Seraphim Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 I have no clue how to help my son transition into adulthood. No idea how to help him. I'm at a loss. I have no one to show me the way. It is breaking my heart for him. No one will give me any skills or funding or ANYTHING. All the advice everybody has for me is force him , force him , force him force him. In my heart and soul this feels so wrong. God, please bring me the way. There has to be one. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 No Vic, I disagree. Okay, he doesn't like those sort of events, but it's alright. Was probably all the build-up to it that made him so anxious. There are a lot of people who don't like those type of things. My sister made her debutante, but I refused. At that age, it was just not something ai wanted to go through. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Maybe it could be more a matter of letting him explore who he is and what he wants, and be guided by him. He's a smart boy Vic. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Just thinking that he probably didn't want his jacket on because it was irritating - lot if people on the spectrum can have extreme discomfort with various types of clothing. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Maybe it could be more a matter of letting him explore who he is and what he wants, and be guided by him. He's a smart boy Vic. Oh ,he definitely knows who he is and what he wants to be. And how he wants to get there. Those are the easier parts. It is how I make him self-sufficient. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Vic, for a lot of us, our ability to live happily, self-determining is about forming our own team of people who are there to help us along the way - not necessarily professional people. For my own son, I never under-estimated the importance of him having less than handful of good friends. Is in his late 20s now and still close with his best mate from high school who he says is like a brother to him. I believe they will be lifelong friends. That's so important to my peace of mind with him being an only child. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 [video=youtube_share;qREQlELyH40] ] My son has face blindness . Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 What do you think the barriers are to him being self sufficient (or rather, as self sufficient as he can be). Proms and such are not required events. Not me, not my siblings, we never went to ours. You thought he'd like it but he didn't. That's okay, live and learn. Have you ever looked into Project Search? I looked on their site and they have resources in Canada. link removed What it does is it's a program that is geared toward autistic individuals and others with developmental disabilities. The program supports them and trains them for different jobs. It also helps them to develop good skills like punctuality and problem solving. They get short assignments and get feedback and support along the way. What's cool is that when they are done, it really builds up their resume so they have experience to draw upon when applying to other jobs. My sister did this program. She works full time now in a hospital. Very proud of her. Will she be 100% self sufficient? No, that's not within her ability. She will probably not want to get married/have kids either. She still lives with my parents and someday, she will probably live with me when they are too old or gone. She will continue to work but she needs to someone to oversee finances and such. She can do her daily chores for herself just fine. I have no idea what sort of level of functionality your son's psychiatrist/doctors think he may be capable of. Have they said anything to you? Perhaps they may think he can get a job with the right training but will be living with you for the long term. What will happen when you're gone? I don't know, but there are options out there. I want to stay with my sister but I know she'd be okay even if I didn't and even if my parents were gone. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 My son is very limited in executive function. The ability to finish a task unless redirected . He also is extremely limited by his working memory. And working memory is ability to learn a skill and manipulate it. link removed he is very impaired in his working memory. Here are his display disabilities. link removed The psychologist said he will only work in a niche sector that he's very interested in otherwise he doesn't foresee him being cooperative. Also that yes ,he will be self-sufficient with support one day but probably around 35 or 40. However ,even with those pretty stark disabilities he's made the honour roll so he could prove the psychologist wrong too. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 link removed That is his diagnosis of Asperger's. He gets by basically on his rote memory. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Is he on any medications or anything? I know both my sibs are on stuff, particularly my sister for cognitive function. Here is what I'm wondering, what does your son think about the future? How does he envision his life? How does he think he'll make his living someday? My sister was always told she was going to work full time. Does she like it? Well, she has her days when she definitely doesn't. But it was pounded into her head from early on that there would never be another choice. She HAD to work like everyone else and we didn't care if other autistic kids got to go into a home and do nothing, she was not allowed to do that. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 Is he on any medications or anything? I know both my sibs are on stuff, particularly my sister for cognitive function. Here is what I'm wondering, what does your son think about the future? How does he envision his life? How does he think he'll make his living someday? My sister was always told she was going to work full time. Does she like it? Well, she has her days when she definitely doesn't. But it was pounded into her head from early on that there would never be another choice. She HAD to work like everyone else and we didn't care if other autistic kids got to go into a home and do nothing, she was not allowed to do that. No, he is not on any medication. I have always told him he can do anything he wants. He definitely wants to work and be independent. He wants to be an animator for Nintendo . Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Has his psychiatrist suggested any medications? Maybe they would help, I don't know. To be honest, I don't think I've ever met an autistic child who wasn't on some kind of medication to help with something. My sibs are a mess without their meds and absolutely must take them. Both of my sibs were aware that they would have to work full time. In what, up to them. I think my sister said she wanted to be a vet years ago and my mom said nothing but did try to steer her more toward the "vet tech" option, which would be a good job for her, perhaps in the future. They always knew they would have to work full time. My sister knew she would be supported but she couldn't sit at home. She was prodded into Project Search and it was a good choice for her. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 Has his psychiatrist suggested any medications? Maybe they would help, I don't know. To be honest, I don't think I've ever met an autistic child who wasn't on some kind of medication to help with something. My sibs are a mess without their meds and absolutely must take them. Both of my sibs were aware that they would have to work full time. In what, up to them. I think my sister said she wanted to be a vet years ago and my mom said nothing but did try to steer her more toward the "vet tech" option, which would be a good job for her, perhaps in the future. They always knew they would have to work full time. My sister knew she would be supported but she couldn't sit at home. She was prodded into Project Search and it was a good choice for her. The psychologist said he has no psychological issue that requires medicating. He said he has mild separation anxiety but right now it does not need medicating or treatment. He is very medication resistant though since being medicated for ADHD for 6 years when he was very young. But , yes he definitely wants to be a working independent person. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 I wonder if there is a way to get him to see that work isn't always going to be fun and it's highly unlikely that he will be able to work in his niche interest(s) right away. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 I think for him to understand that someone needs to give him a chance to have a job . He has applied but nothing yet. Unfortunately ,we live in a really depressed area with almost no jobs. When I told him how many hours I had to work yesterday ,he went wow ,that's gross. Lol. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 What sort of places has he applied to? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 What sort of places has he applied to? He has applied to Walmart ,grocery stores that kind of thing. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 [video=youtube_share;c_ETWtD1_Dk] ] Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 [video=youtube_share;YtvP5A5OHpU] ] Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 [video=youtube_share;ECU8y5i7osY] ] Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 12, 2015 Author Share Posted July 12, 2015 [video=youtube_share;fJ1I0HQlaDA] ] Very much my son. He is VERY intense about his rules for the way things work. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 12, 2015 Author Share Posted July 12, 2015 [video=youtube_share;ulobaiwV8N4] ] Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 My son's stimms include: Pacing Watching things spin Spinning himself when he was little Hand flapping.. He would hold his arm out to his side and flap his hands when he wanted attention Now he pretty much only hand flaps when he's agitated Chewing Body rigidity Link to comment
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