been apart longer than we were together and i'm still trying to heal.

[deejay74]

You live in the DC area where there are tons of activities and tons of people. Go out and explore and have fun. Stop wallowing in your own misery. If you want to get out of this misery, then do it! It is disappointing to come back to this site and see you are still wallowing in all this misery almost a year later. Stop setting these "milestones" in a relationship that was failed to big with. living in the past is killing our present and destroying your future!

 

what a coincidence. i haven't come here in days and when i do, i have a new response.

 

sorry to disappoint you, imagine how i feel. lol. i set these "milestones" to help me track my progress. it's how my mind works and how i think about my life. but i guess it is doing more harm than good.

 

i am doing my best not to live in the past. i know i need to work harder on a few things, such as exercising.

 

on a positive note, my lease is up and i am happy to get out of this apartment i'm in because my ex and i got it together. it has been a constant trigger but i am used to it now. i'm looking forward to moving to a new apartment in a new location. since you're from the DC area, you might be familiar with North Arlington. if i can find an affordable place near Clarendon or Ballston, i will be near a lot of activity. but, i'm just looking forward to getting out of this current place i'm in.

 

also, i got offered a DJ gig for labor day weekend. it's my first one in about a year or more. i'm excited about it.

 

i hear what you're saying about getting out and exploring. i'm from this area and know it very well, so there's not much "exploring" i could do. that's not to say i shouldn't get out more. i know i need to. another thing i'm working on is doing stuff alone and enjoying myself. not there yet but i'm working on it. i think my immediate focus is to find a new apartment.

[3Tears]

I heard DJs be getting all the women

 

lmao, be sure to get that gig and enjoy what you love the most! Best of luck man, keep us updated.

[Dcgent]

Re-explore the area, things are booming all over the place! Have you gone to some of the thriving new neighborhoods in DC. Just go for a long walk around DC and get some air.

 

I first came to this site like 11 years ago as I was reeling through a break up with my girlfriend of 5.5 years. I felt great aft the break up for a few months, until she tried come back into my life in manipulative ways. I was in misery for a few months, but I stayed active as much as I could. Played in various sporting leagues, started trying yoga, ventured out to discover DC. Funny thing is I wasn't always overly motivated to go out and about, but I made new friends and even came accross a pretty woman that I ended up dating for a while. Of course I reflected on the relationship from time to time, but I just forced myself to reinvent myself. You would be miserable if you were back with her...even more miserable than you are now. When I look back at that time, the one thing I regret was allowing myself to wallow in my misery... I am in a wonderful place now and I wouldn't be here if I decided to slowly decay in a state of misery... Good Luck!

[janut1]

Must admit I'm out of an 18 year "relationship" and I am just elated. No grief at all, just pure joy. I'm over it already. I 'm more upset about someone I met since I only knew a short while.

 

Yes! I am out of a 16.5 year marriage and was very relieved when he finally moved out. I felt so free, because I suffered greatly in the marriage so I emotionally detached during it The only guilt I had around my divorce was about our kids. The reason I came to ENA, was over my X BF of 19 months. I almost feel that its my payback to be suffering heartache since I didn't after my marriage.

[deejay74]

Yeah. I have friends that live in a lot of the places I would never have driven through during the day in DC over a decade ago that are now "up and coming" and/or that have names of their areas. lol. And, I have been working at a new job that's in Georgetown. As you know, G-town is pretty vibrant and bustling. I like to get out for lunch and walk around, especially by the waterfront.

 

What I highlighted in bold is something that I know and tell myself. It's kind of uncanny how you know this. One issue that I am still trying to beat is to not let my emotions override my logic because I know, logically, my ex and I should not be together and now I can see that I wasn't as happy as I thought I was in the relationship. But, the emotional young child in me misses her attention. I was drunk in love with that girl.

 

And, I already regret grieving almost a year over a 10 month relationship. Granted, getting back in touch with her in April and trying to reconcile reset the NC clock and set me back with healing. Oh well. It's frustrating.

 

 

 

I don't believe in things like life giving paybacks. As mentioned in this thread, sometimes shorter relationships can be harder. I know in my experience it seems to be that way.

 

 

 

Ha, not always true. When I was DJing regularly, I never really used my "status" to get women.

[Flyer79]

I have really enjoyed reading this thread. I am mid 30's and feel totally devastated with the ending of a 6 month relationship a month ago. As others have put when my last long term 7 year relationship ended, I was relieved too.

 

But I have really thrown myself out there this week, I have been chatting to one guy on a dating site who has all the qualities I want in man. BUT, he is currently going through his divorce (just like the ex). Oh no not again! Anyway he seems to have his life more in order though than the most previous ex.

 

Exercise is brilliant, I have made some running goals too this year and an older single friend invited me on an overseas trip in 2016.

 

I am missing him dearly though. But I still want more closure. Once I get that I will be able to move on properly and you never know what may happen with this new dating site guy!

 

All the best with it!! You can do it!