virginity dilemma...

[bluetrane]

I was talking with my girlfriend a few weeks ago and somehow we had gotten to this topic. I knew even before I asked her out that she had gone farther than I had (oral as far as I knew). By now we are extremely close and we got to the point where I felt comfortable telling her that while i was not ready now, I could see in the future considering going 'all the way' with her based on how comfortable and good we always feel around each other. She agreed which made me very happy (just to know that someone shared a similar feeling with me). I don't take the idea of sex as lightly as some do, however I am realistic about it.

 

Following her agreement,however, she said 'I don't know if you should reconsider or not...you'd probably want to share your first time with someone who was also a virgin.' I didn't understand exactly what she meant at first and then I was kind of surprised. She had never told me that she wasnt a virgin. This didn't completely bother me. I still think of her exactly the same. But the idea of her 'suggestion' kinda keeps coming back to haunt me.

 

I think about it and I get almost depressed, because when I first brought up 'us going all the way' I was doing it under the impression that we would be sharing the 'loss of each other's virginity' and it would be something very special to share. I could be naieve, but the thought of her doing that with another guy than me is so hard for me to even fathom. I still consider myself kind of young (16) to have considered this but it had to happen sooner or later. She is younger than I am which makes it even more difficult to grasp (I think its unfortunate cus I'm usually a very understanding guy). If anyone oculd help me out if you've gone through this or otherwise that'd be great. Thanks

[HaloDestroyer]

In short... everyone's gotta lose it sometime, buddy!!

 

You shouldn't think about it too much... Infact, you're lucky you can get down with an experienced partner....

 

Some people become sexually active before others, and this sounds like the case in your example...

 

Try not to let it bother you.... Not all the sex you'll have will be 'special'...

 

XxX xXx

 

Ben.

[POAS]

put the reins on your "manhood". sure you could lose it at anytime, but wouldn't you regret it if you lost it to someone you wound up hating after a horrible break up? besides, by the time you get to be my age, guys who are virgins are few and far between. and nothing makes a boy sexier (to me) than a virgin boy, that way we could share the all-important "first-time" experience if things make it far enough (AKA MARRIAGE!!!(for me)).

 

but hey, to each his own. this is really all up to you buddy. you could listen to other males talk about how they lost it and how great it was, though it also can be said that most guys who say they aren't virgins without being asked are, or you could just wait until you fall deeply in love and get married to the best woman on earth and give her something you realize you can never get back. now, hopefully, the girl you go "all the way with" is a virgin so you can both get something that the other can'tget back. then again, this could back fire both ways.

 

i know i'm babbling, but from my POV, and a girl's one at the, you should wait. at least until you've found the ABOSOLUTE one. not just one of many.

[moe42]

even though she isnt a virgin it will still be something special to share with eachother if you both feel the time is right. virgin or not sex does have some impact especually since you sound like you really like eachother. I dont think you should worry about the fact she isnt a virgin as long as you feel comfortable in having intercourse now that you know she isnt.

[Beec]

I am with moe42 on this one, but I would also not worry about it too much. If you have feelings for her and share it with her, then what else do you need? She cannot change who she is and what she did in the past. You have to either accept her as she is, or don't.

 

P.S. When and if, I'd go with "My Favorite Things" or something from "Love Supreme" rather than "Blue Train", just progam out "But Not For Me."

[justagirl20f]

I think if you're feelings are deep you should go for it, despite the fact that she's not a virgin. Just realize that you probably WILL break up at some point, and then this memory should always be a positive one, nothing negative like "I wish I hadn't"

 

Good luck!

[Yorkrose23]

Losing your virginity is a big deal. Don't do anything you're not ready for.

Before you do ask yourself if you'd ever have any regrets about losing it now to this person. It is something that will stay with you forever, make sure it's right for both of you.

Good luck!