I cracked :( I looked at her blog

[Minilogue]

I was curious, so I went and searched for her blog and found it. Nothing too extreme just that she has a younger boyfriend now I guess part of me is happy she has found someone and the other half of me is very depressed I have not had a single relationship go well for me since we split, I've had mental health issues and had to restart my life again by going back to university as a 30+ year old. In other words the last few years have been utter crap, I really can't describe it any better than it's just been bad.

 

I wish her all the best I really do, but despite everything that happened I still miss her very badly after 6 years of not speaking to each other. I have gotten over a lot in the past few years but this relationship still haunts me because i really did love her, despite all her flaws and especially all my flaws. Part of me wants to email her but I'm not sure what good it will achieve or I'll even get a reply ?

 

I'm just missing her at this moment is all and I'm not sure what to do

[jenbrooks]

But you're able to function and do things just like normal though right? Why did you two break up that led to this much of pain even after this long?

[Minilogue]

But you're able to function and do things just like normal though right? Why did you two break up that led to this much of pain even after this long?

 

Yeah I am able to function and do things like normal, but it's taken me a long time to achieve that. I'm still not 100% but I'm getting better each day mental health wise. At least that's something

 

Why we broke up? First time she said she wasn't happy anymore. The second time which hurt the worst was when she punched me in the face giving me a black eye. I demanded she apologize, even though I deserved it She then told me I "couldn't force her to love me" and then I asked if she used me she said "yes". That broke my heart Like I'd want to force someone to love me....We had been having sex but no one knew except me, and I wasn't allowed to kiss her a second time around which made me feel like dirt

[jenbrooks]

Yeah I am able to function and do things like normal, but it's taken me a long time to achieve that. I'm still not 100% but I'm getting better each day mental health wise. At least that's something

 

Why we broke up? First time she said she wasn't happy anymore. The second time which hurt the worst was when she punched me in the face giving me a black eye. I demanded she apologize, even though I deserved it She then told me I "couldn't force her to love me" and then I asked if she used me she said "yes". That broke my heart Like I'd want to force someone to love me....We had been having sex but no one knew except me, and I wasn't allowed to kiss her a second time around which made me feel like dirt

 

My heart almost stopped after reading your response because I thought you were my ex. I punched him and gave him a black eye, and then he retaliated, after that his family found out because he told them, he's 32 by the way. They convinced him to kick me out, he let his family run our relationship and put us both in a depression mode for six months. I finally called it off because I could not do it anymore after finding out that he had to hide our relationship from his family after the incident. They also threatened him if he doesn't leave me, they will stop him from seeing his niece!

 

I don't know why exactly she broke up with you, the information is still not clear, but I had to force myself to breakup with him even though he did not want to.

 

Two weeks after the breakup, I saw him on a dating website!! How terrible is that!

 

I told him right after we broke up to never contact me again. But deep down, I want him to come back with a change.

 

Are you ny ex?

[Minilogue]

 

I told him right after we broke up to never contact me again. But deep down, I want him to come back with a change.

 

Are you ny ex?

 

That's what I hope she feels like For me to come back saying I've changed. And yes I have changed a lot in the last few years. I just miss her deeply, I still really do love her. All I really want is to be apart of her life again, and make amends for all the stupid stuff I did during our time together that turned her off me.

 

I don't think I'm your EX, what part of the world are you from? It would be too ironic but knowing my luck it would be true to see her on a site like this

[jenbrooks]

That's what I hope she feels like For me to come back saying I've changed. And yes I have changed a lot in the last few years. I just miss her deeply, I still really do love her. All I really want is to be apart of her life again, and make amends for all the stupid stuff I did during our time together.

 

I don't think I'm your EX, what part of the world are you from? It would be too ironic but knowing my luck it would be true to see her on a site like this

 

you are not my ex, because he already joined some dating website right after we broke up. It showed that he accepted the breakup and moved on. I know he was hurt and conflicted between his family and me, but he let his family take over and willing to let me go, you were not like that. You sound much better than that and you did not start to look for someone right away to replace your ex, you worked on yourself. Well, its been 1.5 month since my official breakup, so he's probabaly working out to feel and look good for his dates.

 

If I knew that he would be hurt this much and wiling to come between tf

[Minilogue]

If I knew that he would be hurt this much and wiling to come between tf

 

I am deeply hurt she's not in my life anymore, I miss her so much I don't even think she knows I'm still hurt by what happened How it ended..... It basically killed my heart and I still haven't recovered

 

I just like the way she made me feel good about myself while being with her, she was my princess and I was Shrek it seemed

[Ms Darcy]

I think you actually miss the relationship moreso than her. You are lonely. What are the mental health issues? Maybe that is making you fixate on her.

 

Definitely see a therapist if you are not and delete her from your facebook.

[Minilogue]

I think you actually miss the relationship moreso than her. You are lonely. What are the mental health issues? Maybe that is making you fixate on her.

 

Definitely see a therapist if you are not and delete her from your facebook.

