So confused about what to do..

[vanana]

Hi ! I've been lurking a lot and it's my first post

 

I have been with my bf for almost a year now, I'm 23 and he's 30. It's my first 'real' relationship and we live together as well.

I have been feeling very down for the past months, I feel disrespected, we fight almost everyday and I cry almost everyday.. We had some fights about me forgetting to close to lights before leaving that escalated very far.. or forgetting

to do the bed... I told him so many time that it's not the message the problem, it's how it's said.. he ends up saying I'm sorry I'll be more careful but it happens again the next day. He says I'm unstable and cry too much and for nothing.

I feel like my feelings are rejected. When we first met he used to tell me very nice things and now only negative stuff.. I only hear ' Yeah of course you're gonna wait at the last minute to do it, procrastination !!!, you're unstable, you're provoking me ! '

everything I do is never good enough it seems. I ask him if he really love me and he said yes and he loves me and being with me.. why would he be like that then ? I'm tired of being yelled at and being put down.

 

I'm getting so mad! There is moments where I'm like screw that !!!! He doesn't deserve me I' leaving !!!I had a lot of those moments but I end up feeling bad and thinking I should give it a chance. He knows I'm contemplating leaving, he told me himself he knows. the other day again he told me ' just tell me when you're ready to dump me' ... .. You know you're on that path and you're just gonna accept it and do nothing about it ? If he loved me I think he should try harder right now !

He doesn't like to talk. He says why talk when it's alright ? I'm an emotional person and I need to feel loved and to feel that my partner respect me, finds me funny , is proud.. etc.. I don't really get that from him.

 

The other issue is me not handling well his exes... He is almost best friend with his ex of 7 years... They have so much in common.. they text.. see each other sometimes.... they are more alike...It makes me feel insecure a lot.. he says I'm intense about this. it's nothing, its over and I should not feel this way. he said he doesnt like someone who's too much like him but he is always on my back and controlling for things to go his way. I don't think he would cheat but I don't like the fact that all his electronic are locked. He even deletes his text messages instantly.. why...

 

I don't have experience in relationship so I dont really know what is normal or not.. I'm also scared to leave him because Im scared to regret it and the idea of him with another girl disgust me.. Also I have been introduced to lots of his friends.

after that I'm gonna be alone because I dont really have friends.

 

Sorry for the long text. I would like your input on this

[Kendahke]

I bolded all of the issues I saw in your post because they must be addressed.

 

To tell you the truth, his behavior reminds me of that of an abuser--they alienate their victim from the victim's support circle and make them totally emotionally and financially dependent upon them. Then they are at the abuser's mercy. The abuser can then wreak havoc and degrade them for everything they do. He wants things done a certain way and when you don't do it that way, either willfully or forgetfully, he unleashes verbal abuse onto you. That is not right. Allowing yourself to be debased by a man is not love; it certainly isn't self love and I have to wonder for all the talk about how much you love him, how much do you love yourself?

 

The "you're provoking me" rhetoric is the excuse all abusers use to begin abusing their victim. You're not provoking him. He's a grown man. He needs to learn to control himself. If he wants things done a certain way, then he needs to do it himself and quit expecting you to do it.

 

His phone is on lockdown and he deletes his messages because, frankly, he's entitled to do that with his property; they're none of your business, even if all of this isn't going on. It's not your phone, you're not paying the bill and you aren't his wife. Were you his wife, my answer would be different. Having said that, though, the fact that he makes sure you can't get to it sounds like he's got reasons to hide his communiques. If you feel he's being inappropriate with another woman, then all you need is your gut feeling/intuition as all the proof you need. You don't need to rummage through his phone looking for what you already know in your gut, but are trying to ignore.

 

The plain truth and the short answer is that you two are incompatible. Maybe you feel love should conquer all, but honey, love doesn't. Compatibility is what conquers all. You should not be living with such a man. You may date well, and it's fun and breezy when you're not living in his house. When you went from being a girlfriend who lived independently elsewhere to being more or less his house-frau, dependent and living with him, things changed. He resents your being so dependent upon him. I use the word "dependent" not in the financial sense, as you say you have a good job, but because you are dependent upon him for the friendship of his friends; you are dependent upon him because you have no prior experience in dating and are following his cues when you shouldn't; you are dependent upon him for validation and a measure for your self worth/value. If you were independent in those areas, the first time he popped off with some abusive mess, you'd have been out of there, blocked him from contacting you, recognized what a loser he is and gotten on with your life.

