Girlfriend dumped me and left me confused...please help!

[clk356]

I was in my first same sex relationship and we were really happy together, she pursued me and we both ended up falling in love.

 

We moved in together and things were so good, we talked about our future and she said how happy and in love she was. Things went sour when 2 relatives died in the space of a couple of months and she started to push me away and go out all the time and sometimes not come home. This obviously caused arguments and she seemed to distance herself from me.

 

She broke up one night and went to stay at her uncles for space, she came back and said how much she loved and missed me and wanted to be with me. We were fine for a few weeks then she slipped back and then broke up with me again. She went to stay at her friends as she said seeing me was confusing as she wanted to be close still.

 

Next thing she backs off completely,we work together and so it made things difficult. Her ex contacted me and told me to leave her alone as they were making a go of it again! I was heartbroken as her ex had cheated on her more than once, she wasn't avery nice person and was twice my exes age and threw money at her all the time.

 

I feel so confused as I would still like to believe that she did feel strongly for me but now she won't contact me at all, I have text a couple of times but got nothing at all back, she has taken sick leave from work. It may be either to avoid me or because her new girlfriend doesn't want her round me!

 

I am so hurt and confused and I don't understand and I am finding it hard to move on....she broke up with her ex because she was controlling, cheated and she was no longer attracted to her.

 

It has also raised issues around my sexuality...please help

[chr8st8na]

if this is your first same sex relationship i think you just got a taste of the gay community.

[sk22545]

if this is your first same sex relationship i think you just got a taste of the gay community.

 

I don't know what this is supposed to mean, but it is not helpful in the slightest.

 

Your ex-girlfriend sounds like an unstable trainwreck and you are better off letting her go. You deserve someone who will be devoted to you.

[clk356]

if this is your first same sex relationship i think you just got a taste of the gay community.

 

I really don't know what that is supposed to mean, I came on here for advice.

 

I don't understand why she did it and left for a woman twice her age that she isn't attracted to and isn't in love with and who cheated on her. Plus why cut all ties with me when I did nothing wrong?

[lerenard]

What kind of advice are you seeking here? Why she did it or what should you do?

 

First of all, you will never know why exactly she went back to her ex, and why exactly she broke up with you. Because she told you she loved you and she disliked her ex, but it turns out to be the other way around.

What you should do though is move on, if you feel like this is hard for you get some counselling, as this was your first experience like this you may need some help.

 

If it got you into a situation where her ex (that she told you she hated) calls you and threatens you basically - you should stay away from her, from both of them. From her behavior she also sound like a lot of trouble, and like someone really immature. Get her off your mind, you deserve better.

[mhowe]

Well, she clearly IS attracted to her ex, because she was once in a relationship with her.

As to the age factor, again --- having suffered losses due to death, maybe she is looking for a maternal figure at this time.

As to why cut ties to you --- it would appear her ex, with whom she has united again, has asked her to.

 

I think she is going through a rough patch and is seeking solace. Sadly, she isn't seeking it from you.