Update: ex doesn't want me in his life, but wants to be friends

[PrettyGood]

He broke up with me yesterday. Today I sent his belongings via registered post, notified him about it and asked to cut the contact. He couldn't understand why do I want this and I just said that I couldn't stand the situation when I lived together with him and someday he will invite a new lady there.

 

The afternoon was the heaviest time for me. I started crying a lot and couldn't stand that feeling any longer, so I wrote him 1 long sms message how sorry I am for everything I did and that I sincerely want to change everything and pleaded him to give me a chance, because this nightmare is tearing me apart. I'm not sleeping, I'm not eating, I can't work or do anything else, but cry. He said "Sorry for that but now I really can't help". I wrote him several more messages how everything would be different if he just consider my suggestion and wrote everything what I would change. He said "I'm really sorry, but I just don't want it." I felt so desperate.

 

In the evening he asked me again why don't I want to be friends, guessing that it would be easier for me to live through those feelings by having him close (even if he wouldn't be my boyfriend). I explained him again that if I find out about any new lady, it would tear my heart apart. He said "I understand, but please, try not to worry so much, it's not the first break up you have in your life. Try to relax and sleep a little bit tonight. Good night".

 

It just seems that after the perfect relationship he just lost his emotions. I asked how can he be so insensitive and he said that he was so into me in the beginning of our relationship 7-8 months ago, but now over time he just saved enough negative aspects about my personality not to consider anything at the level of emotions. He just doesn't want it. Over the day I ate only 2 small apples, drank a half glass of water and ate 1 bite of banana. When I read it I rant into the toilet to vomit. I just feel so exhausted and the worst thing is that I still have a lot of work to bring successful results for my client tomorrow morning. I just don't know how can I cope with everything. I can't stop crying.

[Snow Bird]

If I were in your situation, and he once again asks to be friends, I would just tell him flat that you can't be friends right now because you have to get over the relationship and because he's the one that ended it he needs to respect that. Tell him if or when you're ready to try a friendship you will contact him. You have to go NC like you decided. I know this all sucks, but you can't change it. Try to force your mind away from dwelling on it all by catching yourself when thoughts come of him. Try to keep as busy as you can, go out with your friends/family and pick up a hobby or social hobby that you always wanted to do but didn't have the time to before. You will pull through it, it feels like crap right now and you won't feel like going on, but you will get over it. I can promise you that.

[john45]

I second the excellent comments from Snow Bird

 

In addition, please try to look after yourself a bit during this very upsetting time. no-one can offer a guarantee that your ex will want to change how he is with you right now. try to get some time with people you can trust, and who care about you, take the time and support you need.

 

Take care.

[Live-N-Learn]

I suggest you read this thread. It may help you. Good luck in your healing. LNL

[sharky988]

I always get a good laugh at dumpers who think they have a right to expect friendship right after breaking up with you!

 

I suggest you block him completely. From your phone, text, email, Facebook and all social media... if he asks again for friendship, I'd tell him "I'm really sorry but I just don't want it."

 

Hugs to you! It gets better, honest. Keep posting -- you're going to be okay.

[PrettyGood]

Thank you, guys for all your support. You are so sincere