 

The fact that he's so close with someone who is his ex--well, why then is she his ex since they get on so well together? Doesn't make sense for you to even be in the picture if she's "all that and a bag of chips".

 

At your age, you should have some friends--friends from college/university--not a bunch of older friends of his as your friends. You've got to have people in your life whose loyalty lies with you and you alone, not him.

 

You're 23--you're at the precipice of your life, learning new things, seeing new places, doing new things. He's been your age 7 years ago and he's forgotten what it's like to be in his early 20's. He has no patience for you--that much is clear.

 

I can tell you that your relationship is not normal.. it's abusive and you do not deserve to be treated as such.

 

It's time to call your parents and ask them to come get you and move you out of there. This man doesn't mean you any good. You need to get past regretting living your life with a verbal and emotional abuser---you will regret more that you've wasted your youth--time you will never get back--on someone who treats you the way he does. And you'll get over your disgust of him being with another girl--she will become his next victim and she will leave him eventually, too. Then the next; then the next. He's no prize if he has no problem treating you the way he treats you.

 

You've got a good job, you say--well, it's time for you to stand on your own two feet. There are times when you've got to save your own life and this is one of those times.

[bulletproof]

If you've only been together a year and you're fighting every day, I'd say it's time to leave.

 

The reasons you say you're scared to leave him are not good reasons for staying. It's somewhat important to have your own friends to support you, even when you're in a healthy relationship. So it's time to go out on your own, start making your own friends, and eventually find a boyfriend that you don't fight with every day.

 

Btw, I would also be more cautious in the future about moving in with someone early on in the relationship. You're 23, you've got plenty of time, and even if you were 43, I'd say the same thing- don't rush things.

[vanana]

Thanks a lot for the replies, you are right. I always went back and forth in my head because in general he isn't a bad person and the good moments are good. He was the first guy that treated me good and had qualities I wanted (in the beggining).

He is intelligent, handy,we share geeky interests, he knows how to look good and dress good and when he was courting me he was so sweet, that's why it went far very quickly. I'm complaining so much that he says ' I know I know I'm a monster, what are you doing with me then ? '. He told me 2 weeks ago ' A thing I liked about you when we met was that you knew you were pretty. I didnt even know if you liked me or not!' He doesn't understand that all we've been through crushed my self esteem. Him being very judgemental too. he made some threats before about shutting down the internet if I keep not listening to him and forgetting to do some chores 'If telling you a few times doesnt work I gotta try other options'!. He is a hoarder (movies and videogames).. he has wayy too much stuff, I feel like I live in his world. Always on his electronics. It seems more interesting that talking with me. ' we talked a lot in the getting to know phase, now we don't have to talk that much ' his logic.. He is also a stoner..but still more 'awake' than me.. I tend to forget things.. and be disorgonized.

 

Thanks again.. I got to find the courage.. I feel bad and I'm scared.

[lifesatrip]

That's horrible, he is treating you like a child! It's totally inappropriate and disrespectful for him to threaten you with the internet. How dare he talk to you like that! Don't waste anymore time with him. I'm not saying the whole relationship was a waste of time, but get rid of him fast! Better things await you. Maybe find a therapist to help you repair your self-esteem.

[Sara1970]

I would not usually say something like this, but I got a bad feeling from reading your post. I think that it's very important for you that you leave this man as soon as possible. Anyone who makes you feel this bad about yourself is not a good person to be around.

 

Forgetting to make the bed or to turn off the lights... that shouldn't be such a big deal. And he's threatening to shut down the internet because of that? Who is he to say whether or not you can access the internet?!

 

I don't feel that this is a healthy relationship for you to be in, and I hope that you leave before you lose any more of your self esteem.

 

Have courage.

[ParisPaulette]

What Kendahke said. My first relationship was very much like what you describe and yes at first it was little criticisms like I did this or didn't do that, which soon escalated to verbal and emotional abuse. It ended after he tipped the line into physical abuse and I had to end up fighting him off then running out into the night to escape him. Sorry, but you simply could not pay me to ever stay with someone who makes me cry nearly every day ever again. Leave now, he's more than aware of what he's doing and my guess is he's been down this road before where the woman eventually gets fed up and leaves. You've given him far more chances than he ever deserved. Now give yourself a chance to find real happiness and the right kind of support.

