How to bring this up to my boyfriend...

[oitnb]

Ever since I was honestly in diapers, I've gotten bad cold sores all around my mouth/chin/nose. My parents think it was probably caused my some family member hugging/kissing me with a cold sore.

 

I used to get them fairly frequently, but now i usually only get them when I'm sick, stressed, or are getting over a migraine.

 

They used to be so bad I even have pills to help clear them up, I wouldn't go to school because I was embarrassed people would think I was gross and had "herpes" (even tho technically I do, but w.e....)

 

Well two days ago I had a HORRID migraine. Almost went to the emergency room and everything. And I woke up this morning and guess what? A huge cluster on my upper lip.... I doubled up on my pills for it and jumped in the shower before bf could see it.

 

The thing is, a friend recently confided in me that her bf went down on her with a small cold sore on his lip, and it spread to her lady bits. I know there is two types and one type tends to stick to the face area, lips nose mouth, and one tends to stick to the genitals. But regardless, I want to avoid giving my bf any type of oral after hearing that story. I just don't know how to bring it up without him thinking I have some sort of std or something....

[Batya33]

Does he trust you? Tell him that it is not an STD but that just to be 100% safe it's better not to have oral sex until it clears up. On a side note I seriously doubt that you have this condition because of someone kissing you when you were a baby.

[oitnb]

Does he trust you? Tell him that it is not an STD but that just to be 100% safe it's better not to have oral sex until it clears up. On a side note I seriously doubt that you have this condition because of someone kissing you when you were a baby.

 

Well I've gotten them since before I can even remember, and We (my parents and I) don't know how else they could've started. I know something like 80% of the population has cold sores or herpes of the mouth or w.e.

[oitnb]

And yes he trusts me. I guess I'm just embarrassed to bring it up since you say "herpes" and people automatically assume it's of the genitals...

[Seraphim]

That is how the majority of people get cold sores is being kissed as a child. I don't see it as horrific but I know some people do. Personally I have never had one and neither has my husband.

 

The only way to go about it is to be upfront. Just explain you've had them since childhood.

[MisUnderstood9]

I get 2 cold sores a year. One in the summer -- my doctor calls it a heat blister and One in the winter if it gets super super cold -- my doctor said its a caused from the change in temperature. I have always had it happen to me since I was little, dont know why I just do.

 

My spouse knows about them and we just try not to kiss or let me do oral on him while it's around. It's not an STD, just something that happens. I have explained it to him exactly like that and he gets it. You just need to be honest with him and tell him the truth. That you don't know why you get them, you just do, its not an STD but to be safe no oral while you have a break out. I am sure that he will be fine with it.

[oitnb]

That is how the majority of people get cold sores is being kissed as a child. I don't see it as horrific but I know some people do. Personally I have never had one and neither has my husband.

 

The only way to go about it is to be upfront. Just explain you've had them since childhood.

 

I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I just got a little bump, but I tend to get them BAD when I get them. It's just been fewer and farther apart of me getting them. It's always been a touchy subject for me, a real confidence killer when I get one.

 

I'll just explain verbatim what I typed here to him. I'm overthinking it and I doubt he'll freak out.

[laninaperdida]

You probably think you're being discreet by jumping in the shower, but trust me:

HE KNOWS YOU HAVE COLD SORES.

He's just being polite & not pointing them out.

 

The herpes virus is a tricky b1tch.

If YOU have cold sores & you perform oral sex on someone they can very easily contract genital herpes.

YOU, however, are LESS likely to contract GENITAL herpes because you already have ORAL herpes.

It doesn't mean you're immune or anything, but having two slightly different strands of the same virus isn't common.

You kind of have 1 or the other, but not both.

 

I've never had either cold sores or genital herpes, but I'd rather have cold sores, lol.

Especially if it greatly lowers my chances of getting genital herpes.

Either way, keep in under control best you can... invest whether it be pills, etc.

[mmnyc5052]

You know 80% of people have a form of herpes right? And yes, most of it is attributed to a friend or relative kissing the child in their early years, or something else. Most of the time it's not an actual STD per say. Google it. My boyfriend got it from wrestling, being down on mats that are unsanitized or having contact with someone or spit getting on him. The cold sores flare up when people are stressed or sick. I freaked out at first but after much research this information doesn't scare me. I don't have herpes and he's gone down on me a lot before. You just have to be careful. Show him studies.

[oitnb]

You know 80% of people have a form of herpes right? And yes, most of it is attributed to a friend or relative kissing the child in their early years, or something else. Most of the time it's not an actual STD per say. Google it. My boyfriend got it from wrestling, being down on mats that are unsanitized or having contact with someone or spit getting on him. The cold sores flare up when people are stressed or sick. I freaked out at first but after much research this information doesn't scare me. I don't have herpes and he's gone down on me a lot before. You just have to be careful. Show him studies.

 

I will. I actually told him about it tonight and he jokingly teased me for being so embarrassed. I just hate it, it's so gross I can't kiss him or anything until it goes away... I'd rather have a full face of pimples than a cold sore!!