He said he doesn't like me.. am I deluding myself?

[turnthepage]

I recently posted a thread about a guy who is 19 and I am 26 (I know, age gap issues. I've however decided I do not care)

 

We had a great night out before our Easter break at uni which involved him having his arms around me and saying it was a night he would never forget. We completely bonded and had 8 hours of straight conversation.

 

Anyway we went out again last night (Initiated by him, we are uni friends though so it wasn't a date). We are part of a wider circle of friends and I half expected him to invite someone else but he didn't. Also his friends were out at a close bar but he said he didn't want to invite them

 

Again, we had the best night. He said about 6 times that it felt we'd been out for 20 minutes but that hours had passed. He said I was really attractive and that I had amazing eyelashes. Silly things. We were talking about love and he said so who are you going to fall in love with and he asked me what I like in a guy.

 

Anyway, his friends joined us after we'd been out 6 hours. He knew his friend was on his way into the bar and he friendzoned me about 20 seconds before. He said something along the lines of us probably killing eachother in a relationship and that we were better as friends (I am guessing this is based on the fact we are both student scientists and have very strong opposing opinions on only two things, animal testing and meat eating). I was shocked because he really had been so flirtatious then this felt like a bomb and I don't think I hid my disappointment well. He kept saying don't you agree, don't you agree and I kind of mumbled maybe but I don't know and he was like "sorry". He kept asking and asking if I agreed and I wasn't going to say "no, I don't and I want you so much!" This conversation was interrupted by his friends joining us.

 

I feel like it's time to let this go and to distance myself from him as it seems he's pretty clear on how we feels and that I'm friendzoned or even worse big sister or something!! it's just so paradoxical to earlier conversations. He told me none of his friends thought I was 26 so he's spoken about me to them. He said his friend text saying he didn't want to interrupt his romantic night so might not come. He opened up about family things that have happened.. then friend zones me. I have said before, I am a strong and independent lady and do not have these feelings very often so it's hitting me hard. Surely now he's said that my only option is to move on?

 

We also agreed to do a film day soon and he's also coming to my house next weekend to meet my friends who aren't at our uni! I am less keen on these ideas now I've discovered he probably doesn't reciprocate my feelings

 

I think I need to forget seeing him like I do?

[mhowe]

Yes --- you do. He was flirting with you. Period. And apparently when his friend said "I don't want to interrupt your romantic evening" to him, and the friend still came...it was because he got the green light from the guy. At 19/26....there is a huge age gap. You could have been his babysitter!!!!

 

So, accept friend zone --- this doesn't have dating potential.

[Silverbirch]

I'm not 100 per cent of what he would have meant because of his age, he wouldn't likely be as socially developed as you are with members of the opposite sex so you can't really expect him to have the dating/relationship and communication skills. Just my thoughts and of course could be wrong. I'd say there is the possibility that he was also testing you out for your reaction. For the time-being at least, you should just view him as a friend - unless you feel REALLY upset, maybe you could make an excuse for the upcoming event and go back to seeing him when you feel more that you have a grip on things.

[offplanet]

I think he was tempted, but the age gap stopped him and he suddenly decided 'no'. You can only accept it. It'd be better not to keep those plans with him as it'll only be hard on you. Don't get your hopes up, as he's made his decision.