Dreams

[Aeropro]

I figured I'd make a thread about this as I know a lot of us, though at different stages of healing, have these nagging dreams that seem to dampen our progress. How many of you have had vivid, frequent dreams of your ex? I have had quite a few and am at the three week stage of being single after the break-up (10 days of NC - woohoo!).

 

I would say I have dreamt of her or had dreams with her in it during all except three or four nights post-breakup. Waking up, I feel overwhelmed, pressured, and agonizingly regretful of everything that has happened. By the time I am driving to work, however, the pain has lifted and I am more realistic again. It is an annoying regiment to have, but I've done research and have found that it is somewhat normal.

 

The content of the dreams have been as such (I wrote them down and looked up their meanings online - I will only list a few):

 

Week 1

1) We're still together and happy doing the things we love (Meaning - clinging on to something. Not wanting to let go.)

2) We're not together and I see her having fun with other people (Meaning - mentally accepting the situation, but still not wanting to let go of her.)

 

Week 2

1) Not together and I am spying on her. I showed up to her apartment and all of the people I dislike and feel ruined our relationship are there together. I am the outsider (Meaning - curious of what she is doing. Still want her in my life. Want to save things, but feel hated and an outcast.)

 

Week 3

1) She and I are not together to start the dream, though she is with me and my family. Towards the end of the dream, she becomes loving to me again and keeps nodding her head as if implying acceptance and her wanting to return (Meaning - mentally accepting that she is not with me, but wanting her to realize she's made a mistake and come back to me).

 

The dreams, obviously, imply that I still have a lot of work to do. I was curious as to if any of you have had similar dreams? If so, do you have any advice to make waking up a bit easier?

 

Thanks.

[faraday]

I had a dream last night about taking a nap. I think I'm really tired lol.

 

As for the relationship/break up dreams? They leave you unsettled, startled...it's not a good feeling. I don't know how to make waking up the to them easier....but try not to think about your ex before you go to bed...it might help you to not dream about her as often.

[Clinton]

Dreams suck but they do fade in time. It just takes a while. I still occasionally dream of my ex and it's been 5 years now. They don't hurt like they used to though.

[No1]

Dreams mean absolutely nothing... dont think about it too much

[t1lersm0m1]

I don't dream about guys when I'm dating them. Then bam, we break up, and in comes the regular dreams! I'm 5 months post break up, almost 4 months NC, and still (although much more infrequently) dream about the most recent ex.

 

Also, a friend and I broke up. Our friendship was really one sided. She made it sound through email like she was willing to try harder, then when we met up for lunch I felt blindsided. I think in hindsight (lunch happened a month ago) the more she thought about things I said in my email (which was a very loving email) she got angry and her anger came out in the lunch. I dreampt (sp?) about her ALL that week. It was horrible. We left the lunch realizing our friendship was beyond repair. It still makes me sad as I really loved her and thought we were going to the lunch to more forward, not end things.

 

The dreams suck, but with time, they do pass. And the reason we dream about them is because they are on our mind so much when we are awake.

[Aeropro]

Thanks for the feedback guys. I think dreams are a pain because of that light hope we all kind of cling on to shortly after a break up - the hope of reconciliation and everything being a big prank or something, haha. When we dream, we have a brief euphoria of everything being okay, then bam. We wake up and reality sets in. Fortunately I still feel great about myself and the things I am looking forward in accomplishing by myself. As long as I keep doing that I know that I will be fine.

[NICEMAN99]

oh stupids dreams...i used to sleep like a baby....now i wake up 2 or 3 times a night...

had a couples of dreams on which i woke up almost crying...they where so vivid.

i had one where i found my self all of a sudden in the middle of a lake and had to run fast before the water flooded the whole place...and when i got out of the lake i found my self on a very big and tall building with no fences and lost my balance and started crying due ...to me not liking heights...

in none of my dreams we are together ...im into my 7 week and have had little contact the past 2 weeks...and none in the last week.

[sky09]

of course, you'll dream about them, if that's all you think about. especially before going to bed. one dream that i had, that stands out, was her getting driven away in a car that i was running after... haven't had any dreams this week. phew.

[Aeropro]

Same thing this morning. I spent yesterday evening hanging out with friends and then playing tennis with my brother/hanging out with his girlfriend. Not a trace of her crossed my mind... I fell asleep nearly instantly - then bam. The dream had her in it. While she wasn't in the entire dream, towards the end of it when I got back into my car she was in there with the setting of me trying to salvage the relationship before I knew there was another person she was seeing (basically it was 5 weeks ago).

 

Of course now I feel a bit bleh about it, but I know that will change in a few hours. *shrug*

[janut1]

I don't dream much about my X BF, but I did last night. I was at a sports event and he was there too because he drove a bus full of people to the event. We tried to avoid each other, but then were sitting on the couch with some people and I said something and he laughed. We started chatting like everything was okay, teasing and laughing like we used to, then he said, I should of never left you, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Then he asked if I would consider getting back together. The other person on the couch, I think it was my son said, but what about your new girlfriend? He said, things aren't working out for us. So we hugged, but I had this weird feeling like, do I really want to go back to him? I woke up and went that was weird!

 

I don't sleep well lately either. I wake up at 5am and my minds starts going and I cannot get back to sleep. I really hate that and hope it stops soon.