 

I do miss the relationship. That is true, but I do sadly and deeply miss her too. As I said she was my princess and I was her Shrek it seemed, she was very smart, to the point where I felt inferior. I know that was my self esteem issue to deal with but I really loved that she was so smart and sexy. She really did make me feel wonderful, no doubt about it.

 

I deleted her from Facebook after she punched me in the head but that made things worse, not better. I have no way of contacting her now besides email

 

My mental health issues? Boy, where do I start! I have been in therapy for 5 years and I'm still stuck on her My latest and best therapist so far.... well we chat like we are buddies having a beer during the session but I don't really open up about how much her leaving me hurt me so bad and has caused all this pain

 

And that's the main reason I've been hospitalized in a mental ward 4 times since she left me. It got that bad, really bad that they had to hospitalize me because I was so f**ked in the head.

 

I have PTSD since she punched me in the head that's for sure, but I deserved that punch I also got assaulted at work multiple times working as a youth worker in residential homes after the break up making it much much worse for me to cope mentally. I also get psychosis from time to time, and have been diagnosed with schizophrenia but I think my therapist only went along with that diagnosis because I was applying for the disability pension and needed to come up with a bad sounding disease. I don't believe I have schizophrenia but I certainly suffer from psychosis & PTSD since our breakup.

 

It's just 6 years on and I still feel the love for her, even if she doesn't love me. Most of my problems of the last 5 years would go away If somehow we would re-unite. Trust me they would. It would make me so happy and I'd probably purpose to get married and have kids after a short while back with her since I know she has always wanted kids but I wasn't ready for them in the past. I'm that serious about the matter and that's how much I want her back in my life!!!!!

[sharky988]

Are you currently taking all your meds? Whether or not you agree with the diagnosis of schizophrenia, you need to continue to take the meds prescribed until your doctor is telling you differently. If you have a problem with your meds, you work it out with your doctor so you can both agree on a different course of treatment.

 

Your problems won't magically go away if she comes back to you. Life goes on and there are new problems to be dealt with -- a relationship brings more problems along with the good times. It's important that you talk to your therapist candidly about what you're experiencing right now. Don't just treat her like buddies having a beer -- that's not what she's there for. If you're having trouble coping with this breakup, you need to make it clear so you can get the support you need.

 

If you continue to follow your doctor's course of treatment and work to improve yourself, there's no reason why you can't move on and have other relationships. But you need to work on letting go of this past one first.

[cryingalways]

it's been 6 years, she may be a completely different person now. You've both changed surely, I think you are romanticising the past.

 

I was thinking about my ex from 6 years ago recently and I added him on facebook and saw he was with someone he had pretty much been with since we broke up and it hurt but I'm not that sad about it. We are most likely very different people now and it might not even work if we were to go out now anyway. So you can't get too upset about it.

 

I understand that because you've had a rough time since you broke up you will disasterize this instance but just try and think forward. 6 years back is a long time ago. x

[wilyone 11]

I will go against the grain here.

 

If you still feel so strongly about this woman after 6 years and miss her so much, I would probably reach out to try to establish a friendship if nothing else. Sometimes the universe nudges us to do things because we are meant to go down a certain path. If two people are meant to reconnect later in life, ONE of them will have to reach out to the other.

 

I think after 6 years of moving on, you've gone as far as you can go with no contact. I don't think you have much to lose by sending an email, assuming you won't regress if she doesn't respond. And if she doesn't respond you would have total closure so maybe it would help?

[Minilogue]

I will go against the grain here.

 

If you still feel so strongly about this woman after 6 years and miss her so much, I would probably reach out to try to establish a friendship if nothing else. Sometimes the universe nudges us to do things because we are meant to go down a certain path. If two people are meant to reconnect later in life, ONE of them will have to reach out to the other.

 

I think after 6 years of moving on, you've gone as far as you can go with no contact. I don't think you have much to lose by sending an email, assuming you won't regress if she doesn't respond. And if she doesn't respond you would have total closure so maybe it would help?

 

Thank you for your advice, it was what I was looking for. I know nothing will probably happen by sending a email, but I've got to at least try right? Even though I know probably nothing will happen except maybe told to get stuffed

 

I agree with others I'm romanticizing the past But I can't help what I feel. I feel like a part of me died when we split, and I fully went to pieces and haven't been able to recover until recently.

 

I'm not a total headcase, I'm a very boring person really I've just had a rough ride of late.

[Minilogue]

Now I'm not sure what I will do, I keep going over in my head "what if?"... I haven't written anything yet. I don't think I want too really, but the other half of me says do it and write that email.

 

She treated me like garbage when we were together and says she wished those years never happened in her life and blames it all on me. Like I was to blame for her mood and life during those times. She admitted later she didn't treat me well btw. Part of me hopes she has changed, but that's a faint hope. I kind of hope karma has gotten her agiven her good smack in the face, that would be justice.

 

Still I'm so confused with what I should do I know I shouldn't write it. My head says NO while my heart says YES.