[Jennifer89]

First relationships are the hardest to end, but I think of them as "learning relationships" for most people. He sounds like my step father, who is always mad at my mom for some reason. For example, they work downstairs and brew coffee upstairs, she will walk upstairs and poor two cups of coffee, and mix in his cream and sugar, and walk down the stairs to give him his, and the phone will ring, and the will rush down the stairs, give him his cup then run up the stairs and barely miss the call. And then he will go off on her for not being fast enough or talented enough to answer the phone while carrying two cups of scalding coffee down the staircase. It sounds like this guy doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants someone who will do whatever he tells her to, then bend over at night for him to F her. If one light being left on causes a fight, he needs to take some anxiety meds. Leave him before he has a heart attack brought on by stress and leaves you!

[vanana]

Thank you all so much ! tonight again we argued because he told me to make an appointment to shave my cat and I said ok good and he said put a timer you'll forget as usual. I refused simply because I didn't like how he said it and that leaded to him leaving to go out to punch trees. I've been on edge all night.. I'm looking at appartments online and feeling so bad !!! I feel like it may be my fault. maybe I'm childish... He says I always talk about how I want my feeling understood and that by 'procrastinating on stuff' it 'hurts his feelings'... . I wonder if everybody go through that never ending phase of Ok its over.. oh no I shouldnt.... Been there for months.. I don't know how to end it. I never had to end it with someone I lived with.. I only dated 2 other guys before, a 6 months and a 3 months and broke up with them because I didnt love them but this time its not about not loving. Why does he have to tell me he loves me and cuddle me after a fight !! I felt like a jerk refusing to go in his arm in the bed.. this spiral of darkness is resulting in me being behind in my classes and maybe failing ughhh... The only good thing is that I won't have to worry about money to move out because I just got the money my grandad placed for me when I was young. I'm feeling almost ungrateful to be sad in my relationship because He says he loves me everyday, kiss me, hold my hands outside all the time...Should I mention half my stuff is stored at my dad's? He didnt wanted me to move those stuff until we knew if there is space and there obviously isnt.. He made me buy a new dresser because my old one at my dad's doesnt fit with his bedroom. I have my flaws too and sometimes wonder If I made him go mad.. I can be lazy and he says i don,t have enough initiative.. It's hard when you feel like you live by someone's rules. So hard so hard...

 

sorry for this part3 rant... All you've said is so helpful and really made me think. I reread it a lot.

[Iggles]

OP, you've got to get away from this guy. Going outside to punch trees is not normal! How is his anger issues your fault?

 

Why does he have to tell me he loves me and cuddle me after a fight !! I felt like a jerk refusing to go in his arm in the bed.. this spiral of darkness is resulting in me being behind in my classes and maybe failing ughhh... The only good thing is that I won't have to worry about money to move out because I just got the money my grandad placed for me when I was young. I'm feeling almost ungrateful to be sad in my relationship because He says he loves me everyday, kiss me, hold my hands outside all the time..

 

This is classic behavior of an abuser. After their episodes they pour on the sweetness. It's how they reel their victims back in. They always essentially say "sorry, but you made me so mad!" when they apologize, shifting the blame of their outbursts onto YOU. So after yelling at you, throwing things, and lashing out they give that victim blaming apology and pour on the sweetness to make the victim feel if they only acted "better" then the abuser would be this nice and wonderful all the time.

 

That's not going happen! He's damaged and until he faces that and resolves to fix himself, he will continue this sick cycle. It's your life that hangs in the balance here. You CAN'T FIX HIM. The longer you stay with him, the more he gets entrenched in your life.

 

You're young and have the resources to make a clean break (money to move out). If you don't break it off soon, you could end up pregnant and have to deal with this guy for the rest of your life! Can you imagine sharing custody with this guy when he acts nasty/vindictive towards you? And he will because once you're tied to him in such a way he has no incentive to pour on the sweetness to "keep" you!

 

Not to mention with his anger issues there's a real possibility that his emotional/verbal abuse can escalate to include physical abuse. You don't want that.. Many abusive men who claimed to "love" their partners end up killing them. Don't be a statistic. Get out now.

[Kendahke]

there is a website you need to go read: link removed

 

re: him punching trees: Abusers soon lose the "thrill" of the assault. They don't get their "high" off of it like they used to. It then begins to escalate from punching the tree to throwing something past your head... then that turns into him pushing you... then that turns into him pulling your hair really hard... then slapping you... then punching you... then full on beating/kicking you. You may look at him right now and be saying to yourself "Kendahke, you're wrong... he would never do that to me..." Hon, he's punching trees and telling you that all of his frustration is your fault. Not true. It's not all your fault. A grown man takes responsibility for how he acts. An overgrown child puts the blame on someone else: "she made me do it"--what is he? 6 yrs old? That "it's your fault" rhetoric usually precedes the first physical abusive interaction.

