been apart longer than we were together and i'm still trying to heal.

[deejay74]

so, the thing i was hoping wouldn't happen has happened. i realized the other day that my ex and i actually have been apart longer than we were together. i thought we were together for 10 months, but it's actually 9 months. even if we were together for 10 months, we've still been apart longer than we were together.

 

and here i am, still not over everything and i'm upset about that. i had a feeling this would happen and i don't think it's a self fulfilling prophecy, i just think i was extremely hurt and i didn't implement strict NC from the get go. and, i know that us trying to reconcile back in april and part of may set me back too.

 

when i think about the fact that we have been apart longer than we've been together, it saddens and upsets me. i know that everyone heals at their own pace but i honestly felt that by now, i would be over her. it's been over 2 months of strict NC. i thought it would get easier as time goes on but it's gotten a little worse since my birthday last saturday. today is the best day since then. i am also hoping that it gets worse before it gets better.

 

anyway, i have been coming to ENA a lot since September right after the BU but I think this may be the last post i will make regarding my BU. i hope to come back here some day to share my experience with completely moving on but i fear it's going to take a lot longer than i want it to.

 

i really appreciate all the support and responses i've gotten in the past 10 months. so thank you to everyone who has responded to my threads.

 

it's scary for me to think that i'm still healing. i still wonder about my ex but i always try to tell myself that her life doesn't matter to me anymore but that only works for a little while. i think about her every day and i have a lot of guilt for things that went down between us after the break up. i am also very lonely.

 

i just needed to vent today. thanks for reading.

[Hypa22]

it doesn't matter how long you were together. it sounds wrong to say that but it's the total truth. i started posting here four YEARS ago and i'm still not over it (granted we're in semi-regular contact so that makes it work - GO NO CONTACT STAT).

 

And if you want to feel better - i heard that Mama Phillips from the Mamas and the Papas was married to Dennis Hopper for something like 2 weeks in the 70s and never actually got over it.

 

I think on the one hand it is true that people never actually get over others they really cared for, while on the other hand until you meet the next person the former won't entirely go away. all i can say is KEEP TRYING! things will get better if you just stay social, GO NO CONTACT, and focus on other things.

 

Edit: Turns out the Phillips-Hopper thing was 8 days. 8 DAYS! and they were the "happiest days of her life"

[pfbsurf]

We get addicted to our misery. its easier than changing and improving.

 

I would say that 10 months in, it is not normal to still be attached that way. Good for you if you plan to move on from this site.

It is not helping you. If you went to a therapist and 10 months in you were still complaining about the same problems, you would change therapists or stop therapy altogether.

 

I am guilty of this too, but i'm only 7 weeks in. I"m lining up dates, forcing myself to get out in the world, and it is not easy or fun. I understand that "missing" my ex is not really the issue, it is unhappiness with other things in my life and she is an easy excuse. I'm frankly afraid of doing the hard work.

 

You have to decide whether you want to change or whether you want to get past your addiction.

 

I'd say get off this site. I'll be right behind you.

[Marlee]

The problem is that letting go and moving on means letting go and moving on from this person in which one has invested so much emotion. Even if this person has let go of you ages ago. That's why it's so difficult I think. Cause you're afraid of never feeling that way for someone else again. And this is exactly the reason why you can't feel anything for anyone else. It's a catch 22.

[jul-els]

My last relationship lasted 2 & 1/2 years. Took me 6 years to get over it. The more you feel, the longer you heal. It's worth it as far as I'm concerned. When I decide to love someone I'm going to do it all the way or not at all. Anything else would be selling myself short, as far as I'm concerned. But, to each their own.

[Hypa22]

also - whatever you do, don't feel bad / embarrassed that it isn't normal - it's the WORST POSSIBLE REACTION to have to something like this, plus it's total BS because most people need to deal with it.

Rather, just think about as one of the many, MANY things you just have to grow out of, like a bad habit or something. Feeling crappy about it is a bit more painful of a habit than most, but these things are NORMAL.

[pfbsurf]

The problem is that letting go and moving on means letting go and moving on from this person in which one has invested so much emotion. Even if this person has let go of you ages ago. That's why it's so difficult I think. Cause you're afraid of never feeling that way for someone else again. And this is exactly the reason why you can't feel anything for anyone else. It's a catch 22.

