Was it one big lie?

[niceandslow]

To keep this short and to the point, how do I stop questioning if any of the relationship was real? If he was ever being real and genuine? If he feigned interest or really did like me? I know what I felt was sincere and I meant everything I said to him. I guess I'm trying to legitimize my own feelings.

[SooSad33]

Not sure? Can you elaborate more?

 

If you two were together a long time, usually yes, they do have those feelings.

[AutumnBorn]

It doesn't matter if his feeling were real and genuine - yours were, so it was real. You don't have to find a way to legitimize your feelings. They are legitimate simply because you feel them. Unless you know he's a sociopath, you must accept your memories, his actions and words as true. But feelings do change, thank God. I'd hate to still be crushing on Jordan Small from second grade at Oak Terrace Grade School.

[3Tears]

If it was long term, 1+ years, yes I would think it was real.

[kittykatt2214]

I know what you mean. I've been there. But fact of the matter is, it was real to you and now it's over, so does it matter? I thought of all the things he said and done and thought maybe it was all lies, look how we ended up, but I decided just not to harp on it. If you didn't get anything else out of it, it was a learning experience. Keep your head up dear, at least you k own you were real regardless.

[star554]

Oh god... do I know that feeling. I ask myself that everyday. I tend to remind myself that "It was real because you felt it." Anyways, hang in there. This will pass

[No1]

Does it really matter? Or are you just torturing yourself asking questions that you will never find the answer to? It doesnt matter anymore. Let it go..

[niceandslow]

At the end of the day, no it doesn't really matter. I know I felt it. I guess I just don't want to be the only one that really felt it but that doesn't matter either.

[janut1]

Someone here told me that a lot of the things I was questioning is... was it real? Did he love me? Did I mean anything to him? And of course I did mean something to him at one time. He made the effort to be with me, just as much as I did if not MORE. He was the pursuer in our relationship. Knowing that made me feel a bit better. I think we twist in the wind thinking that we didn't matter to them but for most of the longer term relationship, we did at one time. I know I felt it and meant it when I said I love and cared for him and I gave him a lot, maybe too much actually. I know my side of the street is pretty darn clean, so I have to realize that I was capable and willing to be in a healthy relationship, but he wasn't.

[catfeeder]

Did the guy come on heavy until you had sex with him?

[niceandslow]

I know my side of the street is pretty darn clean, so I have to realize that I was capable and willing to be in a healthy relationship, but he wasn't.

 

This is what I need to tell myself. I can't blame myself for anything. I was looking for a mutually fulfilling and healthy relationship.

[niceandslow]

No, he became more intense after we had sex.

[catfeeder]

No, he became more intense after we had sex.

 

For how long?

[niceandslow]

Up until he told me he loved me. It was for several weeks with the intensity. He was moving very fast.

[janut1]

Up until he told me he loved me. It was for several weeks with the intensity. He was moving very fast.

 

This sounds a lot like my X! When did he end his last relationship before you?

[3Tears]

When someone rushes you into things in a relationship or trying to GET in a relationship with you its because they're really rebounding, IMO.

[niceandslow]

This sounds a lot like my X! When did he end his last relationship before you?

 

His last relationship was over a year ago but he said he had been trying online dating since then.