boniver88 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 hello everyone, i have a question so i was hoping outsiders opinion could help. anyway, long story short: i met a really sweet girl 2 months ago and we hit it off really quickly. 3 weeks into the relationship and spending a lot of time together i said "i love you" because i genuinely felt that way and she said it back (actually she wanted to say it first, or so she says). also, she said some pretty big things, met her parents and friends and so on which actually gave me courage to open myself to her more. and she is a giver type to be honest. anyway, last night we were on the phone and i said "i love you so much" and she dropped "how can you, you know me only for two months?" which left me feeling kinda weird. after telling her what i love about her she said she's just not comfortable with those words right now which is fine by me though she said "i love you" and "i love you too" on previous occasions. so what do you guys make of all this? is she changing her opinion or might actually doubt my feelings? Link to comment
Mooning Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I don't think she doubts your feelings. It sounds like she feels it's too early to have such deep feelings. Before when you both said "I love you" to each other, she might have regarded it as a cute thing that's not necessarily serious, but now she's come to realise that you truly do love her a lot so she wants to slow things down a bit. It's weird because girls are normally the ones who do want to feel loved and cherished (speaking as one). Perhaps she's not looking for a serious relationship right now. You should talk to her about it. Link to comment
boniver88 Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 I don't think she doubts your feelings. It sounds like she feels it's too early to have such deep feelings. Before when you both said "I love you" to each other, she might have regarded it as a cute thing that's not necessarily serious, but now she's come to realise that you truly do love her a lot so she wants to slow things down a bit. It's weird because girls are normally the ones who do want to feel loved and cherished (speaking as one). Perhaps she's not looking for a serious relationship right now. You should talk to her about it. well one of those big things she said to me is that she doesn't want to let me go and that she always wants to be mine, so...i dunno. Link to comment
Mooning Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 well one of those big things she said to me is that she doesn't want to let me go and that she always wants to be mine, so...i dunno. It wasn't fair for her to lead you on if she's now revealing that she doesn't want things to get too serious Sometimes people say things 'in the moment' which can be confirmed to be true or not with what they say afterwards when they're serious. In this case it seems she was exaggerating. But this is only my opinion- I don't know her myself remember Link to comment
Fudgie Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Just a guess but maybe the "so much" part on the "I love you so much" put her off. Some girls regard saying "I love you" as cute and customary and part of a relationship and deeper feelings for them may come later. Link to comment
boniver88 Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 i guess i'll just shut up from now on and see where i/we will go from here. Link to comment
missmarple Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I think she's changing her opinion. Once you say 'I love you', you can't just take it back. I'd be furious if I were you. Link to comment
boniver88 Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 could it be that she is just challenging my feelings? Link to comment
Fudgie Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 could it be that she is just challenging my feelings? This came to mind as well. Sort of like a "why do you love me" but without actually asking that. She may be looking for validation or reassurance. I never got the feeling that she is trying to "take it back". Link to comment
boniver88 Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 This came to mind as well. Sort of like a "why do you love me" but without actually asking that. She may be looking for validation or reassurance. I never got the feeling that she is trying to "take it back". i was thinking of that actually. i mean, most of the time we might regard ourselves as flawed, insecure, not good enough and everything that goes along that line but we rarely stop and think about that the person accross might have exact those feelings and thoughts. on topic never gone out and had a bad time. Link to comment
boniver88 Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 in addition to everything posted e.g.: two weeks-ish into relationship i said something like "i can't go on a vacation due to my job this year" (casual convo) and she said like "don't worry, we'll go together next year" (which was to me really super sweet thing to hear). so with that in mind could it really be she actually asked "why do you love me?" or "how come that you love me?" #insecurity Link to comment
missmarple Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 so with that in mind could it really be she actually asked "why do you love me?" or "how come that you love me?" #insecurity It could be...but what I would have told her if I were you is 'well, you had said you loved me at 3 weeks, how could you, you only knew me for 3 weeks!' Link to comment
boniver88 Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 or even better: how can you plan a vacation with someone you know for two weeks? but anyway,i might be over-analytical with this one though i would like to see all angles of it. Link to comment
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