ex assault..still reeling.

[randy33]

it definitely felt like an attack. ( two men, me 33 him 26)

 

He cheated on me 2 months back, and when I asked him if he had sex with this person his response" its none of your business! and if you don't stop asking me im dumping you!!"..meanwhile this person he had been with was in the other room!

 

my response: I threw him out of the house and put his stuff on the lawn in the rain and gave him 100$ for a moving truck...most of it under a tarp, but some of it got soaked/ damaged..books and things. He was NOT allowed back in the apartment ( I paid the rent ) ...this response was after months of him talking to me like garbage and belittleing, stonewalling and taking advantage and being a spoiled brat. I had had enough! Noone in his life ever made him have consequuences for his actions and he got away with being a brat..I was excercising a bit of tough love..well tough luck

( for him) I treated him well and let him get away with a lot..felt like the parent sometimes with an angry teenager.. he needed to be in control of everything and didn't deal with any conflict other than by walking away..so frustrarting because I treated him like a prince. I bottled up soo much of my frustrations and just snapped on him that night I found out he cheated.

 

I have since apologized for my reaction ( not my shining moment ) but I had truly had enough and was unwilling to take his BS anymore. YOu don't get to cheat on me in the house we share and then walk all over me and expect me to not snap on you when you treat me so disrespctfuly

 

2 months of NC and he messages me to tell me he would never get back together with me. and that im horrible and this and that and not to even make eye contact with him if I see him out....Me: shocked.

 

I was thinking that the time passed would soften and heal him ( it did me ) I have forgiven and let go. I no longer hold out for him to be coming back..hadn't contacted him whatsoever. why bother being so hateful? I called him and tried to say " whoa buddy how are you this angry after 2 months, and managed to make some headway in a positive manner ( getting him to see that he was not an angel, hearing MY feelings for once ) he hangs up and he writes me again and said he was hurting still and needed to NOT see me in order to heal. But why the F wouldn't he just write to tell me THAT, rather than this random assault message that is soo destructive.

 

except the idea of this toxic tension between us is a bit draining for me. I don't know why but it seems to be taking my energy out of me..feeling emotionally and physically drained today..like I just got attacked and fought a war.. he comes back into my life ( guns blazing ) just to tell me all that negativity and hatred??..why bother?...Why the hell does he HATE me sooo much???... Yes, I threw him out in the rain and told him to get out of my life..but he cheated on me and was soooo MEAN about it! I have taken responsibility for my actions and apologized..why cant he?

 

 

 

 

IM going NC again..but is it irrational to think that he would have forgiven me? I think if I can, he can.

[savignon]

It's been a short amount of time. He must not anyone else to step on at the moment and needed you as a punching bag. Tell him not to contact you again.

[JJ2980]

Good on you! This man was emotional/mentally abused you and was a mooch to boot. He doesn't deserve your time, efforts or attention.

 

Keep on walking. You know you deserve better.

[catfeeder]

Next goal for you: stop caring what he thinks.

 

Head high.

[toby17]

He cheated on me 2 months back, and when I asked him if he had sex with this person his response" its none of your business! and if you don't stop asking me im dumping you!!"...

 

I have since apologized for my reaction

 

Seriously? What have you got to apologise for?

 

I have taken responsibility for my actions and apologized..why cant he?

 

Because he's not normal and when you apologised he decided that was because you were wrong.

 

He's furious because you're not his doormat anymore. Dude sounds narcissistic to me - like the idea that you're a real person with real feelings etc is something he can't comprehend.

 

Wow, this sounds like the clearest case of good riddance to me.

[Limiya]

Stop apologizing to him. You did the right thing by throwing him out in the rain. He completely disrespected you in the biggest way possible, and yet you're still apologizing to him and wanting him in your life in some way.

He is the one playing the victim. Trying to make you feel bad about him, and throwing everything in your face like a child does. Wake up! He was the person who cheated on you. He should be apologizing to you, not the other way around.

 

I think as said above, you should cut contact with this guy completely. Move forward with life, and only entertain people who have similar morals and beliefs as you do. Not narcissistic people, they kill your self esteem.

 

Limiya

[chitown9]

Yes, he sounds like he has a Narcisstic Personality Disorder. Research it and be glad you are done with him. chi.... chi

[catfeeder]

If you're going to reach for violent terms like 'assault' and 'attack,' then why remain in contact with him in the first place?

 

Either block his calls or delete his messages. If he's an attacker, why are you even dealing with him?