 

Hold the phone. You should NOT be attached to someone for 10 months that you dated for 9 months. Sorry. That is unhealthy and has nothing to do with the other person.

 

I was in a 19 year relationship with someone I was very much in love with. It took me a year or so, can't really remember now.

 

All of this is very easy - time plus effort. Or it is very difficult. Time plus brooding/wallowing.

 

Take your pick.

[pfbsurf]

My sister, who is in her 50s now, and single, and never married still talks about the guy she dated for two years in her 20s.

 

for a while, she was a catch.

 

Its sad. At some point we give up and marry our past. Have fun with that.

 

I know you guys are ok with the slow train, but life is too short and i'm not getting any younger.

 

OP, get off this site. Put an action plan in place- i'll help you. pm me and we'll tackle this together.

[Hypa22]

Hold the phone. You should NOT be attached to someone for 10 months that you dated for 9 months. Sorry. That is unhealthy and has nothing to do with the other person.

 

I was in a 19 year relationship with someone I was very much in love with. It took me a year or so, can't really remember now.

 

All of this is very easy - time plus effort. Or it is very difficult. Time plus brooding/wallowing.

 

Take your pick.

 

Being together with someone for 19 years is CONSIDERABLY different from being with them for 9 months, when the passion and mystery of a partner is still pretty strong. I have a friend who was with someone for ten years and was entirely relieved when they broke up - they'd known each other pretty thoroughly by that point, and lasted even when she cheated on him, and they'd run their course; it only took him about a year and a half to start dating again.

Dating people for a shorter amount of time is very different, especially to the person who has gotten dumped and felt strongly about it. When you're with someone longer, you simply know them better - are more "comfortable" with them - which, in many ways, can kill passion or excitement in a relationship. After 9 months, that haze is still there.

[deejay74]

it doesn't matter how long you were together. it sounds wrong to say that but it's the total truth. i started posting here four YEARS ago and i'm still not over it (granted we're in semi-regular contact so that makes it work - GO NO CONTACT STAT).

 

i wonder why it takes some of us to take a long time to heal after certain relationships. i've only had 1 other relationship that was so difficult to get over and it was the relationship that brought me to ENA first, back in 2006. it took me a year to get over 6 month relationship. after i got over everything, i promised myself that i would never take longer than the relationship lasted to heal, but here i am. i've been in a few relationships since that one back in 2006 and besides this last one, i was able to move on from those in what seems like a "normal" pace.

 

and, i have been in strict NC. like i mentioned, people say it gets easier as time goes on but for some reason, this past week and a half have been pretty bad.

 

We get addicted to our misery. its easier than changing and improving.

 

I would say that 10 months in, it is not normal to still be attached that way. Good for you if you plan to move on from this site.

It is not helping you. If you went to a therapist and 10 months in you were still complaining about the same problems, you would change therapists or stop therapy altogether.

 

I am guilty of this too, but i'm only 7 weeks in. I"m lining up dates, forcing myself to get out in the world, and it is not easy or fun. I understand that "missing" my ex is not really the issue, it is unhappiness with other things in my life and she is an easy excuse. I'm frankly afraid of doing the hard work.

 

You have to decide whether you want to change or whether you want to get past your addiction.

 

I'd say get off this site. I'll be right behind you.

 

you sound a lot like me. it's funny how we can get addicted to something that makes us feel so awful and we want to get out of our situation (or emotional state). i guess it's easier to not work hard than to actually force yourself to get better. but, i would say i have been trying. maybe i could try harder? i don't know. but i do know that i am exhausted mentally from all of this.

 

on the bright side, you're able to line up dates. my confidence has been so damaged that i can't even look women in the eyes sometimes when i talk to them. and i was on a few dating sites with no success. i am guessing that the way i come accross in my messages may be in a way that lacks confidence. ironically, my last to GFs i met on dating sites.

 

i wish i was able to find someone else, but i have the problem of comparing everyone to my ex, which i know is counter-productive but it's hard not to. there were a lot of characteristics of my ex that were unique and that i loved.

 

and, like you, i am also afraid of the hard work.

 

The problem is that letting go and moving on means letting go and moving on from this person in which one has invested so much emotion. Even if this person has let go of you ages ago. That's why it's so difficult I think. Cause you're afraid of never feeling that way for someone else again. And this is exactly the reason why you can't feel anything for anyone else. It's a catch 22.

