Sometimes I seriously want to smack him...

[indea08]

You guys are wonderful. Thank you for all the advice and alternate view points. You all make sense, and shed light in some direction. I'll talk all of this over with him and see what we agree upon as far as consistent visits, boundaries, etc...As far as child support, I'll have to keep sitting on that one for a while. I totally get what you guys are saying. Although I SHOULDNT feel guilty if he winds up in jail, I know that I will. If I can't get myself past that, baby A does deserve it. If she could graduate from college one day with no student loans, oh my, that would be wonderful.

[lavenderdove]

I would not let my child be around him if hangs out with drug users and heroin addicts (and how can you be really sure he isn't using himself?). She could be playing on his lap someday and get a pill from his pocket and eat it and OD before you know it. Or stick her hand in his pocket and hit his works and dirty needle that gives her hepatitis and/or HIV.

 

Really, think about this rationally. Your prime goal is to protect your daughter, and if her father is a deadbeat loser who is a 2 time felon who also associated with drug users (and is probably one himself), then why on earth would your daughter see him even once? Most women would be getting a child protective order that he can only see the child on supervised visitation and only if he submits to regular and random drug tests to prove he is clean and not using drugs.

 

You see him as 'harmless' or 'nice' but honestly most women wouldn't see a guy who is a 2 time felon who has heroin users at his friends as anything but a potential huge danger. You need to RAISE your standards to protect your daughter, and that means he doesn't get to see her AT ALL unless he submits to regular drug tests to prove he is clean. And never let him take her out of your sight without you present or you may be very distressed to learn what might happen to her when you are not around to supervise.

 

Don't let your desire to be an enabler/caretaker (a common problem with nurses and other people who choose the helping professions as careers) to overcome your good judgment and the recognition that he has shown himself to be irresponsible and unwilling to even try to be a good parent. He doesn't want a full time job because that would most likely interfere with his drinking, drugging, and lounging around. Drug addicts know well enough it is hard to pursue their fun/addiction when they have to keep a regular schedule.

[pl3asehelp]

It really blows my mind a total loser like his could even get laid at all. If that's you in your picture OP, you're pretty hot and could have done WAY better. I feel like this all demonstrates how women have no idea how much power they have over men. If all women just rejected losers like this, trust me, they would get their act together. But rewarding their loserness and confirming to them that they're on the right track they have zero incentive to change. In fact, normal regular guys will actuall learn to turn into a loser because it's a proven way to sleep with hot women. Just don't get it.