Kristenelaine Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Dating..or is it? I have been seeing this man, I will call him "C", for about 2 weeks now. With meeting online I know he is probably after one thing. (I stick with this assumption while dating, online or meeting someone through friends...men really are after one thing in the beginning.) He is 33, I am 24. We talked on the phone for hours before meeting, and I must say, one of the most attractive traits I look for in the men I date is if they can carry a conversation. This led to some excitement and I was starting to look forward to meeting him. But, then he pulled the same thing all men seem to pull these days...he started to make things sexual. Started as flirty banter, some innocent pictures, and hints..then quickly led up to full out telling me sexual things, nude pictures, and sex being all he talked about. It's all in good fun, so I continued to flirt etc. (I dont sent really promiscuous pictures unless I am with someone, so he has not received anything in that nature from me.) We have both said we are looking for more, but have no expectations and no pressure on the situation. What will be will be. Anyway, we go out on our first and second dates. He is very forward the entire time. I am pretty sure if you saw us walking around the mall you would think we were a couple that had been together for a year or more. At the end of each date I let him know he is very forward and that I am just not ready to have sex. He told me that he respects that and would wait a month if I wanted....so...I am going to make him wait. I want to see if he will wait. I want to see if he is a man of his word. I told him I wanted to wait a month then. Be flirty and open, but to please not be as grabby and forward as he has been. If that is who he is, I understand. He made a remark while he dropped me off after our second date, that if he couldnt touch me he would just have to touch other girls. (now, he did not mean this literally..he was kidding and so far he doesnt seem like he is a manwhore). Of course, even though he was joking, I was offended. DUH! So this is when I stepped out of his car and told him "If you want someone easy, hit the bar scene. If you are looking to keep me around for a while you aren't doing a very good job. I can tell by looking at you that you could have any girl you wanted, but you may not get this one." He quickly apologized and asked me to get back into the car so we could talk about it. (I should mention things were getting a bit heated in the car between us after our kiss and I wanted to slow down.) Anyway, we talked about it and I went inside. He called me when he got home to tell me that he is happy I stopped things. Said that hanging out with me has been a nice change. I know this man is after my "cookie." But he also says and does things that lead me to believe he is after something more as well. He has told me he wants to find someone special, soneone he can have fun with. That a passionate sex life is apart of that but he will wait because he sees more with me. He has asked me why I am so hesitant to have sex since I will "see him again and again for a very long time." The reason I want to keep this journal is to keep track of my experiences while dating, this man inpaticular, as he is the hardest man I have had to figure out in a long time. I know he wants sex, but it seems he is after a little more than that as well. I have yet to decide whether or not I want to sleep with this man or not. I am going to wait the month he said he would wait and then see what happens. Not looking for advice on any particular problem..just a discussion board to help me figure out what the heck is going on. Even if noone sees this or comments on it I am going to continue using it as an outlet. No questions or concerns as of yet. Link to comment
Kristenelaine Posted July 13, 2013 Author Share Posted July 13, 2013 C met up with me yesterday have a work get together. He took me home so I could change. We went for a all, dinner, and to watch the cities fireworks. Definitely a great night Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 of course all men want sex. women too. and the point of dating is to find someone to have sex with. and maybe share a lifetime with. lol. imho, and i'm not a prude, but any guy i haven't even met that starts with the sexy talk is off my list for good. i mean, i think that this guy is looking for something VERY casual and very sexual. if you're looking for a guy who is looking for a relationship, i would keep things not so X-rated. Link to comment
Kristenelaine Posted July 15, 2013 Author Share Posted July 15, 2013 Had a fantastic weekend. He came and picked me up Friday afternoon from a day out with friends, took me home to change. We went for a walk, dinner, and fireworks. He went out Saturday with friends to the Calgary Stampede and called me 4 times. Yesterday he took me to an air show that was in town and introduced me to some friends of his. I found out he is older than he let on, he didn't lie I just assumed he was a certain age. Not too sure how I feel about it yet Link to comment
luminousone Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 I love the boundaries you set for him! Ultimately his actions will be the guide of whether he is sincere of his words on pursuing a more serious relationship. His comment about finding someone else for a sexual release was very disrespectful to you but you handled that well. I would be very guarded about dating him though, because often there is an element of truth in jokes that people say... Even if they say they don't mean it. When you say you found out his real age- does that mean he is older than 33?? Link to comment
Kristenelaine Posted July 16, 2013 Author Share Posted July 16, 2013 Yes, he told me he is 37. He told me that at dinner a couple days ago. He asked if it was going to be a problem and I told him I am not sure, but wanted to continue seeing him. Havent heard much from him since. He is pulling the "fade away" which is alright with me, I am not very emotionally invested and saw this coming. When a man, or even a woman goes from texting and calling to nothing at all....they are fading away. When I text him he replies right away. But I just sense something is up. I will keep everyone posted. Link to comment
Kristenelaine Posted July 17, 2013 Author Share Posted July 17, 2013 He came at me with "Long ass day and now am tired again....work, eat, shower and sleep...that's my weekly routine" All I have to say, is his busy routine didn't bother him last week or the week before Link to comment
Kristenelaine Posted July 17, 2013 Author Share Posted July 17, 2013 So, I am just not going to overthink things anymore. If he wants it he can come and get it. He has been texting more, probably because I have gone quiet. This whole dating game sucks. I think we over complicate things, I know I do. So I am just going to relax and let life happen Link to comment
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