Getting a complex at the gym

[quirky]

I recently joined a gym, it's the first time I've been to one. I feel very out of place there, it's not my scene at all. I lead a rock and roll kinda lifestyle just without the drugs. Being 'healthy' was at the bottom of my list.

 

Last year I gained some weight (15lbs) because I wasn't looking after myself. I joined the gym to help myself and to do something different.

 

There seem to be only slim people at the gym. I am not fat, I do have extra but I see a few people down the street my size. Not at the gym. It's giving me a bit of a complex. I try to focus on why I am there and that I want to lose weight and to ignore how fast others are but it's affecting me. Every exercise I do I have to say these things to myself 'ignore how good they are and keep going'. But there are mirrors everywhere and I can see how well others are doing

 

My outfit is also not great because I am quite poor at the moment. I have summoned together a couple of pieces but I don't have the total gym wear.

 

I feel VERY unconfident at the gym. Why are there no bigger people there? The trainer showed us the Power Plate the other day and I am still aching 3 days later! The other 2 girls of course were slim. It has really affected my self esteem where I don't even wanna date anyone until I lose the weight. I even found myself thinking I must not be good in bed because I didn't exercise. It's giving me a bit of a complex overall of feeling unattractive.

 

I never thought I was that bad because I am quite energetic and enthusiastic. I don't wanna give up but I want to somewhow feel better about myself when I'm there.

[agent1607307371]

How many times have you been? Sometimes I go and everyone there looks like they've fallen off a magazine cover, and sometimes when I go...

 

I also don't wear expensive "gym wear". I'm not going to shell out money for clothes that I am only going to sweat into.

 

Focus on yourself, not anyone else. You're all there for the same reason, doing the same thing.

[happyfrank]

Cheer up! I been going to the gym for 10 years. Never notice the people around me. Just do what you gotta do. Good luck.

[quirky]

How many times have you been?

 

About 6 times. I go with a male friend and he's in a similar fitness level so we encourage each other.

 

I been going to the gym for 10 years

 

Wow..do you never get bored? Same thing over and over again, or do you change your routine?

[turnthepage]

Keep going. I have lost 102 pounds in 22 months from going to the gym when I felt ugly/fat/pre-menstrual/unmotivated/heartbroken. Do not look around you, focus on you. I have made a friend at the gym and she is beautiful. We talk a lot. I am still a curvy girl with 30+ pounds to lose and I am a sweaty mess the whole time I am there.. yet I have had three guys ask me out at the gym and she hasn't had any. It is not a competition, but what you think is not attractive, another person will find attractive. Noticing a problem and trying to fix it through hard work and dedication is attractive in itself.

 

Keep going.

[itsallgrand]

Might be the gym. There are all kinds of gyms, fitness centers, some double as spa and some double as club and some double as family center and some are utilitarian no frills and some are downright scary hard core! If you aren't used to gyms, you could try out a whole bunch ...most places have guest passes and free days for visitors.

 

Other than that, don't worry. This is why they invented women's gyms and so many places try to cater to this 'where every day joe feels comfortable' thing BECAUSE the gym can be sooo intimidating and unnerving to a lot of people. You are not alone!! I think half the battle though is finding a gym that suits you and your needs at the time. At one point, I was going to a health center...now I just go to a Y. The Y has a pool and classes galore and lots of equipment and has a wide variety of people. Suits me for popping in and out and being fairly anonymous. I don't like too much 'specialized attention' - that makes me uncomfortable. So there is usually a place to suit anyone...but first time nerves are normal...

 

I wear some grungy stuff. I go and work out, don't socialize much, and really let my hair down. Sweating and panting and drooling...kay maybe not drooling.

 

Have you not seen yet then some of the other specimens who come into the gym besides the fitness people?! the women who come in with full make up on? The people coming in dressed in high fashion? lol. The insecure obese person who carefully takes some tentative steps on the treadmill? The older person just trying to keep their cholesterol down? The skinny guy trying to gain some confidence and muscles?

