When do you call it quits

[Leona700]

I'm having doubts. I'm not sure I see my bf as my future husband. I love him he's my best friend but I'm not sure I feel that dying passion for him. He's also still in college and I graduated. I want to start my life but I know he's not a man yet. I'm very opinionated and he's not at all. Like he dosnt te me anything exciting about his day or his life or what bothers him what dosnt bother him. I run out of things to say because he's just not a talker. Sometimes after I spend some time with him I feel like I'm ready to just be with myself. He treats me really nice and sometimes I think that's why I'm with him because no one has treated me that way. But is it enough

[emma34]

Only you can make that decision but at the end of the day if you aren't sure, just wait. Are you engaged now? Dying passion may fade over the years and life circumstances (graduating or not) will change...that's part of being in a relationship with someone...you are with him through ups, down, still in university, or not...you grow with them...but if you fundamental differences...and u are not sure if he is right for you...u can leave...no one else can decide that though but you.

[Edmund Exley]

Define dying passion

[jeremymason]

Dying passion? Not trying to be rude, but you sound rather immature. Love goes beyond that spark, that passion, that feeling inside. Its more about friendship, communication, among other things. I suggest you really think about things and put a little thought about it.

[Glowguy]

Everyone has doubts now and then but it sounds like your situation extends beyond that. It doesn't sound like you appreciate him much at all. Do you feel like you are doing him a favor by staying with him? Can you honestly say that you are still in love with him? Have you even discussed this with him? I think you need to have a conversation with him. Do your really expect to have undying passion for the next guy you meet? That is going to fade too with time and he may not treat you nearly as well. You aren't doing your bf any favors by keeping this from him.

 

Also saying that your bf is not a man is quite an insult. I would not want to be with someone who felt that way about me. He is just as much a man as you are a woman.

[His Woman]

You remind me of when I was with one of my ex's. I was with him for almost 7 years. I felt like we never had anything to talk about. I felt like he was good on paper, but not good for me. I talked to family members and some friends about my indecision on whether to break up with him. Everyone told me to stay with him because he was a "good guy."

 

But there came a point where I stopped and thought, "If I'm THIS unsure about him after this many years, then that's obviously a problem." I felt like I shouldn't have been questioning things that much. So I broke up with him. Best decision for me.

 

You haven't mentioned how long you've been with him for. But you're young. You have plenty of time to find someone who you're more compatible with.

 

Good luck.

[Batya33]

I think that you should be excited and sure about marriage to him. Not 100% of the time but reasonably close to that. If you want someone who's going to be nice to you and that's it get a puppy.