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Hi there,


I just wanted to vent and to ask for support if it is on offer and also advice.

Basically I had a full time good paying job for 2 years. At the start of the job I was bullied several times by this nasty girl and nothing was done about it. It just went on from there.. the company didn't support their employees or look after them, I became very unhappy etc... so I quit about 2 months ago now with no job to go on to. I am now living with my dad and step mum (who obviously doesn't respect my decision) and I have tried desperately to get a new job (I am 15k in debt living off the government)

I don't just want any job I want a career but I don't know what I want to do. I know it's not the end of the world but I am very uncomfortable in my house as I know they do not like me living here rent free so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place

I guess what I need to hear is some assurance that it gets better. I am so depressed and confused I have often thought about suicide and how much easier everything would be if I just go away.

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The deed is done, and all you can do is to take one step at a time. Obviously, finding another job would be your top priority. Do you know what kind of career you want? And if so, do you have the professional skills to offer or have some specialty training to pursue the career you want? If not, once you find a job, you should try going back to school/training program for part-time to gain the skills required for the career you want.


For one year in my life, I had a hard time finding a job in the professional field I wanted, but I had bills to pay, so I took a retail job, something I had had experience with since high school. It didn't pay much, and though I'm great with customer service, it wasn't a job I enjoyed much. It was something temporary until I found a better position and was the responsible thing to do. Once you get another job, whatever it happens to be, it'll help your confidence a lot more, even if it's just in retail.


As for your parents, they would have the right to be upset. However, is your relationship so bad with them, that it can't be smoothed over somehow? Maybe help mow the lawn, shovel the snow, take out the garbage, do the dishes, mop the kitchen floor, cook a nice dinner, here and there to make up for the rent-free living? Those gestures will show them that you are at least trying with them.


Don't give up.

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You can't make a move until you know what you want, so you need to figure out what you want. See if a local college or university has career counselling services (and how much they cost). Try getting the book "What Color is Your Parachute" from your local library and doing the exercises. A librarian may be able to refer you to another book if you don't like that one.


I know what it's like to quit a job you're not happy with, to quit a place where you feel you've been abused. Been there, done that. It's a deeply demoralising experience and draining. I also took about 6 weeks off to just decompress. However, I didn't have parents I could stay with and had to get back to work. So I do understand that you've needed a break. But, you're going to eventually wear out your welcome. Get started on a plan, remember what you're good at, what you wanted to do when you were younger. You may need to go back to school, depending on what your skills are and what you're drawn to. Try and find a part time job, if nothing else, because the longer you're out of work, the harder it's going to be to get back into it. Even if you're curious about a certain career and can get an internship to try it out, that might help you figure out what you want to do.


Best of luck to you!

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Thank you for your response. The job market is just very harsh at the moment so I am doing the best I can.


As for my parents I do the housework every week and during the week I tidy the kitchen, take the garbage out and do whatever needs doing. My step mum is very controlling of my dad and I don't believe he would be treating me like this if it wasn't for her. But that's a different story...



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Yes, I get that, too. I've had the beeyotchy step mother issue as well. And you're only 20! A lot of people don't know what they want to do at double your age, it's perfectly normal that you would be confused about where you want your life to go now. It's not like you're just sitting around, smoking a bowl and playing video games. Definitely find a local school that will give you some career counselling or testing and see what comes of it.

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