 

I'm not trying to put anyone down. My point is more that all types of people work out for all types of reasons, and that to me is reassuring and comforting. I don't go in to judge anyone, and that takes the care off if anyone is judging ME. She wants to come in and chat with full make up and do ten slow minutes on the elliptical? Cool, whatever. And those working hard I take power out of those folks, they are inspiring! Whether it is the middle aged woman getting another set in on the weights or the elderly man who is kicking ass in the pool, it helps give me energy too. If I'm having a particularly hard time one day, sometimes I get a kick out of pushing myself further thinking "ohh look at her, if she can do it, I can too".

 

Use it in your work outs. It works! So does using primitive animal energy of looking at all the men sweating. Hey whatever works.

[FarCry]

I think everyone gets a bit nervous going to a new gym. I have noticed the same thing about my gym.. mostly very fit people. But.. the reason that there are a bunch of fit people.. is because it's a gym! The mirrors are all over so that you can make sure you are using the proper form when you lift. Use the mirrors!

 

I'd recommend getting a training package.. they usually offer a 3 pack for next to nothing for new members. The trainer will show you around and will make sure you are doing the exercises properly. Just having someone there to "show you the ropes" will help build your confidence about being there. You will see some pretty quick gains in the first 3 months of working out.. but you have to stick to a diet and a routine!

 

Don't be embarrassed about how you look at the gym.. every single person in the place started exactly where you are. If you stick to a routine.. you can achieve any body type you put your mind to!

[Jetta]

Those are just the people you are noticing, or perhaps your hitting that particular time. There are always newbies, I'm one of them at my gym, but I don't feel entirely out of place because I know exercise is a key ingredient in regaining control of my body. I just wear sweat pants and a brightly colored t-shirt. I do need a sports bra (the one I have is a large and too small), and probably new sneakers, but for now this will have to do. The shirt is long, I tried on others because I'm basically the only brightly colored shirt wearer there, but this one works for the purpose.

 

So go about your business do the best you can with whatever you're doing and enjoy the results of your efforts!

[Throwaway999]

I was the same way. I am a rock n' roller and I never cared about fitness before, but as you get older I think it is only natural to start worrying more about taking care of yourself. You've only gone 6 times, it is really going to take more than that to see or feel any changes so just force yourself to stick with it and eventually you'll get to the point where you are addicted.

 

I was going to the gym for a long while before I really began to get into better shape. Seriously, look at it as a slllllooooooowwwww, long-term process, not something that you are going to jump right into and see results right away. Even as I got into better shape (could lift more, run faster/longer) I still didn't see much improvement looks-wise until I really focused on my nutrition as well. I had to start eating right, cut back on the beer and crap foods. That's really when it got to the point that people noticed I had lost weight and looked better. And seeing results is really what makes you stick with it. Once I really lost some weight and actually started to look better, I was hooked.

 

My regimen:

 

Cardio every day (45 minutes)

Strength workout twice weekly (avoid machines, they isolate the muscles too much. Go with stuff that works multiple muscle groups: pull ups, chin ups, dips, push ups, squats, cruches. Free weights and full-body exercises make you have to balance and tone your whole body)

Protein shakes all the damn time (if you don't get enough protein you won't see any improvement in muscle tone) and cut out junk food and drinking your calories (soda/beer).

 

Just keep doing it even if you hate it, and eventually you will get mad when you can't go!

[daddids]

If you want my personal opinion on this, if you can go to the gym alone ( yes even without your friend ) then do it.

Put some music on and do your thing. But the most important thing is to have a goal and time due. Not 100% precise but still will help you. If you do not have a goal you will not have the motivation. Without motivation you will not have the will go to on. That is where most people fail.

 

Another great tip is not to give a damn about the people around you. Doesnt matter if they are more fit or fat, doesnt matter if they wear fancy clothes, doesnt matter if they look great or not. Just be patient and persistent on your goal.

 

I went from the guy who looked at others in the gym, to the guy that others look at in 2 years.