 

Forgetting to make an appointment for getting the cat shaved isn't going to cause any kind of a blip in either of your worlds. This was about power... more to the point: his power over you. He was inventing a reason to escalate his abuse towards you. There is no reason why he couldn't pick up the phone and make the appointment himself. The cat doesn't will find a way to stay cool on its own this summer--it's not like it doesn't know how.

 

You are not childish because you don't prioritize the same way he does. He is childish for inventing power struggles which he then loses because they lack reason and then turns around and makes himself out to be the victim. You procrastinating has absolutely NOTHING to do with his feelings.

 

Yes, people do go through a waffling phase in normal relationships. You're not in a normal relationship--you're in an abusive one and you're dealing with a lot of distortion, trying to convince yourself it's normal. It's not. Him waxing affectionate is all part of the ritual dance to lull you back into a stupor of staying so he won't lose the object of his abuse. After the abuse, there is always a "honeymoon" period where he will be the sweetest thing you've ever seen--and it makes you wonder if you're crazy; if you're the one who's bad; maybe if you tried harder to not make him mad and on and on and on. You wanting to leave has nothing to do with feeling ungrateful--it has to do with SAVING YOUR LIFE, which you have every right to do.

 

The way you end it is to make your plans to move out AND DO NOT TELL HIM WHAT YOU ARE DOING. Go along to get along til you're out of there, but do get out of there.

 

It really doesn't matter if you're lazy or don't have enough initiative at this point in your life. If you were 35, my answer would be different, but you're barely into your 20's--you should be enjoying your life, meeting new people, having exciting adventures not being forced into subjugation by a 30 something abusive jerk. It's good that you have this money. DO NOT TELL HIM THAT YOU HAVE THIS MONEY EVER!! He will manipulate you into thinking you should fork it all over to him.

 

What does your father say about how he treats you? Is he ok with a 30 something yr old man emotionall abusing his daughter?

 

You will be on far better footing to go get your own place and live on your own--you will have peace in your home, peace in your mind and you will not be subject to anyone's abuse. I totally encourage you to get out of that living situation with this man... I cannot help but feel your life is in danger the longer you stay and try to convince yourself that the danger you're in is either a figment of your imagination or that your'e the root cause of it and should stay. You are not in a normal relationship and that is the only kind of relationship you should stay and work on. Abusers need psychotherapy, not beat-down girlfriends.

[vanana]

I told him I want to move out and don't have a choice. He seemed not to like it but he said ok I understand, we can try that. He said he's gonna have to find a roomate because he's gonna be tight without me.. I feel bad.. He said he feels like taking a 2 months sickness leave from the job because he's too stressed.. he's been stressed for the last 2 months that I was gonna dump him anyday.He also said he's been having dreams of me cheating on him for the past weeks and that stresses him and make him feel bad. He wants to help me move , he says it's his fault I moved in but I already asked my dad.

He has tons of issues but I don't think he is as bad as I may have made it seem to you, i really don't think he'd touch me. Going back living on my own would help for sure. my world is crumbling apart and I'm behind in class and just want a break for a few

months of everything.. ressource myself.. I don't feel ready to break up. Living apart could bring us back to where we were.. making us realize things...or make us realize we weren't meant.. Am I delusional ? We are gonna talk more tomorrow and I can't wait. I told him what you said kendahke about compatibility and he thinks we are compatible and believe in us, he doesn't want to lose me. I told him he should see a therapist and he agreed. btw he knows about the money but he's a proud man and has never asked me to pay anything for him. we are very equal on that. He's actually trying to protect me from my sucubus family who already want my help.. but that would be a story for another thread ahah..

 

Thank you all so much for you support. I don't know if I'm dragging my thread for too long but I appreciate every reply I received. It makes me think a lot and I'm not done thinking for sure! I wish I was as mature and strong as you all. ( french is my first language, sorry if I write strangely)

[Kendahke]

I told him I want to move out and don't have a choice. He seemed not to like it but he said ok I understand, we can try that. He said he's gonna have to find a roomate because he's gonna be tight without me.. I feel bad.. He said he feels like taking a 2 months sickness leave from the job because he's too stressed.. he's been stressed for the last 2 months that I was gonna dump him anyday.He also said he's been having dreams of me cheating on him for the past weeks and that stresses him and make him feel bad. He wants to help me move , he says it's his fault I moved in but I already asked my dad.

