I Feel that I May Be Alone Forever

[Ms Darcy]

I give up.

 

Some people are not actually interested in changing their circumstances. Just come here for a place to vent.

[mhowe]

Change your mindset...change your life.

Whether you believe it or not...you project your mindset. I was in a terrible place mentally last year.

Things in my life have turned around... and it must show. Random strangers say hello, strike up conversations and the only thing different is where my head is at.

 

Believe it...and it will come to pass.

[shellyf62]

I have been online dating of & on, and everything I wrote might be common sense, but trust me, so many men don't have it.

 

What about a dating agency? They cost money, but they can find a lady who is looking for what you are, and hopefully close to your area.

 

Dating isn't fun sometimes, but when you finally meet "the one for you" it will all be worth it.

[Bigdave117]

I have been online dating of & on, and everything I wrote might be common sense, but trust me, so many men don't have it.

 

Yea those things are all common sense stuff but it doesn't really mean anything. I had a profile that everybody said was well written, pictures where everybody said I looked handsome in and I went about it how you guys would recommend but it didn't result in anything except for several dozen rejections

 

Online dating from what I've seen is that you either have to look like a perfect looking male model or be incredibly charismatic and charming through just the words you speak....which is not easy at all. Most charisma for people is through their body language and their demeanor/how they carry themselves. Without that in OLD, you have to be very creative and charismatic with your messages which is very difficult

 

 

What about a dating agency? They cost money, but they can find a lady who is looking for what you are, and hopefully close to your area.

 

 

What is a dating agency? I am intrigued

[lady00]

I think I can relate to what you're going through in terms of not being interested in doing certain things that you pretty much need to do in order to date after college/grad school. I had pretty much given up on dating for the past four years (although a big thing with me is that I got to the point where it didn't actually bother me and I kinda just thought I was done with dating and was fine with being alone indefinitely). I honestly was not into doing the things that one needs to do to get one's self off the market (online dating, activities etc.) although I did meet a couple guys at professional networking events and other similar events and I had a couple of dates with those guys (but I was not there looking for dates, I was genuinely interested in networking with people in my field and learning about certain areas in my field). I don't particularly think the things you need to do to get dates are all that fun but maybe if you get into the swing of it it will become more fun over time and if the end-goal is important enough, it's worth it even if getting there is not always fun. I guess with me, I just didn't have the motivation and didn't feel strongly enough about dating to pursue it in the way one needs to if one's serious about it.

[Kricket123]

Join Crossfit--more expensive that regular gyms, but you end up actually meeting and interacting with people. And they are full of people your age.

[tiredofvampires]

I haven't read all the replies, but just wanted to comment:

 

Sorry for such a depressing title but I have to be honest with myself at this point. My lifestory is very strange - I'm a decent looking man, well dressed, makes a very good living, well educated, have plenty of friends, take pride in having excellent character yet I'm permanently single as far as it relates to the opposite gender. I wasted a lot of my best years struggling terribly with insecurity issues and fear/intimidation of women. I've overcome most or all of those issues but the problem is that now I just don't have the opportunities I used to have. I'm 24 years old and it seems like most of my friends are now married, getting married, in serious relationships, etc... I'm tired of being permanently alone.

 

First of all, as I was reading about how you've wasted "a lot of your best years" and how you're set in life, I was picturing someone at least a decade older than you, who has gone through the mill of life and women and just has a long line of failures.

 

Then, it turns out, you're 5 years out of your TEENS!!!

 

"A lot of your best years"?

 

LOLOL!!! Sorry, so sorry -- this is not meant to be mocking, but whose teen years were EVER their best years? Not just for serious dating relationships and finding solid partners, but for ANYTHING? You've just said adios to what are almost universally considered the hardest-blowing years of your life, and your "best years", at 24, have just sprouted a small green shoot on a twig!!

 

So, that's first -- I'm not sure what you expected in "a lot of" allllllll those many years to be happening besides getting ahead in school, treating zits, learning how to drive, and developing friendships. That's pretty normal for all those many years. But so is insecurity, growing pains, and working those things out as your identity crises of these most formative years start to simmer down. So you're really mostly right on schedule to be saying, "Whew -- that was rough. Okay, I'm ready to date. For reals."