 

yeah, i am afraid that i will never feel this way about someone else again. i just turned 40 and it doesn't help that i feel like i don't have much time left in my life to find someone to marry. yes, marriage is something that i really would like to have. i know that most marriages end in divorce, but i am willing to take a chance. however, don't get the wrong idea, i don't want to "settle" or rush into anything or to get married just to get married.

 

My last relationship lasted 2 & 1/2 years. Took me 6 years to get over it. The more you feel, the longer you heal. It's worth it as far as I'm concerned. When I decide to love someone I'm going to do it all the way or not at all. Anything else would be selling myself short, as far as I'm concerned. But, to each their own.

 

thanks for sharing your experience. i am also like you where i give it my all in relationships. perhaps that is a problem? now that i've been hurt so badly, i am afraid of trusting anyone to open up to because the pain is really awful.

[pfbsurf]

Being together with someone for 19 years is CONSIDERABLY different from being with them for 9 months, when the passion and mystery of a partner is still pretty strong. I have a friend who was with someone for ten years and was entirely relieved when they broke up - they'd known each other pretty thoroughly by that point, and lasted even when she cheated on him, and they'd run their course; it only took him about a year and a half to start dating again.

Dating people for a shorter amount of time is very different, especially to the person who has gotten dumped and felt strongly about it. When you're with someone longer, you simply know them better - are more "comfortable" with them - which, in many ways, can kill passion or excitement in a relationship. After 9 months, that haze is still there.

 

 

I understand. I'm dealing with my own 10 month R BU and trust me, its not easy or fun. And i agree 100% with your reasoning - lots of passion vs no passion in ST and LTR - had them both and neither is easy.

 

But I stand by my statement. All of this comes down to unhealthy attachment (me included). If we cannot move on, separate ourselves from our past, we are not growing - every day that we are stuck thinking about our ex is a day wasted. If shorter relationships are harder to move on from, and we understand that, all the more reason to DO THE HARD WORK and move on. Again, i am speaking from very personal experience as of right now.

 

Look, the cliches are true. They call it a break up because its broken. Any clinging to the past and our ex on ANY level means that we do not think highly enough of ourselves to feel that someone else, someone better for us, is out there. Period.

 

 

regardless of the circumstances, there is no debating the fact that OP should move on. ASAP.

 

I'm just trying to light a fire under him.

[deejay74]

Being together with someone for 19 years is CONSIDERABLY different from being with them for 9 months, when the passion and mystery of a partner is still pretty strong. I have a friend who was with someone for ten years and was entirely relieved when they broke up - they'd known each other pretty thoroughly by that point, and lasted even when she cheated on him, and they'd run their course; it only took him about a year and a half to start dating again.

Dating people for a shorter amount of time is very different, especially to the person who has gotten dumped and felt strongly about it. When you're with someone longer, you simply know them better - are more "comfortable" with them - which, in many ways, can kill passion or excitement in a relationship. After 9 months, that haze is still there.

 

i would tend to agree with this. as i said above, i came to ENA because i couldn't get over a 6 month relationship. it took a year.

 

if you don't know my back story i will try to sum it up very quickly, it's actually a long story. anyway, our relationship was very intense and moved fast. looking back, there were red flags. my ex said she loved me less than a month after dating her. i went with it, because we both said to each other life is short. i also never felt so intensely about someone else. a couple of months before it ended for good, we were shopping for engagement rings. then, we got an apartment together (which i am still in) but she left me 2 days before she was supposed to move in. over the course of the relationship, she broke up with me 5 times but i thought she was "the one" and that we could eventually overcome all of the issues we had with each other. getting dumped by her made me want her even more. i left a lot out but i hope that's enough to get the gist.

 

it's possible that we never got out of the honeymoon phase but i always like to think that we had moved past that.

 

i think if i wasn't so damn lonely it would help. i also feel like i've been damaged beyond repair by getting dumped. is that possible? i was already damaged goods (from my upbringing) but that's a whole different topic to be discussed. i feel like a different person after all of this. someone who i don't recognize sometimes and definitely someone who i don't want to be.

 

i just want to get back to the person i was before i met my ex. i just feel haunted by all of this. i feel like a cartoon character with a storm cloud over my head.

[pfbsurf]

If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.

 

Stop feeling so sorry for yourself.

 

Stop thinking that someone else is going to make you happy.

 

Stop idealizing your ex.

