Teebz Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 So, basically about a week ago I slept with a friend (FINALLY!! that I've always been really attracted to for 8 years. I met him when I was about sixteen years old, and he was 23 years old.I was really attracted to him from the get-go..But the age thing was always an issue, along with the fact that he was in a relationship at the time. He did admit that he had feelings for me as well, but somehow we could never really make it work. So we became friends, I started seeing my now-ex, and him and I would meet up every once in while for drinks or a concert or whatever. About 1,5 years ago he broke up with his girlfriend, and then three months ago I got dumped. So now we were both single, that really got me thinking, haha! I liked him as a friend, but there was always this really strong sexual attraction that I had towards him, that I couldn't really explain. Us both being single now opened up this oppurtunity, and I really felt that it would take care of the sexual tension that had been building for so long, if we just slept together (I would sometimes think about him when I was still with my ex). So about a week ago we did, (turns out he had the same thoughts about the tension, etc.) and it was strange, awesome, intense all at the same time. I always knew we would be physically and sexually compatible. We both agreed that it would be a one time thing, but now I catch myself fantasizing about him, and what happened between us. We even spoke very briefly and he asked me to come over again. I said no, because I just got back from visiting my family for Christmas, and we live in different cities. But now I feel like I should have gone. I thought that by having sex with him I could get him out of my system, but now I don't know if we can ever be just 'casual' friends again. Should I talk to him about this? Have you guys ever experienced something like this? Link to comment
Jennifer89 Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 We can speculate all you want, but only he can tell you. I think it would be difficult to only have benefits, but that's just me. Would he be interested in dating? Would you? Link to comment
Teebz Posted December 30, 2012 Author Share Posted December 30, 2012 I would be interested in dating, but I really don't want to ruin our friendship, though it kind of feels ruined already...I really don't know if he would be interested in dating though..This stuff is messing with my head I tell you! Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 Yes. You've opened Pandora's box. If you both agreed it was just a one time thing, then KEEP it at one time thing unless you talk to him again and agree that you would start dating rather than just falling into a FWB thing. Otherwise you will break your heart. You already have all this desire and emotion built up, and it will get worse if you keep doing it. And if he doesn't want a relationship, you will just be setting yourself up for a lot of pain. If you really don't want to ruin the friendship, then go back to being friends and don't fall into a FWB situation or it will eventually ruin the friendship if you really fall in love and he doesn't. If you think this is messing with your head now, just wait if you keep this up. So have that talk with him and see whether he sees you as a potential romantic candidate for dating or just a FWB situation. If he won't agree to actually date you, then don't sleep with him again. Link to comment
AnonLadyOnline Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 I couldnt have said it better. Do not do a FWB with this guy. You will be seriously messed up. Deal with the emotions like its a break-up and go NC. Link to comment
Teebz Posted December 30, 2012 Author Share Posted December 30, 2012 Thanks lavender, you're right! Gosh..I thought I could be 'cooler' about this, but I guess I'm not the casual sex type of girl.. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 So have that talk with him and see whether he sees you as a potential romantic candidate for dating or just a FWB situation. If he won't agree to actually date you, then don't sleep with him again. I agree. But if the experience was so good, maybe go for a second helping first before the talk (get it while the gettin's good lol)...If you think you could be ok emotionally. Link to comment
loveology Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 I agree. But if the experience was so good, maybe go for a second helping first before the talk (get it while the gettin's good lol)...If you think you could be ok emotionally. Hahaha! I like the way you think .. Link to comment
ConservativeM Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 You must have thought about this relation before starting the whole issue. If you had planned for one night stand then you must have planned how to stop afterward. He is your very old crush and you know the reasons for such feeling in yourself. Only sex compatibility does not decides the relationships and sex compatibility can not carries the relationships so long. Testing new items at first time always use to have a great feelings but it may not continue in further encounters( i do not hope so). Now both of you are young so sex may have more priority, but during a long relationships – priorities keep on changing according to time and both of you should be compatible in each priority. If You are thinking to have long term relationships than take sometime before concluding anything. ConservativeM Link to comment
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