 

In reality, if you took an average of any 24-year-old from anywhere in the country, what they're doing at your age is sowing their wild oats and tentatively formulating relationships that tend to be lust-driven flashes in the pan, since big commitments for life are a long ways off, while working first jobs and trying to secure a place in the world where they are somewhat independent of parents. If most of the people in your circle are starting families, getting married, etc., that tells me you're in a fairly socially conservative and not-very-cosmopolitan location. Because if you go to big cities with big ranges of social groups, young singles are everywhere, way into the 30's. Students abound, and many of them are still engaging in all that goes with that kind of life (roommates, serial relationships, hooking up noncommittally). You said you don't want to move, but just realize that you're not in a place that's teeming with the right social opportunities, and that's hurting you. So at some point, you may want to re-evaluate how important the status quo of everything else is compared to this issue being potentially resolved (not that moving is any guarantee).

 

But the other part that struck me was that bit about being "permanently single." "Permanently"? You're "tired of being permanently single." Well, then, what you're saying is that either 1. you're at the end of your life or 2. you have a magic crystal ball no one else was born blessed with, so you know how this all works out. So if it's permanent, and you know it's unfixable, why bother to post, to ask? If I had a permanent scar, I'd know that's never going to change, so I would give up putting any of my mental energy into it and accept it as a fact. So if you really believe you are "permanently single", I'd suggest you stop funneling mental energy into this because you can't hope to change an impossibly indelible state of affairs that is decided by fate, right?

 

Point is, you can't possible know what's permanent about a situation until you're on your deathbed, looking at it in retrospect. When it's all ahead of you and unknown, it's a word totally misused, but if you believe it to be accurate, then you'd just as well reconcile yourself asap and take measures to find alternative life goals.

 

This kind of talk -- factualizing the unfactual -- shows just how young you really are. There's still a lot of maturing to do, because using language like that suggests you think in very absolute terms, and absolutism is for people who haven't learned yet that nothing in this world is so hard and fast. Also, if you're talking that way, along with the "the best years of my life are gone" when frankly, you've barely reached adulthood, I would strongly urge you to re-examine whether you have had a persistent negative attitude that infiltrates aspects of your encounters. People can hide negative attitudes well, but usually they underestimate how much damage these attitudes do to their general manner of being in the world. I'd like to suggest that even before your "best years" were over, this same mentality existed: that it's now or never, that you're not keeping up with everyone else, that there's something wrong with you, that you're doomed. My guess is, you're not a positive-minded guy who has just developed this negativity streak due to bad luck, but that you really can't point to a time when you were not thinking in fatalistic and catastrophic ways about your prospects, and this is just a continuation of that approach to life.

 

You're going to need a new approach to life, as unnatural as that would feel. If for no other reason than it doesn't serve you to continue with this one.

 

I don't know if anyone else has suggested this, but volunteering is a great way to meet people, and I think it's superior for meeting the opposite sex because it's low pressure, you have an instant connecting activity that you can bond over, and people who volunteer their time usually have some solid character qualities as well. There's usually also a turnover, so you're meeting new people and depending on what you do, you're in contact with the public or others who then introduce you to people. If nothing else, volunteering gets you quickly focused on "what can I do to do something meaningful" rather than how empty your life is without x, and how lonely you are.

 

It's natural to want a partner at this stage of life...but there are many ways to make human connections so that you are not as lonely while waiting for the right meeting/opportunity to arise. The more you focus outward, the less you'll be consumed with "what about ME" feelings, which really end up being a sort of mental dead end.

[catfeeder]

You are far too young to sound like an old man.

 

If a genie jumped out of a bottle and granted your wish by guaranteeing you a partner, but the catch was that you won't meet her for another 2 years, how would you live the next 2 years?

 

And would you be happy or miserable?

[Bigdave117]

in response to Tired Vampire

 

1)I wasted some of my best years in terms of opportunities with the opposite gender. When you are in high school and college, you're constantly around ladies your own age - there are tons of easy opportunities to meet girls, to get laid (if that's what you want) and to get a girlfriend. After college, dating for men is mostly sh*t. You're running around looking for girls about your age - many of whom want to date somebody older than you anyways. You know how rarely nowadays I come accross anybody I would potentially date in my day to day life? When I was in college, I would go to 4 classes on a Tuesday filled with lovely ladies and then I would go to work where I had some people my age and then go to gym where I had people my age. Nowadays, the only time I really see girls I would date is at the gym and when I go out to bars (sometimes - if I go to a small place, there won't really be anybody there my age) and then places like grocery stores and mall stores, which is basically nothing anyways.