 

To sum up:

-Set a goal

-Set a timeline

-Mind your own business

[quirky]

Have you not seen yet then some of the other specimens who come into the gym besides the fitness people?! the women who come in with full make up on? The people coming in dressed in high fashion? lol. The insecure obese person who carefully takes some tentative steps on the treadmill? The older person just trying to keep their cholesterol down? The skinny guy trying to gain some confidence and muscles?

 

Specimens..haha. There's variation in your gym it seems, I could enjoy some sociological experiements there..lol Women wear make up? No I haven't seen that in the gym.

 

I can't go to another gym, this one is low cost. I tried Zumba and I liked it but have to pay extra sadly. I wish they had more classes because you spend one hour in Aerobics and you're done. I struggled to stay motivated today..I did an hour though.

 

FarCry- I can't afford a trainer, I wish I could, but I picked up some leaflets of exercises for specific areas and that's helpful.

 

 

If you want my personal opinion on this, if you can go to the gym alone ( yes even without your friend ) then do it.

 

Why do you suggest that I wonder..?

[quirky]

That was helpful, thanks.

 

Are protein shakes essential if I just wanna lose weight? I don't wanna buff up, just tone up a bit and burn fat.

I have to say I don't completely understand the gym language you use there I might have to google it !

I go 3 times a week, do I need to go more? For 1 hr but it doesn't go by quickly at all.

 

Hard to believe you're now addicted, did you have to push yourself to go or did you like it straight from the beginning?

Another point you make is the beer. It's been on my mind lately too..I do drink a lot when I go out.

[Batya33]

I'm slim/in good shape and I work out every day. When I see women who are overweight I simply feel impressed and in my head I say "you go girl!". I also love when I get to see them improve - so please don't feel intimidated!

[quirky]

Thanks, that helps ! You know..I think the same when I see some other people struggling if they're big..I think 'good on you' for trying. I should be more confident now I am going to the gym trying to improve but the opposite is happening.

 

I saw some more ordinary people at the gym today, that was helpful.

 

Keep going. I have lost 102 pounds in 22 months from going to the gym when I felt ugly/fat/pre-menstrual/unmotivated/heartbroken. Do not look around you, focus on you. I have made a friend at the gym and she is beautiful. We talk a lot. I am still a curvy girl with 30+ pounds to lose and I am a sweaty mess the whole time I am there.. yet I have had three guys ask me out at the gym and she hasn't had any. It is not a competition, but what you think is not attractive, another person will find attractive. Noticing a problem and trying to fix it through hard work and dedication is attractive in itself.

 

Keep going.

 

Thank you so much for that, it feels nice coming from someone else trying to lose weight. Well done for your weight loss, you have lost so much ! I would like to lose 20lbs overall, then I'll be normal weight.

Funny you mention about guys asking you out. A couple of guys looked at me the other day for longer than normal but I was 100% convinced that it was because I looked hideous and out of place. Apart from not being slim and having the random clothes I also wear my glasses and have my hair in 2 plaits eitherside because my hair is long..I would never expect anyone in there to find me attractive.

[Throwaway999]

That was helpful, thanks.

 

Are protein shakes essential if I just wanna lose weight? I don't wanna buff up, just tone up a bit and burn fat.

I have to say I don't completely understand the gym language you use there I might have to google it !

I go 3 times a week, do I need to go more? For 1 hr but it doesn't go by quickly at all.

 

Hard to believe you're now addicted, did you have to push yourself to go or did you like it straight from the beginning?

Another point you make is the beer. It's been on my mind lately too..I do drink a lot when I go out.

 

I totally had to push myself to get in shape. I had tried to get in shape without a gym before, but I'm too lazy. I would try to go jogging outside and it would turn into the ol' stagger-an'-pant real quick and I wouldn't push myself very hard. Being on a treadmill is much better because it enforces discipline that I can't by myself - if I type in a time and speed then I HAVE to keep up the pace and go for that long. You can also track your progress and increase the difficulty a little bit at at time. And lifting weights and doing pullups and stuff like that is great because you get tangible feedback that you are accomplishing something. I could barely do one pullup when I started and now I can knock out 3 sets of 8!

