mysty Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 My ex broke up with me about a 2 month ago. We had a very strong and intense chemistry and connection. We got on so well and we were good together. He asked me to be his girlfriend after like one date but I decided only after the 3rd date . We always missed each other and would always say that. He had really strong feelings for me said I love you after about 3 weeks and said it a lot. ( we were still so close and got on well always texted each other. I randmoly decided to text him I l love you. He didn't reply until I sent a text about another thing, Then the next day he said he's scared how things are moving between us and he didn't want a relationship til he met me. I don't know what it is. I'm afraid of hurting you and myself I'm just confused. I replied back he wasn't saying anything else so I kept messaging him about 3 times in a row in the space of 2 hours. The next day I sent a long message then he replied saying Like I honestly don't know what's going on in my head. I really don't. I hurt when you said "I thought you were a good guy" I am. I've always treated you right. I just don't know what I want in life right now. I hate my job and most of my life to be honest. I'm not the right guy for you you deserve way better" I tried contacting him each time to be ignored. I decided to try 30day no contact because I wanted him back but 25 day he text me "Wanna hook up" I replied stupidly the next day in a jokey way and he was being serious about it. During the week I decided to text him to see what he'd say he was up for it but in the end decided to block me on whatsapp and I sent a text saying I didn't mean it and wasn't thinking straight. I also sent "I still think of you and wonder how you're doing" no reply . I've been moving on it's been 4 weeks at 2am he texted me "Are you awake?" he works the night shift we always talked . this is 22days no contact. I saw it in the morning and didn't reply. He's still with the girl he jumped into a relationship with after dumping me. Why won't he stop texting me? He's blocked me again as he saw I ignored the message. What does he want? is he missing me in some way? This is the 2nd time after I've stopped texting him he's messaged me Has he maybe never had the chance to actually move on since I was always trying to get him back or replied back when he texted? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendahke Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 He won't stop texting you because you won't won't block him and you won't stop contacting him. You keep throwing him a rope. Stop doing that. You need to tell him that unless he's contacting you to tell you that he's sorry, he made a mistake, he wants to be with you and he's dumping his current girlfriend to be with you and will do everything to make it up to you, to just leave you alone and quit contacting you. Block him from contacting you. That will solve all of your problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysty Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 Can I just tell him to never contact me again? like say "I will never be contacting you again so please stop contacting me as we are over." I don't want him back but I want to let him know I don't care anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmund Exley Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Can I just tell him to never contact me again? like say "I will never be contacting you again so please stop contacting me as we are over." I don't want him back but I want to let him know I don't care anymore. You can do what ever you want! That's the best part. Tell him exactly what you just told us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysty Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 You can do what ever you want! That's the best part. Tell him exactly what you just told us Is that message to the point? it's not a bad message? or do I just keep moving forward with the no contact? or the more I do the no contact will he be thinking I'm going to wait for him to try to message me again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Lol...no don't message him. I think silence is worse, because if you DO message him and he ignores you, you'll wonder if he GOT it....then he's rejecting you again.its a game. Don't play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysty Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 Actually yeah I could see how stupid it would be to text him telling him and if I did technically he's getting a reaction out of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendahke Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Can I just tell him to never contact me again? like say "I will never be contacting you again so please stop contacting me as we are over." I don't want him back but I want to let him know I don't care anymore. Blocking his number will get the exact same point accross without you having to be drawn into a protracted conversation in an effort to get you to change your mind because that message will launch him into trying to change your mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysty Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 I actually do get a bit of a ego boost everytime I ignore his messages so I decided to unblock it as I know I can deal with him texting it doesn't bother me whether he texts me or not. With him I feel like he's never moved on and doesn't mean he is over me properly the way he acted on impulse breaking up jumping straight to a new relationship and I've texted a lot. Then everytime I start to ignore him he wonders why I haven't been texting and wants to see if I'm still around waiting for him. I'm not playing any Tom and Jerry games anymore it seems like thats what we've been doing. Possibly everytime he texts he's acting on feelings he has on that moment and just has a soft spot for me but that doesn't mean he wants me back. I don't mind either way as I'd much rather date someone new then work on trying to trust somebody again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amipushy Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 With him I feel like he's never moved on and doesn't mean he is over me properly the way he acted on impulse breaking up jumping straight to a new relationship and I've texted a lot. Then everytime I start to ignore him he wonders why I haven't been texting and wants to see if I'm still around waiting for him. I'm not playing any Tom and Jerry games anymore it seems like thats what we've been doing. Possibly everytime he texts he's acting on feelings he has on that moment and just has a soft spot for me but that doesn't mean he wants me back. Dont be so naive. He isnt contacting you for those reasons. ThIS is why he contacts