 

Stop drinking

 

Get off this site

 

Start reading

 

Start listenting to self help audiobooks

 

Start jogging

 

Take piano lessons

 

Or guitar

 

Stop complaining.

 

You obviously have attracted women before. you can do it again. you just have to be more focused on yourself and whatever skills and passions you have.

 

Assume that you will never meet another woman again, then figure out how you'd actually be happy and fulfilled. Do that stuff.

 

Then you'll probably meet someone.

 

Get off this site.

[Hypa22]

You can look on my previous posts here, but i pretty much went through the same exact things. he broke it off at the height of my feelings for him and as a consequence neither of us has ever gotten over the passionate aspect of our relationship, even though he does not love me. I've run the gamut of feeling like I absolutely cannot fall for anyone else, that i "belong" to him in a weird way, and that i'm not happy with myself and my personality.

 

BUT. I HAVE dated in the last few years. I've even pushed myself to hook up with someone (though not sleep with them - i'm still dealing with him / in contact, even if it is sporadic, and it just takes me back all the time). When you start dating and pretending and being more social, they might feel like someone else is doing them, but they are very helpful in moving you forward.

 

But yeah, breaking up in the honeymoon period SUCKS. And in my case I lost most of my friends too, and was really lonely, since they were mainly my ex's and i wasn't in my own city. In retrospect, however, I've been more productive than i've ever been without him - went back to school, started my career, etc. I feel like i'm not over him, like we broke up yesterday, but so much has happened, and if you do those things and then continue to reflect on it, it will get better.

[pfbsurf]

Wait a second.

 

Hypa... Deejay...

 

Deejay... Hypa

 

 

 

 

PFBSURF - MATCHMAKER!

 

Anyway, i get it. but both of you need to be more confident in yourselves. Go out and get your freak on!

 

Seriously. Everyone on this site is so morose and sad.

 

I think we all have to stop living in the past and go to the gym. alot.. And eat more leafy greens.

 

You know, the hard stuff.

 

And get off this site. but now i'm having too much fun.

[Hypa22]

 

I think we all have to stop living in the past and go to the gym. alot.. And eat more leafy greens.

 

don't know about this matchmaking thing BUT... that is some very good advice.

[jul-els]

thanks for sharing your experience. i am also like you where i give it my all in relationships. perhaps that is a problem? now that i've been hurt so badly, i am afraid of trusting anyone to open up to because the pain is really awful.

 

But that's the chance you take. Nothing's guaranteed and the good stuff requires effort. If you really want to love and be loved, the first thing you have to do is be very selective about whom you decide to give your heart to. Once you decide to, do so completely and without reservation. Anything less is short-changing yourself and the person you're with. If you lose, well then at least you gave it all you had. And you can always love again if you want to. It just might take you awhile to heal before you can do it again, but you can.

[deejay74]

If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.

 

Stop feeling so sorry for yourself.

 

Stop thinking that someone else is going to make you happy.

 

Stop idealizing your ex.

 

Stop drinking

 

Get off this site

 

Start reading

 

Start listenting to self help audiobooks

 

Start jogging

 

Take piano lessons

 

Or guitar

 

Stop complaining.

 

You obviously have attracted women before. you can do it again. you just have to be more focused on yourself and whatever skills and passions you have.

 

Assume that you will never meet another woman again, then figure out how you'd actually be happy and fulfilled. Do that stuff.

 

Then you'll probably meet someone.

 

Get off this site.

 

I really must sound like I am feeling sorry for myself. You're not the first to say that. I try not to come accross that way.

 

What I would like to clarify is, I am not sitting here doing NOTHING. I am seeing a therapist, I've tried meds (didn't work for me), going out with friends, trying a new hobby. The one thing I can say I haven't really done is exercising. I have a dog and walk him at least 2 times a day. Perhaps I am not doing enough. The thing about exercise is I am so tired when I get home from work. I have to feed/walk my dog and feed myself, which sometimes involves cooking and by that time, I crash on the couch. But again, maybe I could do MORE.

 

I'll be off here soon. I just want to get a chance to respond to everyone's replies.

 

Oh, and I have cut back on drinking A LOT.

 

You can look on my previous posts here, but i pretty much went through the same exact things. he broke it off at the height of my feelings for him and as a consequence neither of us has ever gotten over the passionate aspect of our relationship, even though he does not love me. I've run the gamut of feeling like I absolutely cannot fall for anyone else, that i "belong" to him in a weird way, and that i'm not happy with myself and my personality.

