Boyfriend dumped me cause Im 31, feeling like a used klennex

[reborn]

My ex dumped me cause I was 31 and he said and that if we continued dating for 2 more years he would feel guilty if he didn't marry me cause it would be like criminal of him or something to date me in last of my prime years. I din't talk to him about marriage or anything and Im not the type of girl to be into the whole biological clock ticking thing .Needless to say I felt like crap. Im not your typical 31 yr old, in fact I look as young as 22, when guessing my age people usually say 24 and the most they have ever said was 27. Im also quite attractive.

The little bastard is 28 but told me after it being an issue for him about my age that he wants to have other girlfriends before settling down. We went out for 2 years with a few breakups in between-- last time we were broken up for 6 months and he begged to be back in cause he loved me so much, and couldn't see himself with anyone else, etc. Stupid a** he knew about my age before and now he dumps me, cause of my age in part. I feel used he knew about my age before. He said had "if you would been 24 I would have continued dating you"

 

I'm feeling like an old bag lately. How would you react to this crap?

Comments please

[CarterJonas]

Life sometimes isn't fair; your ex. boyfriend definitely wasn't to you.

 

On the other hand he has now told you his feelings and that he is not ready to settle with a steady girlfriend. My interpretation of the matter is that he want to date other girls at this moment, which has nothing to do with 'marriage'.

 

My advice is to close this chapter in your life and move on to the next page.

 

good luck

[RayKay]

I think personally he was using this an excuse...one of those reasons to justify fact he just did not want to be in this relationship anymore. Because obviously, if it does not matter to you, it should not matter to him - if you were trying to pressure him it would be different but from what you said you were not.

 

I am going to go with the whole line I am now using..."he is just not that into you", because if he was, the age would not matter, and he would know he was going to be marrying you anyway making the issue null and void. You deserve better than this guy, if he comes crawling back again - don't take him back. I think anytime you have had mutliple breakups, it is time to move on.

 

Good luck

[Mun]

Hi reborn,

I agree with Raykay I too think that he is using this as an excuse--and a very hurtful one at that because there is nothing you can do about you age. UGH

 

I have dated younger guys before. The youngest being 12 years younger and the age never came up as an issue.( Maybe because I don't act my age? )

 

Still, was usually me who decided to move on because I wasn't getting what I wanted from the relationship anymore. I dated someone my age too and he ended up being more immature than the younger guy--go figure !

 

This guy has issues and it is really not your fault. He is probably going to find fault with whoever he dates when he no longer wants to be there. I really do think this was just an excuse.

 

You will find someone better.. we usually do. Keep your chin up. You're not an old bag. You're in your prime -- trust me.

[sf]

He is just a player.....forget him

[guy40az]

I can understand how you are feeling he made you feel like you were to old for him and that made you feel old, I can tell you any one (Male or Female) that has people guessing there age to be 5 to 10 years younger then they are should feel really lucky and I know he is going to realize he made a mistake in leaving you, but you really deserve better then that any way and I am sure you will find a better man to be with.

[reborn]

I just wanna thank everyone a lot for replying to my post. this is something difficult for me to deal with, but your responses make me feel so much better. So please keep them coming. It is soooo good to hear he is a little jerk. I always defend him. Keep those answer coming. Thanks for the support, you guys are the best!

[JonnyG]

U sound like my ex . At the start of the year I was seeing a 30 year old (now 31). Who after 7 weeks decided to get back with her ex (they had split up because "it was getting serious and he was only young") because he begged for her back. It still hurts now after 8 months because I felt so strongly for her. Treated her great and we had a fun time together. She always made out like she was worried that I would leave her and go find some1 else. Ironic really that after accusing me of perhaps seeing some1 else she then goes back a week later to her ex . If this guy is like most of her ex's it won't have a happy ending. Every ex bf she told me about had seemed to be bad boys. Her ex husband was apparently a "penis" (well it was another word but i can't type it due to the rules but u can guess what it was), because he didn't care about her, and of her bfs, 1 cheated on her, 1 was a complete druggie, 1 didn't care about her at all and was completely vain. On our first date I took her for a coffee where she told me she haden't "done this before"??? 30 years old and never been taken for a coffee with a bf

 

I wonder why her ex decided to split up/have a break from seeing her? I think he might of thought she was too old. Decided to look for some1 else who was younger or just because he was getting bored of her. Im guessing it was him who made the decision to split as it was him asking for her back, and she was looking to date other people. Will they last together? Who knows? She seems desperate for him apparently despite the fact he seems to be a control freak and a big hypocrite. Well, I still hope it works out for her . I think there would of been a good chance she would of stayed with me had I been older, but the age gap of 8 and a half years was too much, thereforeeee her ex was the better man to take (im guessing he is 26+, compared to me being 22)

 

 

As much as I miss her as she was the only the second girl in my life I've ever had proper feeling for (and the first girl I've had feelings for and actually gone out with them), I to would be worried if we were together whether I would be able to stay with her for the rest of my life. When I hit 30 she would be 38/39. At that age I might get tempted by girls younger girls. Its for the best I guess. My mum and dad would be furious due to her age and that she had a child. *sigh*, I still miss her so bad for some reason, even though she hurt me badly (and it still does hurt), I still defend her if my friends mock her, I don't know why, I guess I just don't like some1 mocking some1 I care about. She still responds to my tx messages despite the fact she told me that if she can't be bothered with some1 she will ignore them. Whether she would still respond to my txs now im unsure, I haven't tx her since end of August and don't plan to til Christmas (just to say "Happy Christmas" and ask hows she doing basically) if ever. To be honest talking to her will probably just drag out the pain, so its prob best not to bother.

 

I need to find some1 else

 

P.S: If u are my ex, the coffee offer is still on

[reborn]

Hi JonnyG,

 

I just wrote a posting that got taken off because I got a little upset and went off over a statement you made that I didn't feel was very sensitive, towards your ex or towards any woman, or human being for that matter. It is the following statement:

 

As much as I miss her as she was the only the second girl in my life I've ever had proper feeling for (and the first girl I've had feelings for and actually gone out with them), I to would be worried if we were together whether I would be able to stay with her for the rest of my life. When I hit 30 she would be 38/39. At that age I might get tempted by girls younger girls.

 

I won't make any of the comments I made in the previous posting that got erased because I actually was quite rude about my response. I feel I vented already just by writing it before, though I don't think anyone got a chance to read it.

 

In any case I decided to post again and bring your attention to this statement. Don't you think that it is unfair to measure her by this standard? Food for thought.