Emotional, Physical, and Verbally abusive girlfriend.

[ken0001]

Hi guys.

 

It's not that very long since my last post about me and my partner. I'm 24. She's 28. She has 2 kids from different men. I'll just get straight to the point.

 

The title says it all. My partner is all of those packed into one human being.

 

Emotionally Abusive - 90% of the time, whenever we have an argument (100% of those argument are petty fights I assure you.), she'll throw these tantrums that I deem (or even some of you might deem) to be very childish. She just switches to her silent mode. Or if not in silent mode, she will reject all of your opinions and force you to believe that it was your fault even though it wasn't or IF IT SOMEHOW WAS, your reasons are logical to the point where even a 5th grader would understand. Whenever there's something she wants to do and I don't immediately agree with her plans because I'm still assessing the situation while we're talking, she'll just immediately say "Forget it" and just doesn't want to execute her plans anymore. And whenever I'll explain myself as to why I was not able to say yes immediately, she'll enforce her "Forget it" answer and proceed with just being angry with me and ignoring me until the next day. I'll be lucky enough if she'll talk to me before sleeping. A perfect example for that petty fights is the Starbucks Cinnamon Danish. A lot of times, whenever I don't deliver what she wants, she'll throw this cold treatment at me. And say she's disappointed. I know for a fact that Cinnamon danish may come cheap, BUT for me, since I have limited time and resources now and still just a fresh graduate, income for me is scarce but whenever I have money, I gladly share it with her. Isn't just ironic that she's the one who has a job but it's still me doing the expenses? Not just for the food, but for our dates as well. Whenever I try to tell her that we could try to go out provided that we can pay for ourselves at least for now, she'll immediately say "is that so? then let's just set it on another day." Though I do get the point that she has kids, the first kid is not in her home. The kid is with her father. The second kid is with her, I get that. But every time we go out, the same scenario just repeats itself.

 

There was one time I tried to open up about our relationship seeing as our relationship are already on the rocky side of things considering that we're just 3 months together, I asked her if she was still sure about our relationship. Her reply was "don't be too dramatic. If there's something wrong with us, I do not forget to tell you what it is. If you have a problem with that, or if you have a problem with my attitude, that's your problem. Not mine." And all I replied was "Ok. Thank you for answering honestly

 

There was also a time that I asked her out to watch Capt. America : The Winter Soldier with me. I asked her if she could leave work @ 5pm since the movie will start @ 6:30pm. She told me set it on another time because she wants to leave @ 6pm from work since the weather outside is still hot @ 5pm. I assured her that by that time (5pm) the sun had already set or if not, is already setting to the point that it's not that hot anymore (below 37C) and we'll ride an aircon bus on the way to the cinema so she won't be feeling hot because of the weather, she declined. And I explained that the reason why we need to watch it early and go home early was because firstly, my mom won't have anybody at home to be with her. So I need to go home early so that she won't feel as if we're leaving her just because we are already graduates. The other reason is for my girlfriend to be able to go home early and to play with her kids. She answered me with "i'll be late at home too but i dont complain since i wont be able to play with my kids. You know what, I'm tired of you always have to get home early. If you wanna watch the movie earlier than 6pm, go invite some other people and not me. I'll never invite you to anything anymore because of your attitude."

 

Physically Abusive - whenever we're out together, she'll pinch me in my triceps area. Though it may sound not so big of a deal for some of you guys, it is for me because it has always came to a point that my triceps would have some bruise marks on that area. And whenever I'd tell her that it hurts whenever she's doing it, she'll say "Tsk. Are you a man or not?" That's not all. From time to time, she'll scratch me at my arms for no apparent reason. There was one time I got wounded because of it. And she told me she has absolutely no memory of what and when it had happened. Another thing to add under here is whenever she's biting me. I know that somehow that shows sweetness of your partner. But I fairly believe not to the extent that it will leave teeth markings and bruises a couple of minutes later. Same as whenever she's pinching me, she'll have the same remark and questions my manliness. There are also times that she'll just punch me in my arm or slap me in my arm and just say she just wants to do it. If I tell her to stop, she'll say she can't and continue with what she's doing.