 

BUT. I HAVE dated in the last few years. I've even pushed myself to hook up with someone (though not sleep with them - i'm still dealing with him / in contact, even if it is sporadic, and it just takes me back all the time). When you start dating and pretending and being more social, they might feel like someone else is doing them, but they are very helpful in moving you forward.

 

But yeah, breaking up in the honeymoon period SUCKS. And in my case I lost most of my friends too, and was really lonely, since they were mainly my ex's and i wasn't in my own city. In retrospect, however, I've been more productive than i've ever been without him - went back to school, started my career, etc. I feel like i'm not over him, like we broke up yesterday, but so much has happened, and if you do those things and then continue to reflect on it, it will get better.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience. We do sound a lot alike. I *almost* lost some of my friends, because I cut back on hanging out and talking to them when I was with my ex. Big mistake.

 

The best thing that's happened since we broke up is I got a new job. I'm 3 weeks in and it's so much better than my last job. I am happy to be where I am. I'm also going to move out of this apartment in 2 months. Being here has been a constant trigger because I am constantly reminded that she's not here.

 

When I tell my full story to others, I'm told that I really dodged a bullet. I do not make it sound like I did nothing wrong. I know what mistakes I made during the relationship and have no problem admitting to them and being accountable for them too. But, inevitably I am always told that it's best we're not together. I believe them, but I have't accepted it yet. I am looking for the day when that has happened.

 

Wait a second.

 

Hypa... Deejay...

 

Deejay... Hypa

 

 

 

 

PFBSURF - MATCHMAKER!

 

Anyway, i get it. but both of you need to be more confident in yourselves. Go out and get your freak on!

 

Seriously. Everyone on this site is so morose and sad.

 

I think we all have to stop living in the past and go to the gym. alot.. And eat more leafy greens.

 

You know, the hard stuff.

 

And get off this site. but now i'm having too much fun.

 

Haha, you're funny. You never know!

 

But this section is morose and sad. I don't know if you've been to any other section on here but not all of them are depressing and sad.

 

But that's the chance you take. Nothing's guaranteed and the good stuff requires effort. If you really want to love and be loved, the first thing you have to do is be very selective about whom you decide to give your heart to. Once you decide to, do so completely and without reservation. Anything less is short-changing yourself and the person you're with. If you lose, well then at least you gave it all you had. And you can always love again if you want to. It just might take you awhile to heal before you can do it again, but you can.

 

Well, it's kind of like getting burned by the stove. I don't not ready to get near one at the moment because that fear of getting burned is too much right now.

 

The thing is, I thought I was being selective with my ex. Things just felt "right" so fast. I never had that happen before but I guess the next time that happens, I will be more aware. It's sad that *usually* when things feel so right so soon and moves so quickly, it isn't healthy. But then I think about my good friends who got married 4 months after dating. They've been together for about 3 years, I think, and they seem very happy. I hang out with them a lot. I don't know what goes on when I am not there, though.

 

Thanks for your encouragement too, I appreciate it.

[notalady]

To me it doesn't really count as 10 months if you had been in contact and also tried to reconcile in April/May, I would restart the clock to when you go completely NC if it was me. I once dated someone for 3 months and took me a year to get over it because we were still in contact and occasionally met up for sex lol!

 

I think some of the posters here were also right in that a shorter relationship can be harder to get over because it hasn't run it's full course, you haven't seen the worst of that person and the ratio of good memories is probably still pretty high. Even if you know it's the right thing to do, without having experienced enough of the "bad" of the relationship, it's hard to justify in your mind the reasons for not being together.

[spazmy]

I would prescribe a combination of no contact and exercise. The two will lighten your heart. Forget about everything else. Concentrate on only these two.

[Ms Darcy]

Being together with someone for 19 years is CONSIDERABLY different from being with them for 9 months, when the passion and mystery of a partner is still pretty strong. I have a friend who was with someone for ten years and was entirely relieved when they broke up - they'd known each other pretty thoroughly by that point, and lasted even when she cheated on him, and they'd run their course; it only took him about a year and a half to start dating again.

Dating people for a shorter amount of time is very different, especially to the person who has gotten dumped and felt strongly about it. When you're with someone longer, you simply know them better - are more "comfortable" with them - which, in many ways, can kill passion or excitement in a relationship. After 9 months, that haze is still there.

