wtm78 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Is throwing tantrum in a relationship acceptable? What does the girl expect the guy to do when she is throwing tantrum? What should the guy do when the girl is throwing tantrum? How to diffuse this "bomb" when there is a tantrum outburst? Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Well, the word "tantrum" is very loaded. It implies that the person is acting like a child. Is that what you mean? Link to comment
chickydoodle Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Take her in your arms - hold her and soothe her and tell her everything is going to be alright. Thats all I ever wanted when I would have an outburst........ Link to comment
Invoker Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 When a girl is in a state of distress, a woman usually expects a man to come by her side and comfort her. Sometimes its normal to break down... It happens to the best of us. You could always hug her and kiss her to make her feel better and make sure to let her know that you love her. If the bomb is really about to explode, leave and let it explode. Let her come down to her senses and then approach her about the situation. - Invoker Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 If she's throwing a tantrum cause shes not getting her way, you should walk away, cause she's doing it to get her way. If she's throwing a tantrum cause she wants attention, give her a hug.. Link to comment
wtm78 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 Well, the word "tantrum" is very loaded. It implies that the person is acting like a child. Is that what you mean? tantrum mean throwing an anger fit.. unable to control her emotion and calmly talk about the situation.. continuing with the angry and destructive ranting and yelling... Link to comment
wtm78 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 If she's throwing a tantrum cause shes not getting her way, you should walk away, cause she's doing it to get her way. If she's throwing a tantrum cause she wants attention, give her a hug.. how can i know the difference?? Link to comment
DN Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 how can i know the difference??Usually because of what caused it and the amount of whining that is being done. But don't allow her to throw a tantrum just to manipulate you. Link to comment
Invoker Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 OP should've had some more clarity. - Invoker Link to comment
wtm78 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 OP should've had some more clarity. - Invoker some say if the woman is acting crazy, you got to look at the guy.. perhaps there are something deeper... but i cant tell if she is throwing a tantrum because i am the problem or she is trying to manipulate me... Link to comment
wtm78 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 Usually because of what caused it and the amount of whining that is being done. But don't allow her to throw a tantrum just to manipulate you. if i dont know what caused it and the angry fit is crazy like running away, kicking you out of the car and drive away.. asking you to leave... asking you to go find someone else if you can... is that manipulating? Link to comment
chickydoodle Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 if i dont know what caused it and the angry fit is crazy like running away, kicking you out of the car and drive away.. asking you to leave... asking you to go find someone else if you can... is that manipulating? She may need a medical check up or you may be a hell of a hard guy to live with I behaved like this when I had an over active thyroid problem.......A simple blood test may be all thats needed... Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I don't think you should allow her to yell at you. I don't think that's appropriate. She's an adult and needs to act like an adult, not a 3 year old. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 if i dont know what caused it and the angry fit is crazy like running away, kicking you out of the car and drive away.. asking you to leave... asking you to go find someone else if you can... is that manipulating? what prompted this behavior? did she find out that you are cheating on her.... or is she mad that you forgot to buy some milk on the way home?? Link to comment
wtm78 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 what prompted this behavior? did she find out that you are cheating on her.... or is she mad that you forgot to buy some milk on the way home?? To be honest, sometimes I don't know... Its usually something I said and she would just explode. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 To be honest, sometimes I don't know... Its usually something I said and she would just explode. can you try to think back to some instances? it would be helpful to know what it is you have said that causes these "explosions." Link to comment
DN Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 if i dont know what caused it and the angry fit is crazy like running away, kicking you out of the car and drive away.. asking you to leave... asking you to go find someone else if you can... is that manipulating?No, that is abusive behavior and you should dump her immediately. You don't need to blame yourself or look at what is causing her behaviour - it's unacceptable no matter what the cause. Link to comment
wtm78 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Share Posted February 25, 2013 No, that is abusive behavior and you should dump her immediately. You don't need to blame yourself or look at what is causing her behaviour - it's unacceptable no matter what the cause. thanks.. I know what you mean... but it kind of left me hanging thinking if it is my fault or not... and i cant break through without knowing... Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 Tantrums should be ignored. If an adult needs something, they need to communicate and if they're too angry to do that, they need to calm down by themselves until they're ready to communicate. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 If what you are saying is true, then you should end the relationship. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 If what you are saying is true, then you should end the relationship. I do agree. The bottom line is that you don't deserve to be screamed at no matter what the cause. If you did something terrible (killed her dog, cheated on her with her sister) she should break up with you. And if she is yelling at you because you forgot to buy milk, she has issues and you should break up. Still, I'm just wondering what causes the outbursts. What was the conversation leading up to it? If you truly don't know, then it sounds like you aren't paying attention to her, and tantrums are her way of "getting your attention." Not that it is a healthy way to communicate. My 2 cents. Link to comment
Moonphase Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I tend to have my "tantrums" when I am not being listened to. When I have to repeat myself 10 times and he STILL doesn't get my point....I will freak. Also, when I'm PMSing, little things like dinner not being ready when I come home can put me in a huffy mood, but when that happens I'm aware that I'm being unreasonable and try my best to get myself in check. Link to comment
DN Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Sometimes people can't tell the difference between their partner 'not getting my point' with 'not agreeing with my point' or 'not doing what I want them to do'. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I think that's emotionally abusive. When I was in HS, I dated a guy who would scream at me when angry and I dumped his sorry butt. How does anyone deal with this? Yo no shouldn't. If my boyfriend and I need to cool down, one of us leaves the apartment and goes and sits on the porch. (Cause it's too small for us to both be there when angry lol). Cooling down does wonders. If she's an adult and hasn't figured that out yet, she has some major issues. Link to comment
AppleJax620 Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I tend to have my "tantrums" when I am not being listened to. When I have to repeat myself 10 times and he STILL doesn't get my point....I will freak. Also, when I'm PMSing, little things like dinner not being ready when I come home can put me in a huffy mood, but when that happens I'm aware that I'm being unreasonable and try my best to get myself in check. This is what I was going to say. I try and talk about something and he doesn't listen and I have to repeat myself it's frustrating and every time I repeat my voice gets louder because its like ARE YOU DEAF? Lol. My bf's problem is when he is drunk. He is so intelligent but when he gets drunk it's like I'm dating a mentally handicapped child! Wow that sounds terrible but it's true. Luckily I don't deal with that often. The key is to find out why she has these outbursts. You've answered but I don't think anyone can be satisfied with your answer, because you're dancing around it and not giving enough specifics. And to everyone saying "Just break it off" This is why the divorce rate is so high, no one TRIES anymore! Fix it, don't break it! Next time your girl is talking to you, put down your cell, turn off the TV, and LISTEN...maybe you'll be able to actually HEAR her. Link to comment
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