Coworker nearly brought me to tears tonight.

[oitnb]

Sorry I keep posting about this, but I really don't know what to do. Read my previous thread for a catch up on my coworker situation.

 

Anyways, the spiteful comments did not stop. I really don't know what's crawled up this woman's butt.

 

This will be detailed, just so you can understand what happened, so bear with me. The first comment she made was about my phone. We have no clock in the back where we work, so it's very common for us to all quickly check our phones for the time. We all do it.

 

Anyways, today was my first super busy day. We must've returned 20 dogs to there owners. In the midst of all the chaos, I forgot to give an owner back it's dog toys when I returned there dog from boarding. My coworker asked me about it and asked me to go check to see if it was still there, I happily obliged. As I was walking, I quickly clicked my phone to check the time and put it down. (It must've honestly been 2 seconds of glancing) my coworker feels the need to say "well maybe if you weren't playing on your phone" (like I forgot the toys because I was constantly on my phone or something) I just say "really dude" and walk away.

 

Another thing that happened. She dry mopped the back hallway that leads to our laundry room. We have those big industrial brooms, that tend to get fur everywhere no matter what you do. I decide to go dry mop the laundry room. I carry the broom as gently as possible to avoid getting fur on her freshly swept hallway. Still, a few unavoidable piles of fur land. No big deal, I think, it'll take me less than a minute to get the laundry room done and then ill get the hallway piles quickly on the way back.

 

As I'm on my way back, I hear her say something along the lines of "I'm about to mop the hallway and now there's piles everywhere, gee thanks" she then proceeds to tell me (to my face for once) that I "got s*** all over her hallway" I walk away. Didn't say anything.

 

There's a bunch more that I can think of but I was so upset all day, fighting back tears of frustration, that I don't really remember them. I blocked her out after a while. I used to love this job, now I'm miserable. It's hard to have fun at work when every ten minutes a coworker feels the need to say a passive aggressive comment.

 

I'm highly considering asking my supervisor to not schedule me with her anymore, because tonight was the most miserable night of work I've had since I joined the workforce two years ago.

[mhowe]

You need to stop being so sensitive. Yes, she has an attitude. No, she is not a mean girl or a bully.

If you bring this to the attention of a supervisor, you will look like what you are --- a sensitive young lady who cannot handle herself in a work environment.

 

You don't need to have an attitude with her --- just ignore her.

[oitnb]

You need to stop being so sensitive. Yes, she has an attitude. No, she is not a mean girl or a bully.

If you bring this to the attention of a supervisor, you will look like what you are --- a sensitive young lady who cannot handle herself in a work environment.

 

You don't need to have an attitude with her --- just ignore her.

 

I don't have an attitude with her. I actually used to really like her, because I'm a fan of people with dry senses of humor. But she is specifically targeting me, I've never had a coworker like this EVER and I've had about 5 jobs. I love contrastive criticism, with my job it's needed because you have to do everything just so. When coworkers say "hey bah do it like this next time" I'm like "okay, thanks! Will do" she literally was following me around saying anything negative that she could possibly say. She does not do this with any other workers.

[mhowe]

She is doing it because she can see she getting to you. Ignore her.

So what if she says anything --- she is a coworker, not your boss.

[oitnb]

And yes maybe I'm being a bit sensitive. But when you're the youngest person at your job, and a much older woman than you who has seniority at the place is specifically targeting you with unneeded constant comments, it's a bit intimidating and unnerving.

[Elektra22]

You should not have to be subjected to an abusive work environment. She is not your manager and has no right to keep tabs on your actions, nor should you have to endure the foul language being directed at you. If you can try and document the dates and time for each offense that would be ideal and continue to do this so that you have evidence to present to your manager. You are being the bigger person and the professional here, whereas she is being nasty, offensive and highly unprofessional. Going to your manager in a calm, professional way is your best bet to resolve this situation. Ignore her as much as possible she most likely is trying to get a rise out of you so she can find something to make you look bad. You are probably not the first person she has directed this kind of nastiness toward so hopefully that will be in your favor too. Good luck and I hope you can look forward to work again soon without encountering any further episodes of her maliciousness.

