RuedeRivoli Posted March 3, 2014 Author Share Posted March 3, 2014 You should never message a guy you met in his online inbox when he's back on an online dating site, especially when you have his number. That smells of desperation, you are giving your power away that way. I texted on his phone him hours after he logged off I no longer use the website to contact him! It's ridiculous to contact him through this website if I have his number. One thing though ... Why is it every single time I text him on his phone, he logs onto his OKC account? And when we're done talking through text, he logs off?! Link to comment
missmarple Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 You should never message a guy you met in his online inbox when he's back on an online dating site, especially when you have his number I second this. I always think 'why on earth don't you just call me?' when a guy who has my number messages me on the site...especially a guy I've gone out with. Link to comment
missmarple Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I texted on his phone him hours after he logged off . How long ago was this? Also, have you talked at all after the second date? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I texted on his phone him hours after he logged off I no longer use the website to contact him! It's ridiculous to contact him through this website if I have his number. One thing though ... Why is it every single time I text him on his phone, he logs onto his OKC account? And when we're done talking through text, he logs off?! Who knows and more importantly who cares- you are wasting precious energy -and adding negative/anxiety related energy to trying to analyze his on line movements. Here is all you need to know. You met this person one time. Right now you do not have another date with him therefore assume until you have another specific date you are not going to be seeing him again. He is still advertising himself as single which means that he is interested in dating other people or is dating other people, as he should be. The rest is waste-of-time-speculation. Use that time to live your life whether that means trying to meet other people or pairing your socks or going to the gym. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I texted on his phone him hours after he logged off I no longer use the website to contact him! It's ridiculous to contact him through this website if I have his number. One thing though ... Why is it every single time I text him on his phone, he logs onto his OKC account? And when we're done talking through text, he logs off?! Imo, the guys slick. He believes you are less likely to check up on him if your time is being used up with talking to him on the phone. I seriously advise you to stop sweating the small stuff, you won't survive the shark infested waters of online that way. I hope you have some other dates lined up, that will help prevent you from putting all your chips on one dude and in being disappointed if the roll fails. Link to comment
RuedeRivoli Posted March 3, 2014 Author Share Posted March 3, 2014 How long ago was this? Also, have you talked at all after the second date? We made out all night, he held my hand, and was all over me all night. He kept complimenting me and all. It was like 3 hours ago. The second date was last night. He told me to text him when I get home. I did, and he just responded: "I had fun, got home safe as well, until next time Ashley" Then I told him to make plans next time and he said "I'll make them, promise " I later apologized for not being maybe a bit "cranky" and he said: "Don't apologize, we're fine!" Nothing since. One thing I found super bizarre is that he was like "we have to go because I have a train tomorrow at 7", so supposedly he had to go to sleep. Yet, he managed to be on that website at 4 a.m. I haven't heard from him since. Link to comment
RuedeRivoli Posted March 3, 2014 Author Share Posted March 3, 2014 Who knows and more importantly who cares- you are wasting precious energy -and adding negative/anxiety related energy to trying to analyze his on line movements. Here is all you need to know. You met this person one time. Right now you do not have another date with him therefore assume until you have another specific date you are not going to be seeing him again. He is still advertising himself as single which means that he is interested in dating other people or is dating other people, as he should be. The rest is waste-of-time-speculation. Use that time to live your life whether that means trying to meet other people or pairing your socks or going to the gym. We saw each other three times total. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I have had a few women message me online when they already had my number like, "hey, hows okc going?" Or "hey cutie". I see this as, HEY I SEE YOU AND I'M WATCHING EVERY STEP YOU SON OF A B!!! Link to comment
RuedeRivoli Posted March 3, 2014 Author Share Posted March 3, 2014 I have had a few women message me online when they already had my number like, "hey, hows okc going?" Or "hey cutie". I see this as, HEY I SEE YOU AND I'M WATCHING EVERY STEP YOU SON OF A B!!! I haven't messaged him online since I gave him my number! We haven't spoken on this website since then. I don't need it. I don't even check his profile when I'm online. I just log off and check his profile offline. Link to comment
missmarple Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 One thing I found super bizarre is that he was like "we have to go because I have a train tomorrow at 7", so supposedly he had to go to sleep. Yet, he managed to be on that website at 4 a.m. I haven't heard from him since. Well, every time I had a similar experience with a guy I met online (I mean the guy saying we have to end the date for this or that reason and later finding him on the site), it never went anywhere. Talk to more people and go on dates with others, too. If you make this guy your sole focus, you'll end up very disappointed. Just go on with your life and if he asks for another date, fine. If not, fine again. Also, at this point, I wouldn't contact him again...let him contact you. Link to comment
Liraele Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 You can say 'no' at any point. I think that can/should negate any impression you might have given him - you always have a chance to put a stop to it if you feel like things are moving too quickly or in a direction you aren't ready for. Link to comment
chr8st8na Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 My actions do match my intentions! How are they not matching my intentions? I said I didn't want to sleep on date 2 but I didn't mean, no preview at all! As for the texting, I texted him way after he logged off, it's just I noticed he was online a couple of hours prior! Even if you texted him after he logged off, why are you making it a big deal that he didnt text you back? That's neediness. Also, my second statement about intentions and actions were not directed at you- it was a general statement. Link to comment
RuedeRivoli Posted March 3, 2014 Author Share Posted March 3, 2014 I'm just wondering that's all, because he usually responds right away. Link to comment
