how to change his style of dressing?

[bit3yerlip]

i met this guy from the internet. We got 2gther before we met in real life. it was kind of happening. last night we met face to face.. it was another CLICK. it was fun, happening, we get along well. not only in the internet. he proposed to get serious with him n yes i agreed 2 get serious with him... The problem is, i didnt really like what i saw..... there's this light blue jacket he wore besides his simple normal white shirt. when i was cold he pass me his jacket, n boy i reli liked the white simple shirt. i like it when he didnt wear the jacket.....another one is his jeans... i want my guy to be open n relax about himself n feel comfortable...... the jeans that he wore didnt reli look like he's the chill kind.... but he IS the chill kind. honestly the jeans looked a bit..........gay. it would be nice if he changes it to those comfortable, bigger jeans.

Is there any idea for me to bring up the subject to him n make him buy new jeans n wear the simple shirt, n just LOOK SIMPLE?? he and i are open about everything, but i dont want to sound rude to him. I was thinking of calling him up when i want to go shopping for clothes , so he will be accompanying me n i have a chance to buy him nicer jeans... or should i as a gf, tell him what clothes i like n dont like on him? or just surprize him by wrapping up the jeans like a present?

its not that i dont love him for who he is..... i love everything about him, but just that i want him to feel comfortable n look comfortable. cos honestly he didn't look comfortable... but just acts comfortable.

[in_the_mirror]

you should go shopping with him and just point out clothes, and say something like "you would look so hott in this..." or something like that.

[bit3yerlip]

allrite =) haha that would be really nice. thx

[SkyFire]

If you dont like his style, doesent mean he doesent. Dont try to "change" guys, we hate that. Give hints about it, but dont be too pushy.

[ReadyorNot]

I dont think its fair to change his style of dress.... I dont think he would do it to you...

 

When I met my bf he was into like jeans with HUGE bottoms (liek around the ankle).. he dressed like a little punk.... But I liked him for who he was and now I love him....

 

We are 24 now (20 when we met) and I WISH he would dress differently... more mature... maybe more like the style of clothing his brother wears but I cant change who he is and what he feels comfortable in.. he wouldnt feel like himself if he was wearing anything else... I feel like he is still dressing like a little boy.. but what can I do? I LOVE HIM FOR HIM!

[Meow18]

I agree with ReadyorNot. Its not fair to try to change his clothing. Maybe he feels comfortable in what he's wearing. Just because you don't think he looks comfortable in it, doesn't mean he isn't.

 

I don't know the kind of clothes you wear, but what if he told you that he thought you should change your style? What if he told you that he preferred you wearing nothing but really short skirts all the time?

 

I don't think that there's anyway to tell a person to change their style of clothing that wouldn't sound rude. I would feel really horrible if my boyfriend told me that he thought I should change my style.

 

I think you need to ask yourself if you can still be with him despite his clothes. If you can't walk around in public because your too embarrassed or something, then something is wrong. You need to love him for him. If you can't get over his clothes, then thats something you need to get over. You can't expect him to change. You shouldn't make him change. Thats who he is.

[DBL]

Normally I would agree, but if he is wearing gay clothes then you should just say you look gay with those jeans and jacket. You would look much better in this and that. Then let him pick some stuff out for you. Even up the playing field.

 

DBL

[ShySoul]

Just because you don't think he's comfortable in his clothes, doesnt mean he doesn't feel comfortable in him. He's a grown man and should be able to wear whatever he wants to wear. If you truly like him and appreciate him for him then it shouldn't matter what he is wearing. Clothes don't matter, it's the person in the clothes you should be focues on.

 

Hmmm... "gay clothes." I wasn't aware that clothes had sexual orientations.

[DBL]

It is not the clothes that matter, it's the body underneath the clothes!

 

Gay clothes as in, they look gay..not like your clothes are being gay.

 

DBL

[OceanEyes]

I honestly can see where you're coming from. The guys here all dress like that for some reason; nut-hugging jeans and tight t-shirts or tanks, and those transparent sunglasses are usually what you can expect to see. I think the perfect outfit on a guy is definitely a 'fitted' t-shirt with loose - not baggy - jeans (that actually leave something to my imagination).

 

However, I doubt that there is a way you can bring this up without him automatically thinking, "oh god, this chick is going to be a control freak".

 

Something to keep in mind: he probably feels very confident in what he wears. His sense of fashion is probably something that is a part of him, especially if he puts a lot of effort into it. I think if you ask him to change that, he's going to get pretty turned off immediately. I know I would.

[ShySoul]

It's not the clothes that matter or the body underneath the clothes, it's the person wearing them.

 

And how do clothes look gay? Isn't that just stereotyping to say that certain clothes are for gay people? People can wear whatever they want and we shouldn't be jugdging them or basing opinions on them because of it. If someone likes wearing a certain style then let them. People should be less focused on clothes and appearance and more focused on personality and spirit.

[Amethyst]

its not that i dont love him for who he is..... i love everything about him, but just that i want him to feel comfortable n look comfortable. cos honestly he didn't look comfortable... but just acts comfortable.

 

Okay, first off, you're wrong. You don't love everything about him because you don't like the way he dresses. And, more importantly, you DO NOT "love him for who he is". If you did, you wouldn't feel the need to change him. You're basically saying he's "broken" and you must "fix" him.

 

Secondly, they are HIS clothes, and HE is the one who has to wear them. Whether you think he "looks comfortable" or not really doesn't matter. What matters is that he *is* comfortable. He's a big boy and no longer needs someone to pick out his clothes and help him get dressed every morning. It's not up to you to decide what he wears -- he'll wear what *he* likes just as *you* will wear what *you* like.

 

Finally, if you can't accept something as simple as his choice of wardrobe, then I have to wonder what larger issues the two of you [will] have. Think about it: if something as inconsequential as the color of his jacket gets to you, then how will you react to him when a life-altering decision comes along?

[tea]

I have to agree with Amethyst almost 100%.

 

I really think if you don't like the way someone dresses you don't like them for who they are. Clothing and our styles are a way for us to express ourselves.. even if you don't agree with it, subconsciously that's what we do with clothes. If you don't agree with the way he dresses you basically don't agree with the person he really is.

 

I also don't think there's any way you can ask him to change the way he dresses without coming off as a control freak.

 

... why would you want to?

 

I'm almost as puzzled with you hoping to change his style as I am puzzled with people who think their significant others are too much of embarrassments to show up in public with them.