"Something like that..."

[speak]

Hello all,

 

Here is the story:

 

I work in customer service at a highly busy cafe. There is a very attractive man that comes in probably 3x's a week max and get's an iced coffee. He started coming around in mid-April. The shop is located off an industrial road in which he works off of. One day I was stocking items on the store side of the cafe and he walked over to grab something and put his hands on his hips, and said, "You are out of coffee!" I replied, "We are, how?" and he said with hands on his hips still, "You are only out of my kind!" I said, "I am sorry!" And he said smiling, "You are not. No you aren't!" We ended up gazing at eachother for a bit until I caught myself and shyly looked away.

 

Since then he comes in and often times I get the chance to ring his order and other times not. When he comes in he always looks at me a bit longer than a person normally should. At times with smiling eyes. I can be stocking something and just feel somebody watching me and it'll be him looking at me. When he enters the store and I greet him with a "Hello" he will literally stop and stare. If I am not the one to ring him up, he will literally not take his eyes off of me. It's like he has tunnel vision for me. When he does get in my line, he is very soft spoken to me and blushes and smiles.

 

SO, I like him and finally asked one of my co-workers to ask him if he had a wife while I was out on vacation this week. She said he came in yesterday and when she asked him if he had a wife he replied, "Something like that." which is not a direct answer. In my opinion. She told him, "Just know that you have a crush." and he wanted to know who but she would not tell and he just said, "Well that's cool."

 

SO, I have been inside my head trying to figure out, what "Something like that" means. Could he have a live-in gf or maybe he is seperated? or what? And if he does have a GF then why does he always stare me out and blush around me?

 

Advice?

[mhowe]

He has a wife or live in gf. He is just flirting.

[speak]

Why would he just continually flirt though?

It drives me insane because he seems perfect.

[Pineapplepain]

Flirting is fun.

[mhowe]

Flirting is harmless.

[speak]

Yeah, I guess.

But I rarely every flirt back. I just let him do his thing and it's like he keeps trying to gain my attention. IDK.

[mhowe]

Flirting does not have to be a two way street!

[speak]

I guess not.

[ParisPaulette]

"Something like that" means yes, I have a wife or a fiancee or a girlfriend. No matter which of these things it is the answer is still the same: He's not avaiable, but doesn't want to say it since he might be getting a booty call out of the deal if he keeps muzzled about it.

 

As to why he flirts uh, men and women have been doing that since the dawn of time to get what they want whether that's an ego boost, a free coffee, better service or even to get laid. Not all flirting is an "I like you and want to hopefully have a committed relationship with you in the future." Sorry to be so blunt, but if he's got someone and he's flirting like that and acting all mysterious about his SO, who he should be proudly talking about, then this is not the sort of guy you want to have anything to do with. Smile, be polite, treat him like the customer he is and avoid anything else at all costs. More than one married guy has flirted his way into an affair with someone, heck guys (and girls) like that are usually the most charming, sweet, funny people you ever want to meet. Until you're on the other side of a love affair gone bad anyways. As a former coffee shop girl I can't even begin to count the number of married and committed men who flirted up a storm with me, because they just wanted some no strings fun. It was basically up to me to tell each and every one of them to hit the road before it got too far and you're going to have to do the same.

[speak]

I understand.

[ParisPaulette]

It sucks though, I do remember that. The good news is there are just as many cute, single guys out there that you can meet through your work too. Keep that in mind.

[speak]

It does suck. I am 24 years old, single, a virgin and I have just been waiting for the right guy. It feels like he will nevverrr come.

[Liraele]

Ugh.

 

"Something like that."

 

I would say that he's open to something on the side, most likely. Every guy or girl I have ever known who says things like that is a constant fisher, just waiting for the right opportunity.

T.R.O.U.B.L.E.

[ParisPaulette]

I know waiting is a drag, but I know from hard-won experience that it's better to wait for a good one while you pass the bad ones by. Of course, in the mean time have fun getting to know all sorts of people, you just have to learn to weed out the time wasters and users but that's something we all have to learn since (sadly) these people do not come with a warning tatooed accross their foreheads. Sigh, would that it were that easy.

[Heather Dawn]

"Something like that" means he has what amounts to a wife - a live-in girlfriend - and the flirting is probably more light banter.