 

Verbally abusive - well...as you may have guessed with what I have written, you can only imagine the things she says to me when she's angry. Examples would be "you son of a " , "you ing head", "off" , and those sorts.

 

I still have so many things to write down. But it only boils to one point as to why I have written this down. I need your opinions as to what I should really do with her. I do love her but slowly, that love is being replaced with hate at resentment. I'm not really looking for something concrete as to what I should do. What I'm really looking for is encouragement from you guys. If you still want to know more about what has been happening between us, if you weren't bored reading the long first part, I'd be more than happy to share it with you guys so that you'd also have the grasp of what's going on.

 

Sorry for the long post. I had to vent this all out.

 

Thank you.

[mhowe]

I have NO idea.why you are putting up with this.

She must be very pretty and good in the sack.

 

Believe me....this isn't normal nor acceptable.

[greta96]

Why are you still with her?

[poetryandlyrics]

Don't see any good qualities. What's in it for you? She pretty?

Break it off. You know you should.

 

And that love that you say is turning into hate and resentment? There's no turning back when it does. This is a wake up call for you to leave.

[ken0001]

I don't even know why I'm still with her. Maybe it's because I don't want or did not want to back down what I said that I won't give up. But given the circumstance, I'm gonna be breaking up with her. Later , tonight. Since I have already felt the hate and resentmet growing within me towards her. Just please encourage me more to do it. I have already made my decision. I'm just looking for that driving force. Thank you.

[poetryandlyrics]

If you need encouragement, then keep writing on this to get encouragement. Write down anything she had done to you to remind you of why you're leaving.

[mhowe]

Buddy...these are life decisions that come from within.

Not from a poll on a forum.

 

You mist decide and accept that you are worth more than the abuse this woman is piling on you.

 

You know it is the right decision.... you are miserable.

Tell her you are done...then block her number, block her on all social media and delete her number so when your bed feels empty you don't try and rethink this whole thing and figure it was some how your fault.

[ken0001]

There was a time we went out of town because her bestfriend was about to get married. I packed my bag the size of your regular jansport backpack. She packed hers with the size of a mountaineer's backpack. Ofcourse, being chivalrous as I am, I carried her bag from the port to the hotel. It came to a point where we needed to change hotels. I carried hers and my bag ofcourse. But seeing as the next hotel needed 30 mins of travel time, her bag sucked out my energy. As we approached the reception for the wedding (me being able to dump her bag at the counter) i told her if she wanted to drink cold water. She said "get one for yourself, im not thirsty." It offended me in a way since as partners, you should be attentive of each others needs. I remained calm and collected. What surprised me was that when her officemate's boyfriend invited her for a drink, she immediately ordered a beer for herself. What's even more surprising is that later at night, I told her that it's not as if im telling you to stop drinking. What i'm telling you is to control yourself. She just answered me "you aren't my father to tell me those things."

 

It's just saddening that for someone with her age and 2 kids to boot, she still hasn't had enough of all the partying.

 

 

@mhowe

 

 

I know what you're saying. I'm just collecting my thoughts more and more before I end it tonight. Thank you for your replies.

[mhowe]

You can do it.

Don't back down!

[Moontiger]

Ken.....PLEASE get out.

 

Imagine if a female friend of yours told you these things about her BF.How would you react?

[HeartGoesOn]

OP...Read your opening thread, and ask yourself what advice would you offer this poster?

[RideOn]

Wow, no one should put up with this. Get out as soon as you can and you will feel so much better. This is not a good relationship for anyone to be in.

[RainyCoast]

I do love her but slowly, that love is being replaced with hate at resentment.

And THAT, if nothings else, is what will end the cognitive dissonance for you so you can say you've had it and leave. As you should.

I suggest exploring this site a little link removed. Once it settles in your mind FIRMLY that what she's doing is completely intolerable and it's not "just you" it may be easier to stand up for yourself. C'mon, you're too cool for Stockholm syndrome.

Let us know.