When you KNOW you are UGLY.

[Dougie_D]

You know you are ugly when people:

 

1. Say "I want to help you"

 

2. Say "You are a project"

 

3. Say "Dress better"

 

4. Say "You look better with a beard"

 

5. Say "You are are out of her league"

 

6. Say "It's not about looks"

 

...

Disagree or NOt?!

[Dougie_D]

I am a completely HONEST person! I try not to be mysterious or misleading. I feel like this HURTS me!!!! Why??!!!!!!!

 

Girls want a good looking guy! Why?!!! Or being attracted to them! How can I be attractive?! Please tell me!

 

PM me and I'll give you a link to my OKcupid profile! What am I doing wrong!

[memento]

There isn't very many looking guys around. You are on a level playing field with 80-90% of men.

[Kendahke]

a confident man is far more appealing than a good looking one...

 

what you lack in looks, you should be able to make up in confidence. Thing is, you don't have confidence--that is evident by your posts here. Work on that.

[DN]

Don't forget that some women look upon men as a sort of Ken doll that they get to make-over so you can discount their comments immediately.

[memento]

Dougie_D, how many messages have you sent to women on there?

[NymphaeaLilly]

I don't know how you look like but trust me when I say that beauty comes from within the person.

I know a guy who's overweighted (his BMI is around 33 while normal is under 25) and far from beautiful but he's such an interesting person that girls fall for him, well he doesn't have a horde of women following him around but he has had his share of girls.

The most attractive thing on him and most other people I consider attractive is CONFIDANCE!

Work on being more confidant and bettering your self-image. That's the key.

[nutbrownhare]

Yep - I used to know a guy who looked like the stereotypical boffin - prematurely balding, little piggy eyes with thick glasses, receding chin, all that.

 

He was also very confident, funny, adventurous and kind. He never had any shortage of women, either as partners or as friends, and eventually married a lovely lady.

[benjii]

my best friend i know im a little mean but he is definitely not a good looking person maybe a 3/10 but his so confident, funny and outgoing super hot girls fall from him i tell you know its not all about look

[Coily]

This may bit of a Hijack, but I think it would benefit the OP.

 

Everyone talks about work on building confidence, but how does one do that?

I know the cynical will say success breeds confidence, and success is won through confidence in the dating world.

[NymphaeaLilly]

This may bit of a Hijack, but I think it would benefit the OP.

 

Everyone talks about work on building confidence, but how does one do that?

I know the cynical will say success breeds confidence, and success is won through confidence in the dating world.

 

First, what are confidence and self-esteem?

According to dictionary, confidance is belief in yourself and your abilities.

While self-esteem is used to reflect a person 's overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth (from wiki).

So to gain confidance you need to start focusing on good parts of your personality and accept your flaws cuz you are human and no human will ever be perfect.

 

First write down all the things you like about yourself, no matter how small and insignificant they seem (for example I love my brows...random I know). This will help you establish a more positive view of yourself.

Than write down a list of things you find appealing in other people, ie. honesty, spontaneousness, generosity, adventurousness, nice hair, slim body, good at video games, witty etc.

To become more confidant you need to work on adopting those new virtues. It's not an easy process and it definitely isn't going to happen over night. It's a long hard work bettering yourself, but once you reach your goal all the hard work would pay off.

 

Also you can look for a therapist or councilor to help you through this process.

[buddha55]

confidence, self-esteem, those will go a long well.

 

As well as good personal hygiene and presentation.

 

To me you can be ugly with a poor personality.

 

And you can be unattractive if you are unkempt.... dirty teeth, nails, unshowered, hair doesn't have a good cut, clothes are dirty and wrinkly....

 

it's hard to be ugly.

[jonny15]

Yep - I used to know a guy who looked like the stereotypical boffin - prematurely balding, little piggy eyes with thick glasses, receding chin, all that.

 

He was also very confident, funny, adventurous and kind. He never had any shortage of women, either as partners or as friends, and eventually married a lovely lady.

 

Not everyone has those qualities.

 

We aren't all super funny and have loads of charisma.

 

And we all don't just have natural confidence.

 

If there is nothing to help reinforce the confidence, then how do you have it?

[blueidealist24]

Not everyone has those qualities.

 

We aren't all super funny and have loads of charisma.

 

And we all don't just have natural confidence.

 

If there is nothing to help reinforce the confidence, then how do you have it?

 

Maybe you just need to fake confidence until it gets you enough in life in order to develop real confidence. There's a theory that that will work, because faking confidence will bring you some results, which will make you actually feel truly confident.

 

Dougie, even if you aren't the greatest looking, a lot of guys aren't and still have girlfriends.

 

I'm on a social anxiety forum as well as this one and there's this really attractive guy who can't get any dates or even people to hook up with him, because of his social anxiety, so that's evidence that personality and confidence do matter A LOT.

[jonny15]

Maybe you just need to fake confidence until it gets you enough in life in order to develop real confidence. There's a theory that that will work, because faking confidence will bring you some results, which will make you actually feel truly confident.

 

Dougie, even if you aren't the greatest looking, a lot of guys aren't and still have girlfriends.

 

I'm on a social anxiety forum as well as this one and there's this really attractive guy who can't get any dates or even people to hook up with him, because of his social anxiety, so that's evidence that personality and confidence do matter A LOT.

