Pickup Artist Methods Are Not Working On an Old Crush

[lavenderdove]

OK, you're missing all the clues here... you're trying to rush her into bed and she knows it, and she's having none of it. So you asked her up to your place after the first date to 'see your project' (really? seriously?) like she doesn't know what you mean there, and of course she knows that the only 'project' you want to show her is a piece of your anatomy. And she's not interested in doing that casually on the first date. So she declines.

 

then you approach her for another date (which is fine) and she happens to be busy on that day, which a normal, mature woman with a job and life of her own might be, so that's not a deep rejection, especially considering she suggests an alternate time.

 

and the fact that she doesn't leap to immediately respond to a text shows she is a busy woman with a life of her own. I know I get busy at work and sometimes forget about my own phone and don't instantly respond to texts or emails because I've got a lot going on.

 

She is also letting you know that she doesn't intend to let you rush her or jump into an 'insta-relationship' where you're in each other faces 24x7 the second you have one date.

 

So frankly you're just trying to run some script based on a hokey PUA method that is all about manipulation and not about really getting to know a person or about building a strong relationship. She is showing you she is more interested in taking her time and building a relationship than in conforming to your 'program' and leaping into bed with you after one latte and a salad.

 

So what is it you want? If you really want to DATE her as opposed to MANIPULATE her, then just slow down your pace to match her pace. And don't take it as a huge rejection if she doesn't leap like a puppet on a string to your every contact.

[Collegeguy]

Thank you Lavenderdove. I'm picking and choosing my advice here, but I think your advice helps the most. Your advice seems to make the most sense considering my situation and what I know about her. I do want to date her so I can't see past my feelings to see any of the signs. I'm done with doing the PUA stuff on her. If I get the opportunity, I will be my normal charming self. Thanks so much!