Why does my ex do this to me?

[Unsurewhat2do]

3 years ago I met my ex boyfriend and we ended it on mutual terms and we went our separate ways. A year to the day we met he contacted me and said he wants to give "us" another try. So I agreed and he ended up going up to work (he works for his own company doing trenching for other business) We never saw each other for a month all we did is talk on the phone, so I told him that it wasn't what I wanted in a relationship. Then every following year he has contacted me, we got together for coffee and dinner every night for a few days and then I wouldn't hear from him, but I would also get over him right when he would waltz back into my life. I'm not sure what to do, if I should emotionally just not feed into our communications or if I should ask him why it's happening and if he realizes how much it messes with my head.

[mhowe]

Stop answering his calls. Fairly simple.

[reinventmyself]

. .best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

I wouldn't allow someone to pop in and out of my life like that.

It's confusing, disappointing and hurtful.

[jjkk]

yep like mhowe said, don't answer calls, texts, emails, whatever else. Be done. You don't need to go through this on a yearly basis.

[HONEYHONEY]

Why does my ex do this to me?.

 

Because you allow him to

[ParisPaulette]

First off, he doesn't care what he does to you, this is all about him. Not you. Because anyone wanting a relationship with you doesn't pull the whole "hi and bye" game on you whenever it suits them. Second, it's up to you, not him, to refuse to get sucked back into it all. He doesn't force you to answer his calls and agree to meet and get sucked back into it all--you do that to yourself.

 

You don't like what happens when he contacts you? Stop answering. Tell him, don't ask him, that it's over then hang up and block and delete him. Ignore any further attempts at contact. He will never do anything, but what he's already done a thousand times, so stop with the self-deception and get past it already or be fine with him drifting in and out of your life and never committing. Which by the way, he knows he doesn't have to do anyways since whenever he pops up and says jump your only response is "how high?" Just stop it. Yes, it really is that simple unless you're getting something out of this ridiculous merry-go-round too.

[weathergirl]

Curious....do you have sex with him during these brief yearly excursions?

[Unsurewhat2do]

No because I don't want him to think that he can just take that from me

[HeartGoesOn]

He knows he can drop in whenever the mood strikes, as well as at his own leisure. This is an ideal set-up for him, and he'll continue to play this out as long as you allow it. Where's the bargain here?

 

Respecting yourself does wonders for your self-esteem...give it a try.

[Stay_home]

Get a new phone number and don't give the new number to him. Problem solved.