rabbit lou Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 hi all, i have been dating a girl for the past 7 months. things has been moving so fast and yes it was all great till marriage talk been brought up by her parent. she is a nice girl and we click instantly, and i was there for her for the past 6 months where she was jobless. last month she finally got a job and then when all has changed. let me make it short, yes im willing and happily marry her until she and her parent requested me to get a house to show how committed i am. i agreed without thinking further. fight arise whenever we seek or look for house as she requested to buy a 400k house which i cant even afford, plus she said tht she not willing to buy a house together using both names because scared things might not work out. i explain to her that i can afford a house below 250k, its small but good enough to build a home for family. i dont want to burden myself with debts as i believe there are lots of expenses will come in future after getting married. i already have a car loan and paying off credit card. i have been transparent to her bout all my expenses and what im earning per month. things has been changed drastically for the past week, no text, less calls, tone of voice has changed and apparently she now are busy with her life and refuse to meet regularly. tonite we went out as normal and i ask her what exactly goin on with our relationship. she told that she wants to be safe guarding her heart and cant let anyone to break it. she want to do her own things and this is how its gonna be from now on.. this really confused me at a moment and i ask her what does she really mean and the topic of getting house came. apparently she says she cannot live in a 250k apartment which is not her class/league and she cannot be seen low by socially and not up to her standards. this is a huge blow for me since both of us came from a middle class family. and now she asking me what the status of our relationship since i cant fulfill her needs. im just confused, i really dont know what to do.. i cant even afford a 400k apartment, even banks also wont approve the loan which she already knew.. personally, i believe in Christian marriage vows and isnt marriage supposed to be with your spouse in good and bad times? in poor and rich? is it wrong to start a family in a small apartment lets say around 850 square feet? even my manager and his wife with their newborn living happily in the same apartment i saw for 250k. i believe in love, but if a love is measured by how big the house that im gonna buy, then i feel something is not right.. im a professional in IT field in a big MNC company and earning twice as much her, but i dont feel right to dump all my salary to house loan debts and end up living miserably.. i need to have savings and prepare all the stuff need to take care for the family im goin to build, but she doesnt seems to understand this at all.. Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Slow down....you've been seeing one another 7 months, 6 of which she was unemployed, but she refuses to open her heart to you if you don't buy a 400K house? Is this behaviour normal in your country? I'm asking because I'm unaware. Link to comment
rabbit lou Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 this is not a normal behaviour, in fact even in any country in this world.. before we even get into serious relationship i told her that im not a rich man, i cant afford luxury stuff like others but what i have i will give.. she even told me she will love me no matter what happens.. both of us promise to be true to each other Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 She is looking for a meal ticket, not a husband. Run Rabbit, Run. Link to comment
rabbit lou Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 im really confused.. her parents were nice to me, she is a great girl.. for a moment i thought i found the one, for a moment i feel connected to everyone at her home till this issue arise..i do love her, love her very much but tonite was like taking a stab from a samurai sword Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 And before they bleed you dry ---- realized this "her parents were nice, she is great" is an ACT. Link to comment
rabbit lou Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 its really sad how she really judge me by things/objects rather than see how much i love her.. Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Go back and reread your post as if someone else had written it, and I think logic will prevail. Sorry this is happening to you. At least you've only got 7 months invested . . . Feel better soon. Link to comment
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