 

2)Every other aspect of my life right now is much better than it ever has been. I make a great income, I'm in the best shape I've ever been, I have my own place for the first time, I have a nice car, etc... but none of that matters in regards to my dating life. The level of difficulty right now for me to get a girlfriend is much much higher than when I was college and I failed miserably in dating in college anyways (although right now If I could go back in my time, I would probably have much better luck as I don't have the crippling insecurities and fear of women I used to have)

 

3)As far as my location goes, I live in a beautiful suburb 30 minutes from Chicago. This is a very nice area with a big population and lots of beautiful women. i don't know where I said that I live in the middle of nowhere. As far as people my age goes - the avg marriage age in this country is about 29 for men. That means most guys are finding the girl that they're going to settle down with and get married at 25-27...I'm turning 25 in 3 months and I've never had a girlfriend. Think about how horrible that is for one second.

 

4)When I say I'm perma-single. That means I've been perma single all the way up to this point - I never said I'm going to be that way for the rest of my life (I hope not, although it is a thought that crosses my mind all the time).

 

5)I really have no interest in something like volunteering. I work 50 (sometimes 55) hours a week to maximize my income, I work out another 6-8 hours a week and I play in a football league on Sundays. My free time is very important for me to relax, unwind and recharge myself for the next day - whether this is hanging out by myself or hanging out with my friends.

 

6)There are other ways to make human connections...okay sure that's true. I have maybe a dozen close friends right now, who are absolutely fantastic in every way - they are loving, loyal, fun, kind, generous, intelligent, entertaining and I absolutely love them to death. I have a beautiful family that I absolutely love to death - my sister and my brother in law are amazing. Guess what? None of these things make me feel any less lonely - even though I am very grateful and very happy to have them. A male friend can't be a substitute for romantic companionship, I mean come on now that's silly to imply that

 

 

I've been trying to do something in relation to dating for 8-9 years now and all i've gotten is a couple one night standards (with women I would never date), a few drunken makeouts and a few dates. That's it. I consider that a horrendous failure. I can't keep living like this. I'm going to wake up one day and be 35 years old and wonder why I've never had a girlfriend

[tiredofvampires]

If a genie jumped out of a bottle and granted your wish by guaranteeing you a partner, but the catch was that you won't meet her for another 2 years, how would you live the next 2 years?

 

And would you be happy or miserable?

 

Or for that matter, if the deal was 10 years.

[Bigdave117]

You are far too young to sound like an old man.

 

If a genie jumped out of a bottle and granted your wish by guaranteeing you a partner, but the catch was that you won't meet her for another 2 years, how would you live the next 2 years?

 

And would you be happy or miserable?

 

 

I would be fine with that. Like I said, the rest of my life is just excellent right now

 

 

Or for that matter, if the deal was 10 years.

 

 

I'm 25 right now, I don't want to have kids when I'm 40-45...although it wouldn't be the end of the world

[TheD87]

I feel the exact same way as you and it sucks, I am 26 and have only had a handful of "relationships" and none longer than a few months and all ending with me getting led on or two timed by the girl I was with. I feel like giving up and have no hope as well. I know what you are going through man and it sucks.

[Bigdave117]

My guess is, you're not a positive-minded guy who has just developed this negativity streak due to bad luck, but that you really can't point to a time when you were not thinking in fatalistic and catastrophic ways about your prospects, and this is just a continuation of that approach to life.

 

 

I forgot to respond to this. I've done a personality test before and it said something very interesting about my personality that I'm the kind of person who tends to turn a molehill into a mountain. I tend to make small problems to be something that is very very serious to me. Thankfully, this has not been a huge hindrance in my life so far in all areas except the 1 that we're talking about because I've had success in other areas. My success has stopped my mind from turning small problems into giant ones because of that

 

 

With dating, because I've never had any success, my mind has turned a little fire into a giant raging forest consuming inferno

[Bigdave117]

I feel the exact same way as you and it sucks, I am 26 and have only had a handful of "relationships" and none longer than a few months and all ending with me getting led on or two timed by the girl I was with. I feel like giving up and have no hope as well. I know what you are going through man and it sucks.