you... link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmund Exley Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 If it doesnt bother you, why are you here asking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Actually yeah I could see how stupid it would be to text him telling him and if I did technically he's getting a reaction out of me. He's enjoying the ride when he gets a reaction out of you, especially since he dumped you for another girl. You're playing directly into his hand--why torture yourself when you have the power to stand up and ignore him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysty Posted November 8, 2013 Author Share Posted November 8, 2013 He's enjoying the ride when he gets a reaction out of you, especially since he dumped you for another girl. You're playing directly into his hand--why torture yourself when you have the power to stand up and ignore him? I did ignore him and not text back? the other times he did. I'm just not bothered and my first reaction to him texting me was "why are you texting me you have a girlfriend I've moved on" I never once thought about texting him back. Maybe for a few hours feelings came back and then I quickly forgot them so a few hours ago I was thinking things but now I'm not I stepped back to reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysty Posted November 8, 2013 Author Share Posted November 8, 2013 Dont be so naive. He isnt contacting you for those reasons. ThIS is why he contacts you... link removed Thats very interesting thats actually why I didn't respond as I thought if I text him back then he'll ignore me again for a while then text me I text back he ignores we'll just keep going in circles and I decided I didn't want to do that and do want to move forward and not be waiting around for him like I was doing before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QWit Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 baggage reclaim is quoted a lot on this forum.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 try to rethink it like this: you don't care why he is texting you. you care only that he does not offer you what you desire. therefore, he is of no interest to you and how he chooses to (mis)manage his life is irrelevant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firefly2613 Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 Stop talking to him. Block him. He contacts you because he wants to know you still want him, which will stroke his ego. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysty Posted November 8, 2013 Author Share Posted November 8, 2013 Yeah I'm not going to contact him , when I look back I don't even know why I liked him. He's not even the most attractive guys he's pretty average there are way better looking guys. He's not even really my type the more I think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysty Posted November 9, 2013 Author Share Posted November 9, 2013 I do know I should move on it's probably just me second guessing trying make sure I'm doing the right thing when I know that's the best thing to do. I had almost completely forgotten him until he texted me. I do know exactly what he's doing I always had a feeling as soon as I move on he's probably going to text me which always happens I just didn't expect it to be so quickly. I mean he's some guy texting me then because I don't reply texts me again and he even had a picture of this girl on his shoulders as the profile . I had a picture of my and Lee from Blue as my profile picture so I don't if he thinks it's a boyfriend he may not be familiar with him. He's really pathetic like he's not even trying to hide the fact he's some guy. I'm not going to be anyones backup and any attempt he has made to contact has been very lazy or low. This was my original feeling I just lost focus of the situation for a while. I'm back on track now. I keep reminding myself he seems like a cheat and not a person to trust and I don't even find him attractive as he's not even a guy I'd usually even like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysty Posted November 29, 2013 Author Share Posted November 29, 2013 He texted me again even after I ignored his last text. He sent it at 2.47am it just said "Hi" . He hasn't blocked me again yet he knows I've ignored it. What does he want? it seems the more i ignore the more he tries. Should I ignore it? I'm thinking I should as you can't reply much to "Hi" and I've moved on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 What does he want? Same as before. To know that you are responsive to him. This makes him feel comfortable in the knowledge that he can fall back on you any time he may need to. You said previously that it gives you an ego boost to know that you are ignoring him, well it gives him an ego boost to know that you are NOT. Until he actually says to you that he wants you back then a text simply saying "Hi" means diddly squat. Seeing as the texts don't really bother you and you don't want him back then you may as well ignore him. He as a gf so has no business contacting you or even expecting a response. If, however, you are finding that his texts are irritating you then you are quite within your rights to tell him not to contact you any more. Something along the lines of "Please don't keep contacting me. You have made your choice now you need stick to it and leave me to get on with my life". However I'm sure if you keep on ignoring him for long enough he will get the message anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysty Posted November 29, 2013 Author Share Posted November 29, 2013 I'll just ignore him I was thinking that was best and a "Hi" leads nowhere and it was another early morning text. I think he may have rang me last week on private number but I missed the call . I still seem to be lingering in his mind for whatever reason. I'm just thinking of it like this until he makes his intentions clear there's no need to respond even if what him saying he wants me back and I didn't I might respond and tell him that I don't or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 Well you can cross that bridge if you come to it. For now just ignore it. As I said above he has no business texting you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysty Posted November 29, 2013 Author Share Posted November 29, 2013 Does he miss me at all if he is still trying to text me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pixiebob Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 It sounds like you want him back or your ego stroked. Sorry but that how it reads to me. Take time out and look within. What do you really want, and when you know tell him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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