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I'm falling for a girl in a long-distance relationship. What do I do?


tstolkart

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Last year in one of my classes, I met this girl. She was a beautiful girl and I found myself immediately attracted to her. After making some small talk for a few classes I finally got her number. We have been texting ever since and I have found out that she has a boyfriend around 70 miles away who she barely sees. Recently, at our annual dance, we pretty much spent the entire night together talking and dancing. It was amazing, but I knew she had a boyfriend so I wouldn't get to kiss her at the end. At the end of the night, I expressed my feelings for her and to my surprise she said she had feelings for me as well. We have so much chemistry and I'd do anything to be in a relationship with her, it's just the guy 70 miles away is stopping me from doing it. What should I do? Should I go for it or should I just leave her alone?

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Here's what you do: You tell her that you'd love to date her if she ever decides to break up with her BF, and she should let you know if that ever happens.

 

You do not want to be her spice on the side. She might be willing to date you as long as her BF is far away and doesn't find out as a diversion because she's lonely, but if he's still officially her BF, you want no part of cheating. And you don't want to be with a girl who is willing to cheat.

 

So give her that option to let you know if she does break up with him and then it's clear sailing. But as long as she's with him, don't try to date her or that could end very badly for you.

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Agree with lavenderdove, tell her to give you a call if and when she no longer has a boyfriend and is free to date you. That you don't condone cheating and don't want either of you in that position, so it's her call. Then you move on and continue to see other girls. She may or may not contact you after that and you'll know from what she does then whether you were just going to be boy right now while boy she wants is elsewhere, and worse that you've hooked up with a cheater, or if she indeed feels something for you and is willing to explore that when she can honestly do so.

 

And no, you don't want to go for it while she has a boyfriend elsewhere. Relationships based on cheating never go anywhere and it says something pretty bad about the person's character to begin with--i.e. one day you are quite likely going to be the boyfriend being cheated on by her if you continue to push the boundaries knowing she has someone else. And no, him being long distance doesn't make her cheating on him any more acceptable. She is always free to break things off, so that she can be honest about pursuing other interests like you. If she doesn't then there's something wrong with her to begin with.

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Agreed with above posts. You two sound like you're in college. I went to college with a long distance boyfriend and realized by the second semester we should have broken up to begin with. Most high school relationships are just not meant to be, but it can take awhile and some experience to realize this. So just back off and see what happens.

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