Ragamuffin blu Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Today I received a letter from my ex, confirming what I had already know that she is engaged (has been for 6 months!), would like us to be friends etc etc. Honestly I was expecting it to be a lot of selfish drivel, and in some ways it was, she totally downplayed our relationship saying it was like 'best friends', she said when we broke up not mentioning her new relationship was awkward. It was all about her of course, no word of sorry just how she made a mistake of how long it came for her to realise we were just friends and I was just hanging on. She thanked me for not being in touch with her as it let her process losing a friendship with me. I let my friend read it and she was just getting mad at the selfishness of it, of course she has seen some of the pain I have gone through so is totally biased. I think my ex has her version of what happened, I have mine and the truth is probably somewhere in between. I admit when I saw it in her writing that she was marrying someone else it did sting, but otherwise there was nothing that made me want to ever be in touch with her again. There was no empathy for me, completely reinvented the truth of us to justify her actions (she cheated and left me for the girl she is getting married to), she also said she had grown up emotionally during our relationship and thanked me for my kindness and patience! Glad I was there to guide her through the tough times until she matured to meet her future life partner!!! I wanted to post to tell others that going no contact was the best thing I did to heal, and I wish I had done it sooner! I didn't know what I was doing post break up, I still was holding onto hope, I thought that keeping in contact would stop her from moving on too....it might have done but it took a while for me to acknowledge it was stopping me from moving on and that is what I needed to do. The last year has been so painful to go through but I know I have done a lot of self growth and it has really given me some positive changes in my life. I am still a little down about things, the way my life is going, not being completely happy, etc but I am confident I am on the right road to recovery. Actually this morning I was in a bit of mood, I had a meeting with my boss and he had found an email from an ex employee saying that I had said certain things (including slating my boss!) it was so awkward but I was able to get through it ok. I came home and found the letter so I was bit shaken up with things, I called a few friends, talked about my feelings and I really feel I coped well with not a great day. I know I coped better than I would a year ago before trying to employ my new 'coping mechanisms'. Basically I am trying to say that the break up had made me a much stronger, empathetic person and that feels really good. I really feel for everyone going through the pain of breakup, it is devastating, just keep the faith and you will get through it. xx Link to comment
3Tears Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I would go berserk if I ever got a letter like that, confirming that my ex will be getting married... that is SO selfish of her, she didn't take in consideration your feelings at all. Its like rubbing in your face that she is fine, happy and that will be getting married soon. Screw all that, I'd say ignore her, burn that letter and keep moving forward, what the hell man, I'm pissed and its not even me. Link to comment
BigKK Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 This just shows you the true self-ishness of "the dumper" they are at first worried about relieving their guilt, and then just getting over it. Sorry that you got such a selfish letter, but glad you went no contact and were able to stomach this selfish garbage, I'm sure you know you're much better off without her. Link to comment
bpm103 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 wow. I commend you for your maturity in dealing with that letter. I agree with 3Tears. That makes my stomach turn and it didn't even happen to me. I think that shows that i am not healed and you likely are... if not fully, then more so. If I think about getting a letter like that from a prior ex, not the most recent one, I would probably laugh at the immaturity and throw it out without caring. But my most recent ex, no. I would flip the f out and it would take all my being not to do something really irrational. lol. Link to comment
hrdcore1337 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I commend you for having the strength to move on fully. Please give me the same power Link to comment
albatross8 Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Never try to remain friends with any ex--no matter how much time has passed. You will encounter those in life who feel it is enlightened to try to do so, that some relationships downgrade from romance, to friendships. But, it's never, ever a good idea. Don't even acknowledge you've received the letter. Link to comment
Cherry009 Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 I agree with the others, very selfish and self centred of her to send that letter, why does she think you care??? Strange woman! lol Link to comment
kn1gh7y Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 AGREE With everyone input on this, seems to me she marrying the wrong person, feelings are still there for her to write that! Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Very, very selfish letter, and then to try and say "Let's be friends." Glad you are healing and taking this so well. Kuddos to you. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.