 

I think this is very dismissive of long-term relationships. It's not about the length of the relationship. It's about the person. Who you are impacts the way and speed you heal. A person can get over a 20 year marriage in a year ... another might take 20 years to heal.

[Marlee]

Just wanted to say thanks guys for sharing all of your thoughts in this thread. And that I hear you deejay, I'm coming up on 40 myself, it's a difficult time in life, cause it feels like you are meant to have arrived by now, if you know what I mean. Instead i spend too much time obsessing over wrong turns and wasted opportunities.

 

You wrote that you're in therapy and that you also tried meds? Just curious to why you feel that didn't work for you? I am beginning to feel like I, too, might be clinically depressed at this stage and might need help of some sort. Just not sure where to turn.

 

And pbsurf, I appreciate you trying to light some fires around here. Think that your advice is sound. But personally, being on ENA has helped me a great deal. Comforting to feel like your not alone in this.

 

Hang in there deejay, it will get easier with time. It has to.

[ladybird579]

Must admit I'm out of an 18 year "relationship" and I am just elated. No grief at all, just pure joy. I'm over it already. I 'm more upset about someone I met since I only knew a short while.

[deejay74]

To me it doesn't really count as 10 months if you had been in contact and also tried to reconcile in April/May, I would restart the clock to when you go completely NC if it was me. I once dated someone for 3 months and took me a year to get over it because we were still in contact and occasionally met up for sex lol!

 

I think some of the posters here were also right in that a shorter relationship can be harder to get over because it hasn't run it's full course, you haven't seen the worst of that person and the ratio of good memories is probably still pretty high. Even if you know it's the right thing to do, without having experienced enough of the "bad" of the relationship, it's hard to justify in your mind the reasons for not being together.

 

yeah, that makes sense. i guess the clock does restart since the last time we had contact. it still sucks though that it has been going on this long. i realize i (or we) being in contact didn't help.

 

i would tend to agree with what you've said about shorter relationships. my longest relationship was 3.5 years and we were growing apart near the end, so when it did end, it wasn't that bad. of course i was still sad, but nothing like what's going on now.

 

I would prescribe a combination of no contact and exercise. The two will lighten your heart. Forget about everything else. Concentrate on only these two.

 

there's that "e" word again - exercise. i guess i'll have to force myself to do some kind.

 

Just wanted to say thanks guys for sharing all of your thoughts in this thread. And that I hear you deejay, I'm coming up on 40 myself, it's a difficult time in life, cause it feels like you are meant to have arrived by now, if you know what I mean. Instead i spend too much time obsessing over wrong turns and wasted opportunities.

 

You wrote that you're in therapy and that you also tried meds? Just curious to why you feel that didn't work for you? I am beginning to feel like I, too, might be clinically depressed at this stage and might need help of some sort. Just not sure where to turn.

 

And pbsurf, I appreciate you trying to light some fires around here. Think that your advice is sound. But personally, being on ENA has helped me a great deal. Comforting to feel like your not alone in this.

 

Hang in there deejay, it will get easier with time. It has to.

 

yes, i want to thank everyone here as well.

 

i'm also glad you understand what i am going through and feeling. sometimes it's hard to be positive about the future because we have no idea what may come but definitely know what happened in the past.

 

therapy is kind of helping. i will admit, that i haven't done everything my therapist has advised me to do, including exercises in cognitive behavioral therapy because it's hard work. the work seems daunting and overwhelming so i tend to avoid it. so, here's another area where i can do more, i guess.

 

i've been on several anti-depressants on and off over several years. none of them helped, in fact, the last one i was on (vybrid) really messed me up. i was like a zombie - i had trouble concentrating, speaking, doing my job, i couldn't remember things - it was awful and actually made me more depressed. not to mention the sexual side effects. i have better results with anti-anxiety meds.

 

i'm doing my best to hang in there. i hope you're right about it getting easier with time.

[Dcgent]

You live in the DC area where there are tons of activities and tons of people. Go out and explore and have fun. Stop wallowing in your own misery. If you want to get out of this misery, then do it! It is disappointing to come back to this site and see you are still wallowing in all this misery almost a year later. Stop setting these "milestones" in a relationship that was failed to big with. living in the past is killing our present and destroying your future!