 

That is all manipulation. Remember what I said about him lulling you back into a stupor? This is it right here. If he is stressed, then that is his problem to solve, not yours. He's a grown man, not a child and certainly not your child.

 

If he didn't want to be dumped, then at any time he could have stopped the verbal abuse with you. HE CHOSE NOT TO. Remember that. Everything he has done is a choice on his part. None of this was forced upon him. It wasn't until you began rethinking the wisdom in living with him that he's suddenly changing his tune. Where was this change of heart the other night when he was yelling at you for not making an appointment with the cat groomer?

 

Stick to your plan to move out. He has a lot he needs to sort out in his own head without bringing any girlfriends into his life.

 

He has tons of issues but I don't think he is as bad as I may have made it seem to you, i really don't think he'd touch me.

 

But did you want to wait around until he did hit you before finding that out for certain? Many physical abuse victims once said "oh, he would never put his hands on me". Too many to count. Punching a tree will turn into pushing you or pulling your hair

 

Going back living on my own would help for sure. my world is crumbling apart and I'm behind in class and just want a break for a few

months of everything.. ressource myself.. I don't feel ready to break up. Living apart could bring us back to where we were.. making us realize things...or make us realize we weren't meant.. Am I delusional ? We are gonna talk more tomorrow and I can't wait. I told him what you said kendahke about compatibility and he thinks we are compatible and believe in us, he doesn't want to lose me.

 

Of course he thinks you two are compatible and believes in "us"--he's got someone he can berate and verbally abuse when the fancy strikes him. It's only because it's being taken away that all of a sudden, he's flipped to the "honeymoon" side of himself. Does he believe in letting you call the cat groomer on your own time table instead of his? Does he believe in "us" when you don't jump up and do what he says? Does he believe in "us" when he's blaming you and saying it's all your fault that he gets mad at you?

 

No abuser wants to lose the person he's beaten down through verbal abuse and have to start all over trying to find another woman who will take it off of him. He'd have to find someone else to berate because they don't hop to it on his timetable. He'd have to find someone to tell them he's going to cut off the internet on them--and they will stay and take it.... even wonder if they could do something else that wouldn't make him mad when it's got nothing to do with them--it's has everything and all to do with him. Period. Fin.

 

Of course he is going to tell you everything that you want to hear so that you will stay in the relationship with him--that's what they do.

 

I told him he should see a therapist and he agreed.

 

and this isn't about you going with him to the therapist because that will get turned around onto you and you will be the focus instead of him and his anger issues. He needs to man-up and go see the therapist by himself for a considerable amount of time--and I'm talking 8+ months--before you should consider anything remotely like getting back with him. No one can conquer deep seated anger issues in 6 weeks.

 

btw he knows about the money but he's a proud man and has never asked me to pay anything for him. we are very equal on that. He's actually trying to protect me from my sucubus family who already want my help.. but that would be a story for another thread ahah..

 

a succubus is a nocturnal female demon. You mean "rapacious" or "greedy".

 

Thank you all so much for you support. I don't know if I'm dragging my thread for too long but I appreciate every reply I received. It makes me think a lot and I'm not done thinking for sure! I wish I was as mature and strong as you all. ( french is my first language, sorry if I write strangely)

 

It's because I'm 53 and have a 30 yr old daughter... experience of life comes through living it, which you will attain in time. I think that you are on the right track. You reached out for input, you knew enough to know something was not right in your situation with him. I believe that is a testement to your high sense of self-worth and your healthy self esteem. You are farther ahead than many young women your age. Sadly, they stay in horrible situations and waste their precious youth trying to help men who need more than what they can offer. Like I said earlier: love doesn't conquer everything. Sometimes, you have to abandon ship and swim to save your own life lest you be dragged under and drowned by the other person's issues.

 

Et Votre l'Anglais est tres bonne.

Je souhaite que je pourrais lire et écrire en français aussi bien que vous lisez et écris en anglais.

[vanana]

You are the wake up call I need, I wish I had you right here ahah.. You really know what you're talking about and expect the next moves. This morning we talked on facebook while he was at work and he said he doesnt want me move out, he'd be heartbroken and also its ridiculous because our fridge is broken so we'd have to buy one each O_o (what the hell ?). Talked about some meds he has that could calm him down and therapy ' please don,t leave now, I really love you and you got your faults too, it's jsut my tempe I got to control''. He said he just bought me online my year anniversary present while trying not to cry because we might not even make it there... It's like you're saying.. trying to get me back into this. he's already asking me where I want to go have dinner for our anniversary. I know it's probably manipulation but at the same time it hurts because it's the first time in months that he shows he cares.