 

The protein shakes help because 1.) protein helps you build muscle, so you won't lose it as you cut calories and lose fat, and 2.) it keeps you from being hungry as you cut calories and eat better. I was trying to have a healthier diet and was eating mostly vegetarian, but it is hard to get enough protein as a vegetarian unless you eat a TON of beans and tofu and I was hungry all the time.

 

This guy Scooby really helped me. Don't laugh! He is this hilarious musclebound weirdo who is super into fitness, and records all these fitness advice videos on youtube with no shirt on:

 

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He actually has some really good advice, and he doesn't sugar coat it. Basically, there are no shortcuts: you have to exercise more and eat right. He reviews different fad diets and exercise machines and other scams, and talks about what really works, which is usually pretty basic stuff (like exercising more and eating right). I would suggest watching some of his videos and reading his articles about subjects you have questions about. His workout plan generator is a great tool, too. If you put in a specific fitness goal but don't want to do the work involved, it will tell you "Your goal is not realistic given your constraints. Either downgrade your goal or increase the work you are willing to put in."

 

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Now, I know what you are thinking, you don't want to be a crazy bodybuilder, you just want to get into shape. I am not a bodybuilder by any stretch of the imagination, but the info has helped me out nonetheless.

 

I also don't think you need to worry about "bulking up." Women have this irrational fear that they are going to turn into She-Hulk if they do any weight training but it just isn't going to happen. I've been going to the gym 4-5 days a week for over a year, and been increasing my protein and blah blah, and while I've lost some weight and look a lot better I am nowhere near having a six pack or having anybody mistake me for a bodybuilder. If you are a few pounds overweight it is going to take a lot of work for you to get to any place where you might have to worry about being too muscular.

[Throwaway999]

Oh, yeah - if you are bored, but you lead a "rock n' roll lifestyle" you just need to load up the ipod. I just listen to music the whole time. I'm sure like most people you have a hard drive full of stuff you've barely listened to, and now's your chance to actually listen to it.

[quirky]

I watched the video for women, I see what you mean about bulking up I would need to do a lot of exercise for that to happen. Scooby is cool, bit different ! I put my circumstances and he told me my goal is realistic

I can see I have a long way ahead of me..I did think it'd be easier. Funny how easy it is to have the pizza and a couple of beers but how long it takes to shift it.

 

I have one more question. Do you think it's better to eat 3 good meals or 5 smaller ones? Does it make that much of a difference I mean. I prefer to have 3 meals because otherwise I overeat and never feel full.

 

I'm sure like most people you have a hard drive full of stuff you've barely listened to, and now's your chance to actually listen to it.

 

Actually no..ther eis so much roomm in my ipod, I listen to the same ol things I like. Can't buy any at the moment. The music I listen to is not dancy at all so I just go with the music at the gym but that's fine, I hear something I never would otherwise.

[MasterPo]

I don't go to the gym. Not my scene as I can't justify the cost and I'm not one for crowded joints. My workouts are generally my time, have a set protocol, which basically boils down to overall body maintenance. Unless I'm doing something specific, as in running in a cancer event I focused on ab work, cardio and my hind legs. It worked and I did better than average.

 

I would suggest some tunes, get your workout scheme laid out and work it until you get a good grunt going. Once you get there, I don't believe you will care who's staring or what you wearing. My workout outfit is a ratty green USMC sweatshirt with BITE ME, some dark poly/cotton shorts, ankle socks and cross trainers. Nice eh? LOL

 

Get your workout on, get 'swoll' and forget the obstacles. Good luck!!

[Throwaway999]

I watched the video for women, I see what you mean about bulking up I would need to do a lot of exercise for that to happen. Scooby is cool, bit different ! I put my circumstances and he told me my goal is realistic

I can see I have a long way ahead of me..I did think it'd be easier. Funny how easy it is to have the pizza and a couple of beers but how long it takes to shift it.

