This a red flag?

[Liraele]

She's a drama queen.

 

I think I'd probably nip this one in the bud now, and let her go hang with her ex or whatever it is she really wants.

[Someone94]

At least she's been honest in staying with her ex and hasn't made it out as if he's just a friend. I wouldn't react and just see how it goes remember things you do may make her feel uncomfortable all the same

[Mr_LFA]

Update to this:

I tried to break up with her but she talked me out of it somehow. Things were going well for a few weeks. Still told me she loved me etc Then last week she said we shouldn't be exclusive anymore but still wanted to have sex with me (!). I talked to her on the phone a few days ago and now she says she's seeing someone else, as she said she wants a (serious) "relationship" and we shouldnt see each other "for a while". Said she was sad though and misses me. I just said ok and I'll meet her somewhere to get some of my stuff that was still at her house. She also asked me in that last phone conversation that if it doesn't work out with this new guy, can we still casually date (sex) after. w t f?

[HeartGoesOn]

She's sad and missing you so much, yet she managed to find a replacement in record time.

 

Hopefully you don't stoop to her level.

[Mr_LFA]

She's sad and missing you so much, yet she managed to find a replacement in record time.

Well she's the kind of person that can't be alone but it still hurts. I guess when I tried to break up with her she didn't have a 'replacement' yet so pleaded and pleaded with me not to. Do you think this is basically a rebound?

[Rosti87]

Well she's the kind of person that can't be alone but it still hurts. I guess when I tried to break up with her she didn't have a 'replacement' yet so pleaded and pleaded with me not to. Do you think this is basically a rebound?

 

I think that is what HeartGoesOn is implying.

[nutbrownhare]

Do you think this is basically a rebound?

Rebound, replacement, just someone totally interchangeable to occupy a hole in her life... whatever. For you, though, it's an opportunity to distance yourself, shut down communication and run for the hills - secure in the knowledge that, for now, she won't be running after you! Take this as a time to heal, improve your self esteem, learn from the relationship and never make yourself vulnerable to someone like this again!

[Mr_LFA]

Thanks nutbrownhare, well put.

 

I don't think the new guy has any idea of what he's in for.

[Ms Darcy]

Well she's the kind of person that can't be alone but it still hurts. I guess when I tried to break up with her she didn't have a 'replacement' yet so pleaded and pleaded with me not to. Do you think this is basically a rebound?

 

I think YOU are the type of person who can't be alone. It's not that hard to block her. You spend so much time psychoanalyzing her because I think you don't want to self-reflect.

[Mr_LFA]

I think YOU are the type of person who can't be alone. It's not that hard to block her. You spend so much time psychoanalyzing her because I think you don't want to self-reflect.

Rubbish, I've been single for most of my 20's. I'm not a rebound type either. I'll be honest the sex was too good though.

[Ms Darcy]

Rubbish... I'll be honest the sex was too good though.

 

Not really rubbish. You know you needed to move on and yet went back. If you went back for sex, then that's on you not her.

[Mr_LFA]

Now how can I stop thinking about her with other people and just move on. It's hard to sleep. I was feeling a lot better yesterday, then my friend (ex-colleague of hers) met me and showed me some texts that she wrote to him and I've relapsed. I've arranged to meet her later this week to get my stuff back too. Wish it was now.

[Ms Darcy]

You have to give it time and try to be patient. Do your best to be busy and don't have contact with her (outside of getting your stuff back). (And don't look at communications other people have with her). These are just self-inflicted wounds.

[Mr_LFA]

Been trying to be busy, getting out with friends, exercise etc. I'm trying to study and I'm just finding it really hard to concentrate right now. I feel like texting her right now and tell her what I feel and think right now, but I wont - that is something she would do. It's ugly and I feel so cheap. I've been through breakups before and it feels horrible again.

[Ms Darcy]

You just have to tough it out. And stop badmouthing her. That sort of negativity only keeps you suffering.

[Liraele]

Thinking of a thing keeps you tied to it. That includes thinking badly of a thing. In this case the "thing" you are thinking about is a girl. Same principle applies. You are actively thinking about her - thus, you are keeping yourself tied to her. You.

[Mr_LFA]

Got my stuff back from her today, and gave her back some stuff too. Couldn't really sleep last night either, too anxious. Ended up talking for a bit and probably wasn't a good idea on my part, doesn't change anything. She said she was happy and so I left it at that. I think we both knew it wasn't going to work out long term from the start but that doesn't make it any easier.