[oitnb]

She is doing it because she can see she getting to you. Ignore her.

So what if she says anything --- she is a coworker, not your boss.

 

I don't care about her opinion, I just would like to enjoy my job and have fun, like I did the first 4 weeks of it. She's making that nearly impossible.

[mhowe]

It need not be. When she says something, just say "thanks Betty --- I'll take that into consideration".

Or "okay" and just keep doing what you are doing.

You will be the youngest until they hire the next employee ---- it is only intimidating because you let it be. She has no power.

[mhowe]

I don't care about her opinion, I just would like to enjoy my job and have fun, like I did the first 4 weeks of it. She's making that nearly impossible.

 

If you don't take anything she says to heart, it won't be. Smile and think of something funny and walk away.

[oitnb]

Thank you. I was starting to think I was just being a big cry baby about it I don't work with her again until next Saturday, so I'm going to give it one more shot but if it continues I am going to speak to my supervisor.

[oitnb]

It need not be. When she says something, just say "thanks Betty --- I'll take that into consideration".

Or "okay" and just keep doing what you are doing.

You will be the youngest until they hire the next employee ---- it is only intimidating because you let it be. She has no power.

 

True. I just have to keep reminding myself she is a 40 year old woman who is bitter. That sounds mean, but based on her attitude, I can't think of any other reason for her actions. No offense to all the fabulous 40's out there

[annie24]

If she does it again, tell her if she has something to say to you, to say it directly, and not to make passive aggressive comments.

[oitnb]

If she does it again, tell her if she has something to say to you, to say it directly, and not to make passive aggressive comments.

 

I certainly planning on it! I've never dealt with such a negative, nasty individual.

[annie24]

i can't remember where i read it - if it was on here or somewhere else. someone talked about having a very bitter, negative coworker like yours. a few years later, she killed herself. she must have had a lot of internal problems and was probably letting it seep out into the world. don't let her get you down. just do the best job you can, and focus on pleasing your manager, not her. she's probably upset that she has the same job as a 19 year old.

[oitnb]

i can't remember where i read it - if it was on here or somewhere else. someone talked about having a very bitter, negative coworker like yours. a few years later, she killed herself. she must have had a lot of internal problems and was probably letting it seep out into the world. don't let her get you down. just do the best job you can, and focus on pleasing your manager, not her. she's probably upset that she has the same job as a 19 year old.

 

Oh, that's so sad it sucks that some people do that. But yeah, it's probably a combination of the age thing and career as well as just being a shotty person in general.

[oitnb]

Just told the bf what happened, his advice - "beat that females butt!" (Insert curse words where you deem appropriate) haha oh men

[stuka80]

Thank you. I was starting to think I was just being a big cry baby about it I don't work with her again until next Saturday, so I'm going to give it one more shot but if it continues I am going to speak to my supervisor.

 

you are not being a crybaby, you're only trying to defend yourself. Never allow someone like that to bully you around. The moment she does it put a check on her to let her know that she's not the queen of anything. Ignoring it is the wrong approach cause it will only let her know that you will take her and she will think she can do whatever she wants to you.

 

Here's how you should've handled her.

 

: "well maybe if you weren't playing with your phone"

Bah: "i'll play with my phone anytime i want to"

 

about to mop the hallway and now there's piles everywhere, gee thanks""

Bah welcome, lemme know if you need more"

 

got all over my hallway"

Bah what? stop crying about it like a little baby and just clean it up"

 

Never make excuses for yourself if the other person is acting like a complete , instead make sarcastic comments, it will piss them off. And lastly, all while this is going on, let your supervisor know that she can't talk to you like that and if she does you're gonna give it back to her 10x worse. Never be a victim to bullies like that, let them know their stinks just like everyone else's. Remember put her on check immediately, dont let her continue abusing you and make sure you dont cry in front of her. She gets a kick out of it. Change your mentality from a victim to someone who wont put up with her . good luck!

