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I'm the biggest idiot ever... :/

nfperception

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Man with Dog Contributor

Man with Dog

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Apart from all the general stuff about recovering after a break-up, I cannot really say much. I know how you feel, having had 2 big break-ups in my life. I don't think the age of the new "bird" is really relevant. It wouldn't make any difference whether she was older or younger, it would still hurt anyway.

 

You're not the biggest idiot ever. I saw many signs but my head told my heart I was just being paranoid and there was nothing to worry about but there was. The cliche is that we are always the last to know.

 

You can post about how you feel, as you'll get a lot of understanding here but perhaps we need a bit more information.

 

There IS life after a break-up but not immediately afterwards when things are very raw.

 

Good luck and take care.

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fireflies Enthusiast

fireflies

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{{{nfperception}}}

 

Do yourself a favor and block him on Facebook. As long as you're following him on social media, you're not giving your heart the space and time it needs to heal.

 

Write down everything he's missing out on by not being with you. Then write down everything you have to gain by not having him in your life. The two will help you see who the real idiot is.

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nfperception Enthusiast

nfperception

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I've always wanted to read the bible with him, but he said that he couldn't because of his dyslexia, but he's doing it with her...

 

Why is he doing what I asked of him with her, and not me?

 

He smokes cigarettes, and has a D.U.I., she's not old enough to drink. He asked me out to a bar once, I didn't go, but he can't do that with her.

 

I told him that I would be there for him while he went to school... and he broke up with me because he didn't want a relationship with anyone.

 

Everyone at Church is supporting their relationship, and I want to continue going to that Church.

 

My cousin got into a dunbugee accident on Saturday. Broke two of her fingers.

 

My friend has been sick for a week, and needed blood tests done.

 

My relationship with my whole family including my mother is getting worse and worse.

 

I don't know how much more I can handle. I believe in God, and that's all I'm relying on.

 

Please don't take me asking this as me wanting him back, but can people get back together after something like this situation?

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ElleAndrette Newbie

ElleAndrette

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There is always a chance for reconciliation, but under certain circumstances. The main one being, both persons have to be willing and wanting to try to make it work. With what you've disclosed, it seems as if only one of you are feeling this way. And even though I don't know you at all, I feel confident in saying that you're probably not wanting him back for the right reasons. In fact, it may not be him you want, but instead it's the relationship that you're afraid to let go of.

It appears as if you're dealing with a lot right now, and still this guy has broken up with you and OPENly started dating someone else. Anyone who cares for a person would have the decency to 1. Tell the truth about their feelings and intentions, and 2. Show enough respect to not contribute to your hurt or pain. Regardless of how he feels, it's obvious that he's moved on and is only concerned with his happiness. To be blunt but truthful, he isn't wrong for doing so. Maybe he was a jerk for lying to you, but he has the right to be and make himself happy. And so do you.

You have to focus on what's really important right now. A week from now, a month from now, a year from now, ask yourself, Will He Even Matter? Probably not. However, a disconnected relationship with your family will. Not being there fully supporting a friend while they're sick or even worse losing them will. Guys come and go. Once the right one comes along and as long as you're doing the right things, you won't have to worry about issues like this. Focus on yourself and making yourself the best person you can be for the right person. Trust me, loving yourself if far greater than receiving love from anyone else.

Heartbreak is the risk we take when getting into a relationship; however, pain is not a symptom of love. Don't settle.

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Clinton Contributor

Clinton

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Stop following their relationship, it's none if your business and unhealthy for you

Go no contact and work on healing yourself. You can't control another person's wants or desires

People do get back together, but not that frequently. Waiting around for that to happen is a recipe for misery.

Live your life with the idea he won't be back. Work on yourself and your healing.

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Man with Dog Contributor

Man with Dog

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Sorry, I don't know what a DUI is. Maybe it's because I'm from the UK. Quite frankly I'm appalled that the church is supporting their relationship. I don't know whether you were married or not but it is wrong for them to support someone who was probably cheating on you. I've been in a similar situation myself where mutual friends supported the "new couple" instead of the dumpee. I know you wish to continue going to the same church but really it is necessary to avoid any sort of contact with him whatsoever. I know that your instinct is to stand your ground and you have the moral justification but I'm afraid that will lead to more hurt. Trust me, I know.

 

It's also annoying that other cr@p is going on in your life right now when you don't need it. All I can say is that luck does come on "clumps" of good and bad and you are getting all the bad ones at once. I sincerely wish things were better. Good lcuk.

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Jennifer89 Enthusiast

Jennifer89

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It sounds to me like he wants to play the field. He does want to date, but he doesn't want to date someone serious and he knows you are. Perhaps this 19 year old is not expecting as much from him, or she is and he'll dump her too. Let him go for now. If, in a few months or years, he is ready and you are single, you can date again. Today you have too many hurt feelings to date, and he's not ready for you yet. Move on to someone who is ready.

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janut1 Proficient

janut1

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Im sorry you are going through this now. I would also recommend that you find another church for two reasons. You will not be able to avoid seeing him and her and two, if the church supports their relationship, that church does not sound like a healthy place to be.

 

Also, please STOP following him on all social media - been there done that and it is really NOT a good idea.

 

Maybe you can focus on how to improve your relationship with your parents now and focus on that.

 

This guy does not sound healthy at all and like others have said, why would you want to be with someone who pulls a knife on you, even if it is teasing and someone who would just leave you for someone else without a thought? As someone else told me here on ENA -Time to work on yourself and your self esteem so when you do start dating again you will be able to recognize the unhealthy men quickly and kick them to curb.

 

Take care of yourself. ((hugs))

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