How long does it take MEN to 'Fall in Love'? ( Guys input)?

[SooSad33]

How long does it take a man to 'Fall in love' (or 'have those deep, emotional feelings'?)

 

Does it all depend sometimes?

 

I heard it's 'either there or it's not'. .

I've also heard it takes men longer to 'love', like months?

 

I understand a woman can 'feel deeply' for a man much sooner.

 

So, not sure.. Guys what have you felt with your relationships?

Do you feel it right away, or does it take a little while..to know, for sure?

[Geniuz khrist]

The first time a guy falls in love is usually the quickest. After that it seems to slow down, and men will usually not love so easily. The first time i fell in live it was almost instantaneous, but i was only 18. Now that i am 25 and with some one else, i seem to be happier learning to love some one with out possibly forcing it. Men really want a women who they see as friends above all else. But i would say no longer than 8 months.

[Jimbly]

I think too many of us mistake falling in lust with falling in love. I think as we get older and have been through more relationships, it gets easier to differentiate between the two.

 

When I was younger, I would think I was in love after a couple of weeks.

 

My ex wife, who I met when I was 27....we got engaged after dating for 10 days, having known each other for a month. That was falling in lust that transitioned to true love. We were together for 9 years, and to quote her, we went through "The Perfect Storm" of life events that drove us apart. We get on extremely well now and are very close (sharing a daughter as well as our relationships woes ). We even talked about trying again a few months back, but we've both moved on too far.

 

With the ex that brought me to these forums for the first time, it took me over a year to get to the really deep feelings that were true love. After getting burned, I am definitely more hesitant to make myself vulnerable again.

 

Having said that, with my current GF, I'm not there yet after 3 months, but it's moving in that direction. We only see each other once a week due to our schedules, which I think has slowed things down. I dated around a bunch before finding someone I was sure I wanted to be exclusive with, which has taken the edge off the possibility of falling in lust.

 

Bottom line - fast when young, slow when old. A bit like other events in mens' lives

[SooSad33]

So- what do you think of the fact of having a LTR end, move on to get involved with someone else, but over 4 months later and still having an interest in the Ex.

Do you think he may 'eventually' get those deep feelings for his new woman? Or, is it just 'not there' . (after that long, And too far gone), since he's still not over his Ex.

[oitnb]

Every guy that's dropped the "I love you" with me did it after about four months.

[mmnyc5052]

It's all relative, IMO. It can take days, months, or a year or so (beyond that...I'm not sure you're in the right relationship). My BF and I had talked for a few months almost incessantly online (we were from the same hometown but I had been living accross the country so we had not yet met) and we got to know each other really well before we met. So, it was on one of our first few dates that he told me he really felt he loved me. At first I was taken aback because I thought "you just met me!" but I kind of realized, when you feel it, you feel it. There is no right or wrong.

 

It took me longer to say the I love you-- a couple months. So, maybe I'm the exception to the rule that girls usually feel it first. He had been in relationships before and he knew what love was more than I did as this is my first serious relationship, so I treaded more lightly. I'd say guys are generally, on the whole, more timid to say such a big thing but if you're going on over a year of a relationship and that hasn't been made clear I would look elsewhere.

[sunshines]

I attract crazy. Most guys have said it in 1-2 weeks and/or proposed. I'm serious. Which is why I'm single, I can't seem to not attract crazy.

[SooSad33]

Yes it is wrong Sun. That isnt love in that time span.

[sunshines]

Exactly. Which is why I straight give up on men. I had one guy tell me the other night after one hour how amazing I was and how he really wanted to be with me. Sigh. Just really starting to think men are nuts haha. But anyways point is there is definitely a too soon mark, at least I think under a month they are bat **** crazy. I think it's more appropriate after 3 months. You need that getting time to know each other and being around each other a decent amount of time before dropping that word.

[GoinCrazyIN]

Actually, it really depends on the woman.

 

A man is just as open to emotional attachments as women are, it's purely a matter of it being there. Now, how long will it take them to VOICE it?

 

That is where it varies.

 

However, I have always said that putting a timeline on relationships causes more stress then it does good. Don't worry about that timeline, it will happen when it happens. BUT. If you feel it is too soon, don't say it back if he says it. It's the same as lying.. and that burns trust.

[In the Dark]

Varies depending on what the woman shows in affection.

How the chemistry feels.

It can be anywhere from 3 months to a month for me as far as I know.

But who knows, emotions can be very much uncontrollable.

Can send you soaring or can send you off a cliff.

[SooSad33]

Moving on too fast & still having the Ex on your mind doesn't help things though, does it?

 

Still dealing with & wanting to see the ex.. 4 months later, when there IS someone else, do you think he IS that into

his 'new flame'?

He's admitted he 'misses me' and wants to come by now n then.

Anyone been in that situation?

[Hazyillusions]

I think actual love takes time. People mistake infatuation, lust and excitement for it hence why they start throwing around the word after weeks or a one to three months.

It also depends on how you get along and if there's a connection.

 

Every guy I was with said it withIn a month and a half. I've only believed two. Love is an action word, love takes understanding, and that doesn't happen just like that.

[quirky]

Moving on too fast & still having the Ex on your mind doesn't help things though, does it?

 

Still dealing with & wanting to see the ex.. 4 months later, when there IS someone else, do you think he IS that into

his 'new flame'?

He's admitted he 'misses me' and wants to come by now n then.

Anyone been in that situation?

 

Well..the point is not what he says but what he does. How come are you in touch with him?

I have learnt that it's best not to make assumptions about anything, he tells you what he wants to tell you not what may be REALLY going on. He could be really into her and missing you a bit too since you were a big part of his life, maybe he's sparing you the pain. Or he could be just distracting himself for now because he doesn't want to be alone. I would look at the actions not the words and keep NC for your own sanity.

 

Regarding the original question I have found that men fall in love and out of love quicker than women.