 

 

I'm not in a hopeless state

 

 

I still go out on Thursday nights and Saturday nights in the hopes that I will find a girl who is single and who fancies me. I'm very negative and pessimistic in regards to this but I wouldn't say I'm hopeless...there are times where my pessimism does go away temporarily

[tiredofvampires]

So then what you're saying is that for everyone, after college if they haven't found The One, they're SOL. 4 years of high school, when most girls (not "ladies") are learning how to insert tampons, and 4 years of undergrad, where you're in a petri dish, not real life, is it for men -- it's all downhill from there. And if they never went to college? Well, let's just hope they marry the one they mutually broke their virginity to after the prom.

 

 

 

I'm not sure I'd find contemplating this "horrible," but I can see how you would. I've been 24 before, so I know that when you have one thing you can't reconcile about your life that you feel is ruining it, it does feel horrible. It's not really a perspective of the world that's proportional, but usually someone saying that only comes off as trivializing your problem. I will say that if you can volunteer to help out where things are horrible for people (homelessness, having no family that loves them and runaways out on the streets, prisons where they have no future and no freedom because their background was anything but conducive to a decent life, etc., people with terminal illnesses, etc.) it might gift you with a much bigger view than your life. Your view is narrow now, so all you can see is this one tree, not the forest, and consequently, you're stuck in the misery because there's no other reference point.

 

 

 

So you have made a CHOICE. You have chosen work, your income, football, and other ways to spend free time over a way to meet women, which is one of the best. So then this is your prerogative, but if you're prioritizing other things over this one thing that you say, "I can't keep living like this" over, don't complain.

 

Seems like you're in a bad spot. Just not bad enough to do anything about it.

[Bigdave117]

So then what you're saying is that for everyone, after college if they haven't found The One, they're SOL. And if they never went to college? Well, let's just hope they marry the one they mutually broke their virginity to after the prom.

 

I didn't say that - what I said is that high school and college is the absolute best time to meet women as a man because of how often you are around people your age. This is pretty much an indisputable fact

 

 

Also most guys aren't freaks like me who can make 500 friends and not one of those friends seem to know any single cute girls. Most guys can meet women through their social circle. Most guys can also meet women through their job - I work in a male dominated environment. Everything in my life is lined up for me not to be successful at dating at this point

 

 

I'm not sure I'd find contemplating this "horrible," but I can see how you would. I've been 24 before, so I know that when you have one thing you can't reconcile about your life that you feel is ruining it, it does feel horrible. It's not really a perspective of the world that's proportional, but usually someone saying that only comes off as trivializing your problem. I will say that if you can volunteer to help out where things are horrible for people (homelessness, having no family that loves them and runaways out on the streets, prisons where they have no future and no freedom because their background was anything but conducive to a decent life, etc., people with terminal illnesses, etc.) it might gift you with a much bigger view than your life. Your view is narrow now, so all you can see is this one tree, not the forest, and consequently, you're stuck in the misery because there's no other reference point.

 

You probably shouldn't assume things without knowing them in the first place

 

I was born in a third world country. I came to the states with my family in 1998 and we were very poor for a long while. Me and my mom/dad have gone through a lot of struggles and we are finally all at a good place in our life

 

See you have the wrong idea of me. I am very grateful for everything that I have, I am very grateful that my family is doing well, I'm very grateful for my friends, for the fact that I live in this country, etc... Here's the thing though - none of those things can compensate for the crippling loneliness I feel. I'm almost 25 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. I wonder if I'm going to be 45 and in the same position one day

 

I don't understand why we have to relate everything to one another. The fact that I feel so lonely has absolutely nothing to do with anything else - it has nothing to do with people out there having more serious problems. If we look at it this way, then nobody in America should EVER complain because I'm sure there are people in middle of nowhere Africa who have it much much worse than even homeless Americans do. Again, it doesn't matter. I hate the situation I am in and I want to get out of this hole that I am in

 

So you have made a CHOICE. You have chosen work, your income, football, and other ways to spend free time over this way of meeting women, which is one of the best. So then this is your prerogative, but if you've prioritizing other things over this one thing that you say, "I can't keep living like this" over, don't complain.

 

 

Complete nonsense. I know a lot of people and I've never heard of anybody meeting their partner through volunteering. Guys meet their GFs through school, work and friends in the overwhelming majority of cases. In the other cases, it's usually bar/club/sports somehow (they ran track together or something like that)

[tiredofvampires]

Well, so far you've called some of the things I have discovered about life, through my own direct experience, exposure, discovery and knowledge, "silliness" and "complete nonsense," so I probably can't contribute much more. My sense of your posts is that you're an extremely rigid person. The ancient Chinese, who developed the finest and most elegant martial arts in the world based on observation about nature, rooted their core teachings in this single premise: if you are not flexible like the bamboo which can bend, you will break.