chr8st8na Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I'm just wondering that's all, because he usually responds right away. You can't presume to know whats inside someone's head... it could be a lot of things and it could be one thing. All you can do to is realize that this is the dating world and you are not going to let a guy ruin your mood over something petty. I suggest finding hobbies or being with friends... both will preoccupy your time so your mind doesnt wander off to him. I think if you really like the guy, then yea, wait it out and see if he reaches out. But if you don't really like him any way, then it's fine to move on. Link to comment
goodheartlady Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 Maybe it has nothing to do with sex or the lack there of. Perhaps he lost interest over other things. Perhaps he is dating someone else he likes more. Iike someone who does not stalk his online activities, just an example! Link to comment
RuedeRivoli Posted March 3, 2014 Author Share Posted March 3, 2014 You can't presume to know whats inside someone's head... it could be a lot of things and it could be one thing. All you can do to is realize that this is the dating world and you are not going to let a guy ruin your mood over something petty. I suggest finding hobbies or being with friends... both will preoccupy your time so your mind doesnt wander off to him. I think if you really like the guy, then yea, wait it out and see if he reaches out. But if you don't really like him any way, then it's fine to move on. I genuinely like him, so that's why I'm making a big deal out of it. We met about a year ago, and we just started to get things going about 3 weeks ago. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I haven't messaged him online since I gave him my number! We haven't spoken on this website since then. I don't need it. I don't even check his profile when I'm online. I just log off and check his profile offline. Lol ok, ok, ok, ok!! I couldnt quote missmarple on my phone where she posted about her situation with a guy who messaged her on her online inbox. That wasnt meant for you, silly! Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 You handled it no different than most woman i know. Dont go thinking you made a big mistake - but you have to shave off this desire you have for him though . Regain that composure, if he is what you hope hes not... then he will smell it on you and work against it. Link to comment
RuedeRivoli Posted March 3, 2014 Author Share Posted March 3, 2014 You handled it no different than most woman i know. Dont go thinking you made a big mistake - but you have to shave off this desire you have for him though . Regain that composure, if he is what you hope hes not... then he will smell it on you and work against it. Oddly enough, when I texted him a message that was in the lines of "come over" he responded right away! But he never responded to the other ones. And he's supposed to be away on vacation. Good Lord, what some men wouldn't do for sex. A tool. To say I waited an entire year for this crap to happen. Oh my, he was not worth my energy at all. This douche has it coming. I'm seriously going to shame him in a week or two. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 Oddly enough, when I texted him a message that was in the lines of "come over" he responded right away! But he never responded to the other ones. And he's supposed to be away on vacation. Good Lord, what some men wouldn't do for sex. A tool. To say I waited an entire year for this crap to happen. Oh my, he was not worth my energy at all. This douche has it coming. I'm seriously going to shame him in a week or two. Then you know what hes about, and hes not even trying to fix his image - he is being very clear to his intentions. Any guy who values you would at the very LEAST be on PR mode to fix his image to keep himself in the chase for you. If you really are connecting the dots and seeing all this, then i would bow out. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Oddly enough, when I texted him a message that was in the lines of "come over" he responded right away! But he never responded to the other ones. And he's supposed to be away on vacation. Good Lord, what some men wouldn't do for sex. A tool. To say I waited an entire year for this crap to happen. Oh my, he was not worth my energy at all. This douche has it coming. I'm seriously going to shame him in a week or two. I think you're going to end up hurting yourself if you direct all this negative energy toward this individual you barely know. I'd avoid playing games of testing someone to see if he responds to "come over". How about moving on from this and next time perhaps you won't get this attached this early on. Link to comment
RuedeRivoli Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 I got played, and it sucks, but I just wanted to make sure I did. I hate playing games, but I feel as though with this man, it's always like this. Had the same drama last year. He ignored 1/3 of my messages. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I got played, and it sucks, but I just wanted to make sure I did. I hate playing games, but I feel as though with this man, it's always like this. Had the same drama last year. He ignored 1/3 of my messages. I don't think he played you. He simply didn't ask you on another date and agreed to come over to your place and hook up. You're the one who chose to play games. I think it's fine that he chose not to respond to your messages about going on another date or being friends - I used to dislike the "I think you're amazing but we're not a good match" after one or two dates -to me silence was just fine. I typically didn't contact a man after one date - I told him on the date what a great time I had, thanked him if he treated, and agreed to see him again if he asked me specifically or generally. And if he never called I assumed it was because he wasn't interested. Link to comment
RuedeRivoli Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 I don't think he played you. He simply didn't ask you on another date and agreed to come over to your place and hook up. You're the one who chose to play games. I think it's fine that he chose not to respond to your messages about going on another date or being friends - I used to dislike the "I think you're amazing but we're not a good match" after one or two dates -to me silence was just fine. I typically didn't contact a man after one date - I told him on the date what a great time I had, thanked him if he treated, and agreed to see him again if he asked me specifically or generally. And if he never called I assumed it was because he wasn't interested. It's not really what happened. The message he didn't respond to had nothing to do with going on another date Besides, the night before he texted me and said "Until next time" - "I'll definitely make the plans, promise". I just said "see you soon, I hope", he was like "Definitely". Link to comment
calichick007 Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 You're going to "shame him" for not wanting to go out on another date but being willing to hook up? Or am I missing something? Link to comment
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