It's been 4 months - she is still with other guy

[whattheheck]

My ex gf broke up with me (4 year relationship) at the end of July (around July 25) and I found out shortly after that - August 5 - that she loved him. Don't ask how I found out, but I know that she said she loved him that soon!! Well, she is still with him!!!

 

Well, to all of you in my situation - move on WITHOUT ANY HOPE OF GETTING YOUR EX BACK. Because if you sit around waiting for your ex's new realtionship to fail, you may be waiting too long, or forever!

 

I am doing better now, but I still hope that her relationship fails. My point is, I should be worrying about myself, and NOT her situation. This has prevented me from being totally healed by now.

 

I still have hope that her rebound will fail, and I wish i could quit worrying about it.

 

To all of you in this situation - MOVE ON. Don't have any hope!!! It will slow down your healing process way too much.

[hockeyboy]

i know you think 4 months is a long time...but it took me 8 months to get over my ex of 4+ years.

[Lilu]

whattheheck,

 

Sometimes it takes days, months, years, and in some cases...never... to forget about the person. But moving on is different, even though you will always keep her in mind, right now you should just think of you. I know it is not easy, and I am not just saying this just because, the reason I am mentioning this to you is 'cos I have and still are going through a breakup. I am a 22year old going through divorce. My ex wasnt happy in the relationship so he decided to call it quits. The thing that made it harder for me was that I was living in his country(He's English, I live in New jersey)and because we separated, I had to comeback to the US, with a broken heart.

 

That was a year ago. A year ago and I am still thinking about him, but it doesnt hurt like it used to. Now, when we do get to chat on the phone, we chat like good friends. My heart is healing slowly, but its healing, and that is all I need to move on.

 

Wish I could write more but gotta go to class.

 

Best of luck!

Lilu

[Bizw]

My girlfriend of five years left me a month ago, I don't think I could possibly make it any harder on myself than I have so far.

 

Your absolutly right that having no hope of getting back together is the only way to completely heal. I still hope that we'll end up together, but I know that I'm a fool for doing this to myself.

 

I think it's hard to understand how someone that loved you so much is all the sudden so distant. My ex has done me the favor of giving me just enough to make me hold on so I can suffer even longer.

 

Now, It's been a month and she has a bunch of basketball players numbers on her phone that she regulary talks and hangs out with. See what sticking around does for you, allows you to witness your worst fears firsthand.

[hurtbylove]

Hey, don't worry about it too much, my ex left me for someone else and it ended up not working either

 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little glad at that.

[zveric]

Mine too!

 

exact same time frame as yours Whattheheck.

She lives with him in our appartment. Drove me crazy for a while.

Chill out dude. 4 months is nothing. This is gonna take you like a year.

 

I saw my ex for the first time this thanksgiving at a friend's thanksgiving dinner that we have had as an anual tradition for the last 8 years.

 

The new boyfriend came up and tried to talk to me. Almost got the **** kicked out of him. Took all my strength to turn around and walk away.

 

Cool thing is, it confirmed what I suspected about him, which is that he is a complete moron. I now think they are perfect for each other.

 

I started smoking at the tender age of 28. Try it. it works great. ;-)

[me4ta]

Just out of curiosity, HURTBYLOVE, how long your ex was with that person before they broke up? The rebound person that is...

 

My ex also left me and as I found out later for another girl whom he started dating almost right after our break up. It's been 4, almost 5 months for them, and I can't help but hoping their "honeymoon" period is up and they start hating each other Sometimes I stop myself and think - this is so bad to think and wish things like that, but I was hurt and I can't help it...

 

Although, I have fun, I'm not crying anymore, and I'm not thinking about him all the time anymore as well - but sometimes, and especially during this holiday season, thoughts of him creep into my head...uuggh!

[hurtbylove]

Just out of curiosity, HURTBYLOVE, how long your ex was with that person before they broke up? The rebound person that is...

 

My ex also left me and as I found out later for another girl whom he started dating almost right after our break up. It's been 4, almost 5 months for them, and I can't help but hoping their "honeymoon" period is up and they start hating each other Sometimes I stop myself and think - this is so bad to think and wish things like that, but I was hurt and I can't help it...

 

Although, I have fun, I'm not crying anymore, and I'm not thinking about him all the time anymore as well - but sometimes, and especially during this holiday season, thoughts of him creep into my head...uuggh!

 

He wasn't a rebound person for her, she really started to like him a lot. So much so that she just had no feelings for me anymore. At all. I guess there were problems in the relationship that I didn't know about if she started to fall for someone else in the first place. But that was in my eyes the reason why we broke up..

 

 

They were together for a month and a half, but she has known him longer than that. She still really likes him though.

 

So, in the end I'm hurt and she is hurt. But I would rather have both of us suffering than just me while she is having fun with her new boytoy.

 

I don't know if I actually mean that, because I do love her, but it still hurts a lot.

[sdw]

Hi,

 

I think the best thing to do is to keep telling yourself you hope they will be happy in their new relationship and that they get what they want from it. This is the hardest thing in the world, but so long as you hold on to fear and hope of bad things happening to them, you will never truly fall in love again. It's easier said than done, but you have to LET GO. When you think of them and you feel that knife twist in your guts, think well of your ex and wish them the best. You know that for a time they made you very happy, and theymay have hurt you but you must try not to allow yourself to be that hurt. If you ever meet them, and it comes up - tell them you wish them happiness. It's the only way, you can't go thru life bearing grudges as I honestly believe that will prevent you from being able to embrace love when it comes your way again.

 

Steve.