenient for them at the time of telling you, or whatever they think you will believe. The real reason is you just don't work as a couple. Most of the time, this can only be explained by the symptoms. The root cause, most of the time, in my opinion - some people work and some people don't. It's just life.

 

She is rude/nervous around you because you are a source of emotional stress. This is the usual result of a breakup. Which is why what usually happens is major distancing.

 

Distance yourself, however you can - emotionally if not physically. She is also a source of emotional stress for you. I've been there, it can be done.

[HeartGoesOn]

They know they're getting a rise out of you...prove them wrong. In addition to that, this says more about them than it does about you, therefore be the bigger person and let them have at it.

[Sunnysidex1]

"I've just found out the -exact- reasons I was dumped a year ago"

 

Nice try. Dumpers will tell you whatever reasons are convenient for them at the time of telling you, or whatever they think you will believe. The real reason is you just don't work as a couple. Most of the time, this can only be explained by the symptoms. The root cause, most of the time, in my opinion - some people work and some people don't. It's just life.

 

She is rude/nervous around you because you are a source of emotional stress. This is the usual result of a breakup. Which is why what usually happens is major distancing.

 

Distance yourself, however you can - emotionally if not physically. She is also a source of emotional stress for you. I've been there, it can be done.

 

Thank you so much. I guess I was trying to make sense of it all due to the fact our lives are so entangled but I shouldn't even bother. Thank you, your response has really helped me.

[Sunnysidex1]

They know they're getting a rise out of you...prove them wrong. In addition to that, this says more about them than it does about you, therefore be the bigger person and let them have at it.

 

Thank you for your time. I will continue to block this out and not worry about trying to find ways to solve it.

[annie24]

can you find a new job? it might help you get some distance.