I Feel that I May Be Alone Forever

[Bigdave117]

Sorry for such a depressing title but I have to be honest with myself at this point. My lifestory is very strange - I'm a decent looking man, well dressed, makes a very good living, well educated, have plenty of friends, take pride in having excellent character yet I'm permanently single as far as it relates to the opposite gender. I wasted a lot of my best years struggling terribly with insecurity issues and fear/intimidation of women. I've overcome most or all of those issues but the problem is that now I just don't have the opportunities I used to have. I'm 24 years old and it seems like most of my friends are now married, getting married, in serious relationships, etc...

 

 

I socialize a lot...I try to go out 2-3 times a week but I just don't meet any women in my day to day life. I don't know what it is, none of my friends know any single women. More and more it seems like my only choice is the cold approach, something that I know is very very difficult and a very low success rate %. I realize the overwhelming majority of women have several men (more than several?) courting them at all times in their social circle so trying to overcome that when you have no rapport with a girl can be very difficult

 

 

I just don't know how to be optimistic at this point. Year after year after year goes by and I'm still in the same position. I'm tired of being permanently alone. I'm perfectly happy with the rest of my life, this is the only thing in my life that I just cannot seem to solve. I don't want to be the 40 year guy who has never had a girlfriend

[mhowe]

Focus on your career and your interests/passions. You will find a like minded woman in due time. Early 20's when a lot of your friends get married is hard. However, by 30 when the first round of divorce hits...you will be happy to have waited for the right one.

[Ms Darcy]

You should try online dating to meet single women. Also join meetup groups ... even in surrouding cities ... to get to meet and become acquaintances with women who may be single.

 

Don't drown in self-pity. You are only 24! Just start putting yourself out there.

[Bigdave117]

Focus on your career and your interests/passions.

 

 

I already do this...my job is especially my biggest focus

 

 

But making money or being good at a certain hobby doesn't help me feel any less lonely

[Bigdave117]

You should try online dating to meet single women. Also join meetup groups ... even in surrouding cities ... to get to meet and become acquaintances with women who may be single.

 

Don't drown in self-pity. You are only 24! Just start putting yourself out there.

 

 

I've done online dating for a short period of time and it was just rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection even though I had pictures I felt I looked pretty good in and I showed it to a bunch of random people on dating sites who all said I looked handsome. I'm a fluent writer as well. It's something I really despise

 

 

Meet up groups around here is all people in their 30s and 40s

[mhowe]

Well...a pity party doesn't help either. Network professionally, join a group that shares your hobbies, take a singles vacation. You are only limited by your imagination.

[Ms Darcy]

So meet people in their 30s and 40s.

[Bigdave117]

So meet people in their 30s and 40s.

 

 

I'm looking for ladies around 22-28 years of age

[mhowe]

Sign up for a singles cruise---ratio of men to women skewed in your favor. Take.a yoga class. Join a gym.

[Bigdave117]

Sign up for a singles cruise---ratio of men to women skewed in your favor. Take.a yoga class. Join a gym.

 

 

I've never heard of a singles cruise, especially in my area. It's not something that is very common and I don't know if I want to date somebody who lives 300 miles away

 

 

I've been working out since I was 13. I look like a football player with a big upper body

 

 

Yoga is not something I enjoy. Doing something that I hate to meet women will come accross as incredibly insincere

[mhowe]

Well. By definition, a singles cruise is on a large ship. And singles from all over the country sign up.

But whatever. You have shot down any advice given. Good luck.

[Bigdave117]

Well. By definition, a singles cruise is on a large ship. And singles from all over the country sign up.

But whatever. You have shot down any advice given. Good luck.

 

 

Won't that probably have a lot of women in their 30s and 40s anyways? I can't imagine many 23 or 24 year old women wanting to go on a singles cruise or even being able to afford it in the first place

[Ms Darcy]

So, ready to give up. Cause the negativity is not helping you. Use your brain and come up with some ideas.

[Bigdave117]

So, ready to give up. Cause the negativity is not helping you. Use your brain and come up with some ideas.

 

 

The reason I am posting on here is because I haven't really thought of anything by myself

[shellyf62]

What do you write in your online dating profile? If you write how handsome you are, what a great job you have, how awesome you are etc etc etc, single ladies will think you are a douche.