 

Bend or be broken. That does not just apply to working with our bodies, but it's a life teaching about how to work with the mind. One must be willing to continually shift their position and maximize what is in front of them, not take a hardened and rigid, rejecting, closed stand. The closed mind is to the mind what being physically unlimber will do to a man in a situation where moving the body nimbly is required.

 

So feel free to write off these things which you have never heard of. It's "silliness" to imply that a male companion is the same as a partner -- well, I actually never equated the two. You didn't really bother to understand what I said. I said that you can find ways of being less lonely by being less absorbed in yourself and more focused outward, on others. If you focus on what you can do for other people rather than what they can do for you, you will find less to feel disappointed in because usually, relying on others to fill voids is a dangerous proposition. So I was proposing an alternative -- a viable, logical, not idealistic -- alternative to a dangerous proposition.

 

Do you have a choice? That is, if you don't want to go insane?

 

I won't try to prove that people meet life partners all the time through volunteering, so we'll just let that be a point of ignorance in your experience to date. Maybe some day you'll change your mind, but if you have so little genuine interest in volunteering, as an idea of quality way to spend time, as to wave it off so cavalierly, this is not a vote for your doing it anymore.

 

I also did not presume anything about your upbringing, except that it was fortunate. Nothing there has changed with your short bio. I don't consider growing up poor to necessarily be "horrible." Also, you have quite a lot that you're wisely grateful for now, so you're in a position to either do something to pay homage to your roots, or to lose perspective, which happens after people have gotten to a certain level of achievement. (Though volunteering can be at a local public radio station, with animals, working to build houses, with children [since you said you want kids -- and lots of lovely women work with kids, probably the loveliest women you'll ever meet volunteer with children in need] -- the field is WIDE open to various types of work and activities.)

 

So I see dismissiveness, quick temperedness, oppositional vibe, rigidity, lack of interest in things beyond your own circle of influence (which is a self-centered orientation, and that doesn't translate well to the opposite sex), and a good bit of arrogance. If you think you know everything -- which you're coming accross as on this thread -- about how things should and shouldn't be, with these ironclad structures and beliefs hammered out in stone, it's likely this is going to contribute to your least preferred outcome.

[Bigdave117]

tiredofvampires, I don't understand why you keep going on these philosophical tangents that have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the main topic at hand. I don't understand what your agenda here is

 

What it comes down is that humans are social creatures by nature. We need friendship and romantic companionship to be emotionally and mentally healthy. I've met some social recluse types and you can tell that mentally they're not healthy - humans aren't solitary creatures. I've been wanting a partner for 8-9 years now with absolutely no success whatsoever. This will drive anybody insane

 

You keep making it seem like doing something else will fix the loneliness that I feel and it's just not true. Suffering is not relative - yea perhaps I don't volunteer but I've sent money back overseas to my grandpa and grandma on several occasions. It makes me feel great to help out a family members but guess what? 2 hours later, when I go out to my friend's place and I see 15 couples all extremely happy, I start to feel terrible again. These things aren't related to each other. If I go out and accomplish something great tomorrow, it won't wipe out the problems that I currently have - it will give me a high and a feeling of accomplishment and then I'll go right back to dealing with the same emotions

 

I'm just tired of dealing with this nonsense. I just wanna be normal for once - I wanna get this nonsense behind me, have a normal dating life and then move on to bigger and better things. I'm tired of focusing so much energy on this but it's something I have to do because it is massively frustrating. I try to forget about it and exclusively focus on other aspects of my life but it's like trying to leave a giant gaping wound alone - it's not going to get fixed until you properly take care of it

 

and I'm baffled by your obsession with volunteering. What are the odds that I'm going to meet a bunch of attractive and fit 24 year olds at a food shelter? 24 year old women spend their time partying, drinking, reading, watching movies, going to music concerts, shopping, etc... Come on now

[tiredofvampires]

This will drive anybody insane

 

Well, I am not insane yet. (...I hope, mwahaha!)

