I did EVERYTHING wrong

[zdfg]

I did everything wrong. And so did she. I'm not asking to be analyzed or to try to analyze it myself. It is what it is.

 

We finally came back together after 4 long and painful months. Without getting into detail I'll just say I experienced every pain, anguish, anger, sorrow that was possible. ALL my fears and nightmares turned out to be real. It was everything that I imagine can be experienced during these times. She almost drank herself to death trying to forget me. We did hurtful things to one another, trampled others in our pain, were used by people taking advantage of our situation.

 

I don't know what the magic formula is, if there is one. I do know that when two people honestly love one another that sometimes against all logic, they run away in opposite directions only to find themselves standing together in the same place. As much as I wanted to forget her, as much as she wanted to erase me - we could not. Now we're engaged, and moving back in together. I have no doubts or fear this time. The Phoenix does burn and arise from the ashes sometimes. Take heart with your situation. If there is genuine love (and yes I know it takes work too) even the most misguided situation can resolve itself. Just my experience.

 

Thank you enotalone for the respite you gave me at times as I read the experiences of others. It gave me comfort at times, calmed my worried mind, helped me see I was not alone.

[pippy longstocking]

I wish you both love and happiness

[SooSad33]

Very good Wish you two the best. Yes, it does hurt to lose one you came to love so deeply.

 

Take care

[SeattleSigh]

Awesome man. Good luck.

[Hopelessromant]

I feel like this post was made for me. I was actually talking about my love being a Phoenix so I'm shocked to read this. I do feel I did everything wrong and know this space is to work on myself. Even though we are broken up I do not want to give up on my love. I hope this allows him to realize how strong our love is and his feelings for me. For a while it was lost because of all our fights.

[Hopelessromant]

By the way, in the four months had you guys talked? Or nc

[sadsadguy]

@zdfg, I read your post 5-6 times because it makes me so happy to read it again and again. I recently broke up and I can understand how happy you would be to get her back.

May this pair last forever, I wish I too get chance to write a similar post soon.

All the best

[zdfg]

@ Hopelessromant - I don't think there was ever any real no contact at all. We both managed to insinuate ourselves back into places where we would exchange emails, etc. I was just at that final point of acceptance and moving on when she called me. I had been dating a beautiful girl for about a month who I dropped like a hot potato.

 

SO - THE IRONY........I JUST got off the phone with her. I am away on business. She cheated on me yesterday. We had been back together for just under a month. I guess it was all just a façade. I kind of have to laugh a little. At least I can walk away with a clear conscience. Sorry to disappoint all of you hoping to read a happy ending - I was happy to put it up here yesterday. I know I always enjoyed those on this sight.

 

My happy ending is that I can walk away with a clear conscience and her guilt is something she'll have to live with the rest of her life. I told her I never wanted to see or hear from her again. And this time I intend to stand by my word. It is what it is.

[pippy longstocking]

oh nooooooooooooo

 

oh I am so sorry ....

[JJoj]

Sorry to hear about that....

[zdfg]

No - I was doing everything wrong. including trusting this person. Two posts up I mention she cheated on me the night I posted this and I went permanent NC...forever.