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Am i making the right move, i dont even know what im doing!!!!!!!!!! bigbro


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im a 22 yr old male from dallas tx studying for my asavab to enlist into the marines. im from a single parent home of 5- 2boys 3girls. my mother (40) and grandmother (56) are recovering from drugs. no father figure which i had to take on that role since the age of 5 and my brothers is two years younger than me.



my mother has a bf come over and do nothing but sit in there room allday emotionally abandoning us since we were young. shes been on drugs on and off creating a hostile environment and unstable place for us to live. sometimes she manipulates us by borrowing money from us when we work and not paying us back. lying to us telling us that our fathers dont love us or they dont do this or that only to find out that she was the reason they left.( two different fathers )


im living away right now with my grandmother. but my brother doesnt have a father and he needs some kind of guide or support im sure from a man in the mist of all that crazyness. problem is im not in school no car, i have a job but im not a man yet myself. im working on it but dont you guys think in order for me to fix this(my family) show up infront of my brother as a strong and positive role modeled man id have to be on my own two feet before i take action. or can i do something now.


if i leave to the corp ill be gone for awhile and who knows what theyll do to my brother hes a good kid. but if i stay and not turn into a greater man what will become of this whole situation. im the light around here. i know i had trouble exsplaining this but i asure you its hard.

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Hi Levi, sorry, that is a very tough situation.


I am not sure if everyone will agree with me, but I honestly think the corp might be a good solution for you. You don't need to completely abandon your brother, stay in touch with him, let him know you care, try to guide him. But just sending him money now...that will eventually go to your mom...and probably drugs. Stand on your own two feet, learn discipline, take care of yourself and then you will be fully capable of helping your brother.


It sounds like you have a big heart, I truly commend you for thoughtfulness and care for your brother. But become the man you want to be, keep your brother in your life, and once you're ready get him out of there and help him out.


Welcome to the forum, I really wish you the best.

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How old is your brother? If you are 22, I imagine he can't be too far from 18. Joining the military will set a great example for him of what he can do, too. Steady source of income, housing (okay, so probably in barracks with a bunch of other guys), meals, opportunities for career advancement, money for college if or when you finish your contract and get out. I think it's great that you are working to improve yourself. Perhaps your brother will do the same or something similar.


If you do join the marines, take a couple words of advice. Don't marry the girl you meet at basic or initial entry training. If you do find a great girl there, date for a couple years first. Don't marry someone you've known for a month just so that you can be stationed together and live off base. Bad, bad idea. Second, don't buy a car from the car dealership within a 10 mile radius of a military base. They will try to screw you with the loan rate. Save money so you can make a big down payment and minimal loan. Ask your platoon sergeant to help guide you when searching for a car to buy.

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Have you visited a recruiter to take a "practice ASVAB"? It can give you an idea of how you will do and what occupational specialties you could be considered for. Recruiters can't help you to score better but I'm pretty sure they have practice exams they can let you try out.

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Unfortunately staying because you are afraid of what might happen to your brother is not going to do either of you any good. You are right in the fact that in order to provide him with a good example of what a real man is like, you have to actually do something (like joining the military) that actually shows him what a good man does to become an even greater man. And that is to learn obedience, humility, strength, bravery and confidence to be able to go out into the world the right way and to provide for your family in the way they deserve.


Joining the military and leaving your brother (and other siblings) will be hard, but I think it is necessary in order for you to have a better life than what you are used to. If you are living with your grandmother now, is there any reason why your brother can't do the same when you leave? It seems the environment there is a little better than what is at your mother's home.


No matter what, you seem like a very mature boy who knows what he has to do in order to be happy and live a good life. I am confident you will make the right decision for the betterment of your future. You will also be showing your brother that he does not have to accept the situation status quo, and that he too can do something to better his future and his life when the time comes.

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