 

And I'm just one person. I have not even chosen to be single -- marriage and children were my top priorities in life, so I'm you in the future you dread now. I'm not saying this is going to be your fate, and I'm not saying it turns out this was better than what I had in mind. But I'm not insane, and I've grown through and past much of what you're dealing with, so I have a perspective of greater insight and ability I was trying to convey, however little you regard the "philosophy".

 

I know people who have happily chosen a single, even non-sexual route in life. Wish I had had it easy like them!

 

Pope Francis? Not a life I'd want or you'd want. But not insane.

 

There are many more people more in my league, whom I know more personally, who have either voluntarily or involuntarily come to be single, never married, etc. None of us are insane.

 

But I have nothing relevant to contribute, you say, so I will say, good luck to you.

[Bigdave117]

I'm still baffled by your philosophical tangents

 

This is not a thread about life coaching. I never asked for any advice on how to be more happy in my personal life - I'm fairly satisfied with the direction of my life outside of dating.

 

I don't get what your agenda here is

[tiredofvampires]

I never asked for any advice on how to be more happy in my personal life - I'm fairly satisfied with the direction of my life outside of dating.

 

If you don't call your dating life your "personal life", I'm not sure what you're calling it. Your professional life?

 

Now that makes 2 of us baffled.

[tiredofvampires]

I'll just add that if you're 30 mins outside Chicago, if you go to link removed (I just looked, for kicks), you'll find such an array of groups to meet people in for all enthusiasts of all ages and persuasions, I'm deeply envious -- and I live in what's considered to be a cultured state. You literally have your pick of everything at your fingertips, socially, to get involved in.

 

If girls dancing, partying, getting drunk, going to concerts, reading, shopping, etc. is what you're looking for in a 20-something year-old woman (though I originally thought you were looking for serious marriage material and said all your peers are settling down), it's an open sesame for you. Contrary to the limitations as you inaccurately presented them (that women in groups and clubs there are only 30-40-year-olds, which was but one reason I mentioned volunteering, which I've done a lot of, and met women of all ages.)

 

No lack of opps for you, so it's all going to be up to you. It sucks to know it's up to you, but there it is.

[lady00]

You've gotten a ton of great practical advice here that you should consider implementing. Dating isn't a mystery - it's a numbers game. If you are serious about meeting someone you need to be putting yourself out there always in all ways. Online, events, asking people to keep you in mind if they know anyone and introduce you to people etc. Not everyone feels that relationships are essential to happiness (I don't) but you do so start doing things that are going to make a relationship come into your life.

[Nightvision]

Count 3 as baffled. This IS life coaching.

Honestly, you've received good advice on meeting people of the opposite sex but you are shooting down everything. Trust me, I was in a similar position 1 year ago, turning down ideas and having the same negative outlook, single up until that point. It was all job - gym - hobby - sleep. At some point I tried online dating and after a year of rejections (right now a rejection barely hurts), I managed to go on dates. I'm still single but enjoying the benefits of getting to know women through online dating for now, being able to focus on my circle of friends and focus on improving myself overall.

 

Join everything you can, not to find a girlfriend but out of curiosity. That's my main drive. "Hey, I wonder what people are at the speed dating event?"

Your attitude towards the subject is going to be detrimental to success. I'm not saying I have it easy or I don't have rough patches...they pass, better times come and it's all a hilly road.

 

If your priority is meeting women, then make it your priority, screw football and go to activities that will allow you to meet women. And I personally see picking up in bars and clubs as unlikely to lead you to a quality person.

Time to save this topic to the handy notebook of ideas

[Ms Darcy]

Count 3 as baffled. This IS life coaching.

Honestly, you've received good advice on meeting people of the opposite sex but you are shooting down everything.

 

If your priority is meeting women, then make it your priority, screw football and go to activities that will allow you to meet women. And I personally see picking up in bars and clubs as unlikely to lead you to a quality person.

Time to save this topic to the handy notebook of ideas

 

I agree with this. Just spent some time with some homeless folks who are, to say the least, in tough life circumstances and yet they have incredible hope, love, and optimism. Now is the time to be grateful and eager to learn. Some people, especially priviledged, are not willing. It's not worth the effort trying to convince.

 

Sometimes, they just need an outlet to vent.

 

OP, no advice to offer as you are not looking to keep working hard at it and to improve your attitude. So, I'll just say I hear you. I am sure others feel the same way. Perhaps you should volunteer (consistently) in a soup kitchen or a shelter and get a little perspective on how great your life is and how much love is indeed in your life.