 

Try to write something natural, your likes & dislikes, your hobbies, what music you like, and put a nice natural happy pic as your profile pic.

 

Don't put one of those staged work ones, or a posing one. They are too over the top. And absolutely NO shirtless ones, you come accross as a player.

 

When you write to a lady try & include something you read in her profile, maybe comment on something she likes, then it shows you took the time to read about her. Don't ever send a "whatsup" or a "hello".....try to stand out from the pack, and show her you are intelligent & different.

 

Good luck

[pippy longstocking]

well I might as well put my ten penneth worth in , but I live in crazy town dave so you have to remember that

 

I believe in the power of the universe ..cosmic ordering ...

 

there is heap of stuff to read on the law of attraction ..this is just one link to see if it is something you feel drawn to .

 

link removed

 

regardless of your opinions on the universe , I still want to encourage you to have a positive outlook even when the despair hits ..you sound like a decent fella and you are only 24 ...give life a chance with a smile on your face .

[Bigdave117]

What do you write in your online dating profile? If you write how handsome you are, what a great job you have, how awesome you are etc etc etc, single ladies will think you are a douche.

 

Of course, that's common sense. I posted that in my OP just to describe my life story

 

Try to write something natural, your likes & dislikes, your hobbies, what music you like, and put a nice natural happy pic as your profile pic.

 

Yep that's exactly what I did

 

When you write to a lady try & include something you read in her profile, maybe comment on something she likes, then it shows you took the time to read about her. Don't ever send a "whatsup" or a "hello".....try to stand out from the pack, and show her you are intelligent & different.

 

That's exactly what I did as well and I got rejected probably 40 times in a week even though every random person on the net I showed my pictures to all said I'm handsome. Horrible experience

 

Online dating is horrible

[mhowe]

In this day and age there are many 24 year old women who can afford to do it. And they go on a singles cruise with a group of their gfs because they want to have a good time...and meet single men.

 

Your pessimistic attitude comes off you in waves.

What are your hobbies? Skiing? Biking? Chess?

[Bigdave117]

In this day and age there are many 24 year old women who can afford to do it. And they go on a singles cruise with a group of their gfs because they want to have a good time...and meet single men.

 

I don't know. It just seems very very extreme to me - I want to meet somebody that lives somewhere near me. I'm very settled here with my family, friends, my job...I'm not really interested in moving. U want me to spend 1100 dollars and pray that there is going to be a girl there who is near my age who lives somewhere near me when the majority of the people on those cruises are going to be 30 and 40 year olds who live all over the country? What am I really accomplishing?

 

 

Your pessimistic attitude comes off you in waves.

 

 

The sad thing is that I'm a very positive person in every other aspect of my life. Dating has been such a force of constant frustration and misery for me that it's very difficult for me to be positive about it

 

 

What are your hobbies? Skiing? Biking? Chess?

 

 

Sports, food, videogames, music, movies, TV shows, lifting weights, playing football. I'm kinda open to everything as well

[mhowe]

Well...aim for a target rich environment.

Cooking classes, wine clubs, gyms, church.

College alumni events, community projects, volunteering.

[Bigdave117]

Cooking classes

 

This is a good idea and it's something I would do but whenever I look up classes, it's always when I work

 

wine clubs

 

I went to a couple, not bad but it was just a bunch of couples from what I can remember

 

gyms

 

Lots of gorgeous women at the gym but ladies hate getting approached at the gym. That's the ultimate douchebag spot for doing that

 

 

church.

 

If a girl is an avid churchgoer, that's probably a deal breaker for me. I don't like religion at all

[mhowe]

I give up.

[Bigdave117]

I give up.

 

 

i'm sure this is my fault, but whenever anybody tells me to approach women in a certain situation and environment, I just see an infinite amount of obstacles in the way

 

 

It absolutely baffles me how so many guys are able to date. I find dating to be about as comprehensible as reading a quantum physics book written in Mandarin

[mhowe]

Because where you see infinite obstacles, they see infinite possibilities.

[Bigdave117]

Because where you see infinite obstacles, they see infinite possibilities.

 

 

You're absolutely right

 

I'm just stuck in this rut of negativity that it's seemingly impossible for me to be optimistic

 

All I want is a GF by the way. I don't know if I made that clear enough...do not give a single about sleeping around