 

Yeah, that's another reason I like using a treadmill or eliptical, because it has this calorie counting thing. Even if it isn't totally accurate, it gives you a way to track things, and it also puts you in the mindset of "300 calories = 30 minutes or so on treadmill" so you really start to think in terms of "Is it worth wasting my 30 minutes of treadmill time on another two beers?"

 

I have one more question. Do you think it's better to eat 3 good meals or 5 smaller ones? Does it make that much of a difference I mean. I prefer to have 3 meals because otherwise I overeat and never feel full.

 

I know Scooby recommends SIX small meals a day, but that just isn't realistic for me. That would probably be necessary if I was trying to look like him, but I just want to look lean and healthy and not all roided out. I do 3 regular meals, I just try to make them less crappy than I used to!

 

Actually no..ther eis so much roomm in my ipod, I listen to the same ol things I like. Can't buy any at the moment. The music I listen to is not dancy at all so I just go with the music at the gym but that's fine, I hear something I never would otherwise.

 

My gym plays really horrible music, so if I forget my ipod it is brutal. I have lots of folky stuff and old-time country music on mine, too, but I do end up skipping over those tracks for the more rocking stuff at the gym to keep up the pace. Another option is to download lots of podcasts, or online radio shows. They are free and you can either be learning something or hearing some new music if you find a dj you like.

[quirky]

Another option is to download lots of podcasts, or online radio shows. They are free and you can either be learning something

 

That's a really good idea, thanks, I do love learning new things.

 

MasterPo, there's no way I'll do an hour at a time if I'm on my own, at the gym I push myself because I've paid for it and gone there, I feel like a loser leaving after 30 min.

[MasterPo]

MasterPo, there's no way I'll do an hour at a time if I'm on my own, at the gym I push myself because I've paid for it and gone there, I feel like a loser leaving after 30 min.

 

I see. Actually 30 minutes is a good starting point. Meaning you do something physical for 30 minutes and not walking from one end of the gym to the other. If you want, you can come out here, I'll work out with you and I bet you strut back on the plane and shame the UK with your acquired 8 hour hard body workouts. Just a thought, always there for a friend!

[tiredofvampires]

My workout outfit is a ratty green USMC sweatshirt with BITE ME, some dark poly/cotton shorts, ankle socks and cross trainers. Nice eh? LOL

 

Hey, we'd match, haha! 'Cept mine doesn't say anything on it. It's THAT generic. lol

 

Quirky, I don't have a lot of advice you haven't gotten here from way better-qualified people than me, but I just want to say I find it very satisfying to think of myself as working hard towards a goal and being really self-focused in it. It's a lot easier for people who naturally get into fitness to stay that way, so in a way, you're having to work that much harder, and you should give yourself props for that instead of thinking of how everyone else is overtaking you. As for the clothes, I outright just fly in the face of fashion there, because it makes no sense to me when I'm trying to get my body in shape to be worrying about the gear aesthetics. I figure I'll enjoy the way it looks in a nice outfit later, but for now....yah, ratty shirts and baggy shorts. You think I look homely and sloppy? Well, I'm here to get in shape, not look good for you, so there!! Nyah. Heheh. You almost have to make it a deliberate attitude to not give a rat's ass and then it's very liberating.

 

So nice and mature, haha. But it works.

 

RATTY, RATTY, RATTY!

 

(then again, you're better-dressed then I am in general, I know...so....you'd just make an exception here to get pumped to not give a damn, lol.)

[itsallgrand]

This thread gets me pumped quirky!!

 

I'm so excited for you. But am trying to listen more and speak less. lol. I love hearing about how people are getting and staying fit.

[Throwaway999]

Damn, had a few too many beers last night, plus lost an hour. Really having a hard time getting motivated to drag my ass to the gym today. BUT I SHALL! (Just because I talked such a good game earlier in the thread and I don't want to make a liar out of myself...)

[quirky]

^^ Same. I had drinks on Saturday, slept about 3 hrs, had pizza on Sunday to cure the hangover. I am going today though and I know it will be tough (had 4 cigarettes on Saturday too)