[journeynow]

She may be difficult, but it sounds from your examples you could improve your work etiquette. On the job it is poor practice to be looking at your phone. Use a watch, it looks more professional. If you are carrying a broom and it drops dirt along the way, sweep it up as you go, don't leave it to return to later. It's a better work practice. Instead of taking offense when your coworker comes to mop and finds the mess you left, apologize.

[Fudgie]

I would not report her. Yes she's being passive aggressive and a b___h to boot, but all of that is legal.

 

I work with people like her quite often. I hate their guts but they don't know because you know that saying "kill them with kindness". It's the best form of revenge for me. Work hard and be nice and she won't be able to say anything anymore.

 

Sometimes you have to suck a__s at work. That's life. While I don't go to office parties or the like, I do work hard. I was promoted recently and now help manage a whole office that the whole hospital answers to. Kindness is what got me here, even if it wasn't genuine. I have only reported safety issues, never conflicts, or do I rat people out. Trust me, bosses don't want to hear it. You need to be able to work with whoever, do whatever. I've been given the most horrible assignments, ones where I would have rather had someone defecate in my mouth than spend time on that assignment, but I bit my lip and carried on and it has served me well

 

Bite your lip and carry on, and of course, finish school so you don't have to work there forever.

 

The best character building moments come from the times where you're challenged.

[oitnb]

Thank you!

[oitnb]

She may be difficult, but it sounds from your examples you could improve your work etiquette. On the job it is poor practice to be looking at your phone. Use a watch, it looks more professional. If you are carrying a broom and it drops dirt along the way, sweep it up as you go, don't leave it to return to later. It's a better work practice. Instead of taking offense when your coworker comes to mop and finds the mess you left, apologize.

 

All of my employees check the time on there phones in the back, even my supervisor. I wouldn't do it if I didn't previously see it was well accepted. I do not text or call, just a quick click to see the time and that's it. And I swept up the few tiny piles left on the floor? I didn't leave them, and they were gone within less of a minute of being there. I know I did nothing wrong here, sooo...

 

And I would've gladly apologized if she wasn't busy spewing curse words at me in front of everyone.

[oitnb]

I tried being nice to her, asking ?'s, accommodating how i do my work duties so as not to upset her, but it can only go so far.

 

I personally don't think any job is worth being, well, bullied. Singled out. If this issue doesn't resolve itself in time, or become resolved by a higher up if it came down to it, I'd quit in a second. No job is worth my self respect.

[agent1607307371]

If you're having such a hard time with her, speak to your supervisor. If hse's swearing at you, even more so. That's unacceptable.

 

 

But learning how to handle people like this, without going to their level and without taking it to heart, is a valuable tool and you'll need it as you go through life. You don't want to get tarred with the same brush.

[journeynow]

If you're having such a hard time with her, speak to your supervisor. If hse's swearing at you, even more so. That's unacceptable.

 

 

But learning how to handle people like this, without going to their level and without taking it to heart, is a valuable tool and you'll need it as you go through life. You don't want to get tarred with the same brush.

 

I agree with agent, and also suggest to your supervisor that they put up a wall clock so no one has to be pulling out their phones to check the time. (Checking phones is a distraction and if you do it in front of clients it is tacky.)

[lavenderdove]

Bullies get joy from bullying... so if she's a bully (and sounds like it) she's going to be all up in your business every chance she gets in order to have a bullying opportunity which she obvoiusly enjoys with great relish.

 

You can't be bullied if you don't let her. So practice the fine old art of ignoring her entirely. Whenever she says anything annoying, just act like you didn't hear it, and give her an icy stare (a good old fashioned set down) and walk away. It will take all the fun out of it for her if she gets no response.

 

Either that, or laugh at her everytime she does it. And find a fun phrase like, 'Last time I checked, you were not my boss' and walk away... and repeat the same thing every single time she makes a snarky comment, reminding her that she has no power or authority over you and hence should shut up with her unsolicited comments. If you repeat the same phase every time she oversteps her bounds, she'll eventually get the hint, that you won't be bullied, and it is not going to get the desired reaction from you.

 

She *wants* to intimidate and boss you aroud, just don't let her by reminding her she's not your boss, or by showing her how little signficance her comments have in your life by just ignoring her entirely like she hasn't even spokien.