aphrodite13 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 These past few days, i wake up in the morning not thinking about him anymore, instead, thinking what to do at work. I still think of him but not the whole day like before and I'm happy. I knew I dont wanna get back with him anymore for our own good. I am afraid to get hurt again as well. I broke NC after 32 days. Went back NC then broke it again after 8 days. It feels good to talk to him because he sounds happy and still talks a lot about himself like he used to be (he updates me on his activities in life). But then I still keep him blocked in my phone and social media. Until I decided to ask him out yesterday to have a good coversation which we didnt had after our break up beacuse we were both devastated and emotional. He told me that we can meet 6PM after my work but i told him that i will be working late (which is not true) and I can only meet him later in the evening (lesser time to talk). He told me that he will pick me up in the office so that I will not be travelling late at night. But I think I wont let him pick me up which I have'nt told him yet. When I was about to tell him that it will just be a talk over coffee, he suddenly said that we have only limited time if I will meet him late but then we can go for dinner and then send me home. That was not the plan I wanted. I want to talk to him to make sure that when we bumped each other somewhere else, it wont be so awkward for us, anyway we were friends for 5 years before we jumped into a relationship. I wanted us to be in good terms after break up. I thought I have moved on and ready to talk to him now but why I am feeling nervous now? I hope I wont be hurting myself again. How should I handle this? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I knew I dont wanna get back with him anymore for our own good. I am afraid to get hurt again as well. Then why did you contact him, and ask to meet up? Link to comment
Tayla92 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Yeh sorry Aphrodite, it wasn't the best idea to contact him and ask to meet up.. Who was the dumper in this relationship?? And was it a mutual agreement or?? From past experience, meeting up with exes only drags up the past and opens up those wounds again. Even if you were extremely great friends before, it might be impossible to be like that again because one of you is not going to be able to deal with just being friends... When you began to love each other, it's not like you can just switch it off. Once you see him, you'll probably fall in love with him all over again, is that really what you want?? Unless you two are thinking about giving it another try, then I'd stay right awayyyyyyyy. Goodluck! Link to comment
aphrodite13 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 HeartGoesOn , I decided to meet him hoping that we can bring back the friendship we had. I asked to meet up now because I thought I'm healed. But then suddenly i got afraid because seems like nothing had changed... I felt that he still care. Tayla92, I broke up with him because his parents doesn't like me for having a kid. He brought me in his house (as a friend ) with a group of friends, the parents were nice, until they learned about our relationship because he told his parents about it which lead us to our first break up that lasted for 2 days. this is our second break up, when his parents learned that we went tour together. I told him to choose his parents though it really hurts me. I don't like him and his parents to keep arguing about our relationship. He wanted us to be still friends after break up. I tried to be friends with him for 3 days. But he didn't changed, he still cares, he still insist to buy stuff for my kid for christmas, he go home late to avoid his parents and this makes me feel so sad. I love him but I need to let go because of those old folks which I believe they desrve to be happy during their few days on earth.... so I finally let go and went NC. I only want friendship but now i am scared to see him because I might fall again based on our conversation for this meet up. I dont want to expect something from him. I wanted to think that he was just being nice to pick me up and bring me for dinner and send me home. Maybe I am just over reacting. Yeah, it's a stupid decision of contacting him again. Link to comment
KarenC Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 It's sounds as if you're confused or either still want him but not being totally honest with yourself because if you were through with him at heart then you would not have contacted him. Link to comment
aphrodite13 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 I love him but I dont want a relationship because I am afraid get hurt again. Probably yes, i am confuse and indenial of what I am feeling. Link to comment
CeeLambrini Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 He can't choose his parents over his relationships forever. I think it was incredibly unfair that the only reason your relationship ended was because of two people that should have nothing to do with it all. This is bound to make getting over him difficult, because it sounds like the relationship wasn't even incompatible apart from a couple of judgemental people who shouldn't even have a say in their sons relationships Link to comment
sharky988 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I love him but I dont want a relationship because I am afraid get hurt again. Probably yes, i am confuse and indenial of what I am feeling. Yes, you're in denial. Meeting with him was a terrible idea. You should cancel this meetup and go back to No Contact. The first month or two is the hardest but in time. if you stick to it, you'll start to feel BETTER... whereas if you continue to see and speak with him, the pain just keeps coming. Here's a guide that will help you understand the benefits of going No Contact: link removed Link to comment
aphrodite13 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Share Posted February 22, 2014 We did meet up. Yeah I know I was so stubborn to do this. He offered to pick me up at work but I preferred not to. Dinner, he ordered my favorite food. As always, he was still the same. He updates me on what is going on with his life. His future plans... his activities and work. He told me that he was happy to see me that life for me is better after our break up. He told me that I look better compared before. Then he confirmed with me if am I doing really good. I smiled at him and said yes. He told me that life is not so good for him. He got health problem, he is busy with work, doing good generally fine but empty inside. Our silence, according to him, made us realized that we were wrong. Same thing I told him when I broke up with him. He told me that he don't want my kid to get confused with our situation. He asked my future plans in life and for my kid. He encouraged me not to migrate to other country. I didn't talk much. I told him that I wanted to meet him to make sure that we are okey and it will not be awkward incase we bump each other somewhere. We had a good talk, he told me stories about His work and laughed together again. He sent me home. His last words, "I'll see you again". I just smiled. Its hard to alight from his car knowing that we might not see each other again. He wished that he should just kept me as a friend rather than losing me. Our love is not meant to be and we need to accept that. This morning I cried out loud and prayed. I feel strong again. Time will heal the wound. I just need to be patient. Our love for each other will brings us better lives that we deserve. All I can do now is to keep praying every time I feel weak. It's only my kid that matters now. I need to be strong for her. Thanks for reading. Link to comment
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