 

I'm trying to get a break from school for a few months to take care of my life and get out that darkness because otherwise i'm failing and I'll have to pay if I fail and he's saying ' what would you do all this time ? being on facebook and playing video games ? Like someone on welfare.... ' I didnt like that because it's assumptions and It's my own damn time and I'll do what I want.. It's to get my sanity back. My dad told me it's non of his damn business what I do in my own time, I'm doing this for me. I want to see my therapist weekly and get back my independance and self worth.

 

A bit later on facebook it seemed like he tought the cloud passed and it was ok so I told him that nothing is ok yet and we need to talk more for sure. When I'm alone the solutions seem easier but when face to face I feel so bad. I'm keeping in mind

all the advices I got here and I'll make myself heard tonight.

 

Merci beaucoup

[Kendahke]

You're too sweet, ma petite! De rien!

 

You've got a good head on your shoulders and you're very smart. You're understanding that you need to take care of you and to get your life on solid footing. For what it's worth, I'm very proud of you. I know that what you're about to undertake is scary and it seems easier to stay put and not "rock the boat", but in the long run, what you are doing will pay dividends in your life.

 

If he knows he's got a temper he needs to control, then he needs to go work on that and vanquish that first; if life is such that you consider it wisdom to take back up with him once he's done with consistent therapy over the course of considerable time, then consider it at that time. Chances are by then you will have met a man who is stable and doesn't have abusive issues he needs to work through.

 

You can come here and get great advice from many people, so don't feel as if you're alone--I guess that's why the site is named what it is, non?

 

You're doing well!

[vanana]

I feel so bad.... I let my relationship continue but was nonstop on the internet reading about relationship stuffs.. The exgirlfriend thing is what made me very very angry tonight..

She was to be at a movie where we were going but he told me before she probably wasnt gonna sit with us since its so big etc.. but she ended up sitting with our group. I was feeling bad the whole day just knowing she was gonna be there

and felt even worse when she was with us. Right after the movie I left by myself. He stayed with them because the actors of the movies were gonna have a question and answer conference.

When he got back home I told him I was done dealing with the ex thing.. Done feeling hurt all the time. He said I'm being extremly jealous, its ridiculous. he was so mad! He walked out of the room.

Later he came back and said are you ok? I said you can speak to all your ex girlfriends, It's not my problem anymore. He got mad again. I said its not normal to keep that much contact !! If it was a 'what's up' once or twice a year I wouldnt care that

much but its not the case! He said ok then!!!! I'll reduce contact but I won't stop myself from going to places where she could be. I said you can do wathever you want I'm leaving, you're free do what you want ! I want to respect myself and you

treat me like s*** and see your ex !

 

He said ' wow you are threatening me ?' I said ' No , I'm telling you what I'm doing, I'm leaving' ... then he went to the bathroom and to the bed without a word.. I'm the bad girl here it seems...

I feel soooooo bad.. scared... feel like going to him and say sorry its alright.. But I shouldnt.. I'm always thinking about how I could be happier and more respected.. but at this moment I feel like a bad person and alone and scared...

I don't even know if I should go sleep in the bed or on the couch...

 

I wonder what's coming tomorrow....

[vanana]

Wow I don,t even understand.. later after that post he came to me and said ' why dont you go to bed ? ' , I said ' i didnt know if I should after what I told you'

he said ' we are not together anymore ? ' I said ' why should we ?' He got up. got dressed, I was asking whats going on ?? He said ' dont follow me !' got his bag and went out. what... I tought it was clear I broke up..

He came back right after 1 minute. came to me mad and said ' Do you realise that if you break up you won't see my friends anymore ? You'll be alone in an appartment schooless,jobless and with your cats'

I then said ' Are you saying I'm nothing without you?' ... he said ' no thats not what I'm saying ! Ive been making efforts all week, i didnt realise before it was that bad for you..

So I'm not sure what the hell happened.. I'm still trapped here. still will have to endure the ex ? No !!! He kept saying I was ridicule and over jealous. she is the only person he can say everything because she knows him perfectly.

and now suposedly she knows our cuople is bad. Kept saying its not respectful for me and unhealthy. He says I need to stop seeing her as competition. he thinks i'm only like that because she is tall and skinny and I want to be like that

 

I feel crazy and trapped. I don't understand how I got tricked in staying ? I feel bad and he wont give me what I want !

I feel like I'll have to run away without him knowing