 

I really don't think I could fake confidence at all.

 

I've never felt confident, so I wouldn't even know how to make it look real.

 

Sorry, but I do believe that there has to be some positive reinforcement to get you confidence.

 

To get confident in dating, you need to have success.

 

I don't see how I could have confidence in it or anything without success.

 

I'm also ugly. Probably uglier than the OP. And i've never had any woman ever compliment me on my looks ever.

[NymphaeaLilly]

I really don't think I could fake confidence at all.

 

I've never felt confident, so I wouldn't even know how to make it look real.

 

Sorry, but I do believe that there has to be some positive reinforcement to get you confidence.

 

To get confident in dating, you need to have success.

 

I don't see how I could have confidence in it or anything without success.

 

I'm also ugly. Probably uglier than the OP. And i've never had any woman ever compliment me on my looks ever.

 

 

Confidence is all about accepting and loving yourself just the way you are.

 

If you don't love yourself and only see yourself as an ugly losers...well how do you expect others to see you any differently?!

 

And "good looks" are so overrated...me and my friends never agree on which guy looks good, we all have different standards..."beauty is in the eye of a beholder".

[jonny15]

Confidence is all about accepting and loving yourself just the way you are.

 

If you don't love yourself and only see yourself as an ugly losers...well how do you expect others to see you any differently?!

 

Accepting what? I'm ugly, don't talk well, and i'm not good at anything.

 

Nobody else has ever liked me. So there must not be that much good about me.

 

Tho I do consider myself to be funny. But then again, i'm the only one that laughs at my humor. LOL

 

And "good looks" are so overrated...me and my friends never agree on which guy looks good, we all have different standards..."beauty is in the eye of a beholder".

 

And the beholders either have really high standards or all of them find me gross since none have ever shown any interest in me.

[Fudgie]

jonny,

 

I think you need to figure out what you, personally, have to offer a partner.

 

We all have different things to offer. No one is perfect. But what do you bring to the table?

 

I am very Plain Jane and have serious weight and medical issues, but some people really like my personality. I may not make much money now but I am a hard worker. I also have varied interests. That is what I bring to the table. It is not for everyone but I like what I have to offer and that's what gives me some confidence.

[jonny15]

jonny,

 

I think you need to figure out what you, personally, have to offer a partner.

 

We all have different things to offer. No one is perfect. But what do you bring to the table?

 

I am very Plain Jane and have serious weight and medical issues, but some people really like my personality. I may not make much money now but I am a hard worker. I also have varied interests. That is what I bring to the table. It is not for everyone but I like what I have to offer and that's what gives me some confidence.

 

Well....i've never did well with other people.

 

They generally don't take to me in a positive manner.

 

They may talk to me, but they generally still think negativly of me.

 

I was the type that got picked on when I was in school.

 

Even the people that acted like my friends would at certain times still make fun of me in a nasty way.

 

I've never felt like anyone outside of my family ever has really even liked me in any manner.

 

The only being outside of my family that comes close to liking me are my cats. And they probably only like me because I give them tons of food.

[Fudgie]

I didn't ask about who likes you or not right now... I mean, what do you bring to the table for a potential partner?

[jonny15]

I didn't ask about who likes you or not right now... I mean, what do you bring to the table for a potential partner?

 

The heck If I know.

 

I consider myself a loyal person. But I really don't have mcuh of a grasp of what it takes to be in relashionship, other than what I read on these forums.

 

Hell...I have enough trouble making/keeping friends.

 

I don't know how to do much.

[Fudgie]

Okay, loyal is good. But what else?

 

Having a partner is a lot like having a friend honestly. Aside from sex.

 

What would you offer a friend? What could you do to enhance their lives?

[jonny15]

Okay, loyal is good. But what else?

 

Having a partner is a lot like having a friend honestly. Aside from sex.

 

What would you offer a friend? What could you do to enhance their lives?

 

I have no idea.

 

Hopefully make them laugh?

 

A friend to me is someone you talk and hang out with, but that you don't have sex with.

 

A girlfriend would be a friend I want to have sex with.

[Fudgie]

I mean, the dynamic is different but for me, I think it's important to be friends with your partner. I've always spent far more time joking and playing around with my partner rather than gushy stuff anyway.

 

A guy who makes a girl laugh is good but that's only one trait.

 

Seriously, what do you bring to the table? Looks? Personality? Loyalty? Money? Conversation? Mutual interests? Warmth? Love? Charisma? Hard worker? Many things.

[jonny15]

I mean, the dynamic is different but for me, I think it's important to be friends with your partner. I've always spent far more time joking and playing around with my partner rather than gushy stuff anyway.

 

Being their friend can also cause it to go nowhere.

 

 

Seriously, what do you bring to the table? Looks? Personality? Loyalty? Money? Conversation? Mutual interests? Warmth? Love? Charisma? Hard worker? Many things.

 

No looks. Nobody seems to like my personality. I usually am thought of as weird.

 

I've mentioned loyalty.

 

I have no money.

 

I can hold a conversation if it's about something i know. Tho I ususally don't have many conversations with women.

 

i'm not charismatic at all.

 

And I dunno about warm, since i'm not good with feelings.